Raspewtin
Stay at home defenseman hater
- May 30, 2013
- 43,646
- 20,087
your posts are the best part of this thread tbh
OT: Relationship Advice Thread
- Thread starter LokiDog
- Start date
RempireStateBuilding
Registered User
Background checks are used to find things like past violent assault charges, convictions, sex offender registration. Employment history too if they're talking a really big game. People can be very good at hiding very important information for personal gain. I can understand wanting to move on from a bad past and respect someone for not wanting to discuss their past at every turn, but I also absolutely respect someone's decision that meeting a person with a history like that is a dealbreaker. I don't know exactly what kind of checks my friend does for guys she meets, but she sends me screenshots from a site(?) called Trellis that show the type of offenses, if it was a repeat offense, where & when it happened, who filed the charges, and the status of any charges.
Some people are more honest and forthcoming. You and your girlfriend sound lucky to have found that in each other to where you don't have to worry. Having a number of people corroborate things is usually a good sign too.
I've managed to be in 4 serious relationships without having a domestic assault charge or any charge brought against me. None of my friends have any convictions or charges either. That, to me, is a red flag 9.9 times out of 10. By the time they're caught there's almost always a history. Maybe they're not bad people, but it doesn't always take a bad person to do bad things sometimes. It would take a lot of vetting to convince me.
It's a very different dating world for women compared to men. The popular meme phrase I've seen is that in dating, men are afraid of being catfished; women are afraid of being murdered. It's insane to consider that that's the other half's reality because yea, I've never ran a check on anyone I've dated or felt in any sort danger going on a date. But that's women's reality.
Machinehead
HFNYR MVP
Everything the light touches is Liberty Country.
Since we're in the Relationship thread is your Liberty fandom on the top of your selling points?
"I respect women so much that I even watch a subpar league full of bricked shots and missed layups"?
Machinehead
HFNYR MVP
The Liberty have made me two things you'll never be:
1) Happy
2) A fan a championship winning team
That’s a weird way of asking if it’s okay to date your coworkers.
I’m freaking the f*** out guys. My ex is taking Henry to Poland for 2 months. We have paperwork to enforce it, but one it’s a long ass time and two there’s no guarantee she comes back. I could legally go and get him if she doesn’t but it’s not like Poland would force her to come back or anything. It has potential to get ugly. Meanwhile, expecting another child with the girl I’ve been with is exciting but still SO unexpected (yeah… I’m not an idiot; we knew it was possible and played with fire… a lot… but I drink a ton, smoke, etc. and I’m 38. We just didn’t think it was happening). I am in a far better place today than I was 6 months ago, but I also still have debt collectors calling daily and am always scrambling to figure out my budget and make sure our rent is paid, etc.
I don’t know if I’m ready for this child. She’s only met my family once and I haven’t told them she’s pregnant. Her family knows and I’ve met them a lot. They’re great, but they’re also struggling - they were well off for a long time but fell on hard times and are trying to sell their house. We have virtually no support system aside from their emotional support. She doesn’t have insurance and can’t be on mine because we aren’t married. We need to go to a doctor and get an ultrasound and preliminary tests done on this baby. I know I’m in a better place and it’s a good relationship and there’s a happy future to be had somewhere in all of this… but right now I feel like such a giant POS knowing that I literally can’t afford to pay for the proper doctors to support this pregnancy and keep a roof over our heads at the same time. And the entire holiday season at this point is nothing but pressure, anxiety and isolation. It’s becoming a very real situation and I am worried about spiraling into alcoholism and destructive patterns between now and new years.
