OT: Relationship Advice Thread

[TopShelfSnipes]

When choosing a partner, sex, chemistry, looks, and $ aren't the only things that matter. Trust me, you need more.

The most important things in order:

• Compatible life goals (career/family balance, kids/no kids, settle down/travel, etc.)
• Compatible desired lifestyle (includes work ethic/ambition/worklife balance/urban or rural/etc.)
• Baseline physical attraction (meaning you look at the other person and find them attractive enough)
• Compatible trauma (sorry, everyone has trauma - basically yours and theirs must be compatible/workable). This one's hard - may not find it out for years!
• Compatible love languages (physical affection, flirting, gift giving, compliments, time/attention, service)
• Compatible personality (sense of humor, introvert/extrovert, shared hobbies/interests, willingness to share in partner's hobbies/interests) - note this doesn't mean they match - it means each person matches what the other person is looking for. An introvert and extrovert can work if that's what each of them are looking for!
• Family/friend compatibility
• Physical attraction beyond baseline (meaning if a 7 or better works for you, this is the difference between a 7 and 9).

When you put these things in the wrong order, or they aren't compatible, things can break down in all sorts of wacky ways.

 

[Bondra slapshot]

To add to the online dating discussion, I met my current girlfriend on Tinder last year and we've been together since. We actually met abroad while we were both overseas for our respective jobs. It was just coincidental that I'm from Long Island and she's from north Jersey, around the Cedar Grove/Montclair region.

I remember one of the first things I asked her was if she was a sports fan in our Tinder conversation, wondering if she happened to be a Devils fan. Fortunately she said she wasn't really into sports. I saw this as an opportunity.

Fast forward to now, we're in a serious relationship. I was able to convince her to become a New York Rangers fan also. Maybe this was the ultimate win in the end.

Thank you New Jersey

 

[SnowblindNYR]

To add to the online dating discussion, I met my current girlfriend on Tinder last year and we've been together since. We actually met abroad while we were both overseas for our respective jobs. It was just coincidental that I'm from Long Island and she's from north Jersey, around the Cedar Grove/Montclair region.

I remember one of the first things I asked her was if she was a sports fan in our Tinder conversation, wondering if she happened to be a Devils fan. Fortunately she said she wasn't really into sports. I saw this as an opportunity.

Fast forward to now, we're in a serious relationship. I was able to convince her to become a New York Rangers fan also. Maybe this was the ultimate win in the end.

Thank you New Jersey

Congrats! But I always thought you were a Caps fan,

 

[SnowblindNYR]

@LokiDog inspired me to name my son Adam if we have a son.

 

[bobbop]

Genesis 2:24...Two shall become one flesh.

Respect each other, respect the relationship and understand that the only win is a shared win. A relationship has to be an all in thing. You can’t pick and choose.

45 years this September and still working at it.

So…I typically ignore these off topic threads but I remembered dropping a dime here a few years ago. Found my humble contribution and wanted to see how it has held up.

The advice has aged well. Up to 49 years and still standing strong. Take your time and find that person. When you do, go all in. He or she is out there.

 

[TheGortonConspiracy]

nvm

 

[DevilDog99]

Helps to get your girl into hockey

 

[Megustaelhockey]

This is a super cute thread. I haven't participated in it because I am an LGBT community member, and my reality doesn't always jive with everyone else here, but it's nice to see the perspective and experiences y'all have shared with each other.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

This is a super cute thread. I haven't participated in it because I am an LGBT community member, and my reality doesn't always jive with everyone else here, but it's nice to see the perspective and experiences y'all have shared with each other.

More likely your partner likes sports.

 

[bobbop]

View attachment 905923

Helps to get your girl into hockey

This!

My wife tells me that when we got engaged, she started reading the sports page. She knew almost nothing about sports before we got married. Now she follows the Rangers, Cubs and has a good idea about other important hockey and baseball news. One night we were at a Coyotes game and she leaned over to me and said “the Blackhawks don’t have a lot of guys going tonight”. I hugged her.

 

[DevilDog99]

This!

My wife tells me that when we got engaged, she started reading the sports page. Now she follows the Rangers, Cubs and has a good idea about other important hockey and baseball news. Even a little football.

My partner didn’t know a thing about hockey 3 years ago. Now she is telling me things that I forgot in 35 years of watching/playing! We love it… catch us in the “cheap seats” or Tir na Nog.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Does anyone have a wife or GF that thinks busting your balls about your team is fun? I mean she's gotten me more Rangers related gifts (including the wedding gift) than I've had in my life. But she at least used to act like a Devils fan at a game, thinking it's fun to get me riled up. She does that with her guy friends too. There's something endearing about it, since she's not boring. But also one game in particular we got into a big fight because she trolled me when the Rangers gave up a late GWG.

 

[Raspewtin]

Does anyone have a wife or GF that thinks busting your balls about your team is fun? I mean she's gotten me more Rangers related gifts (including the wedding gift) than I've had in my life. But she at least used to act like a drunk Devils fan at a game, thinking it's fun to get me riled up. She does that with her guy friends too. There's something endearing about it, since she's not boring. But also one game in particular we got into a big fight because she trolled me when the Rangers gave up a late GWG.

my wife does this but with the yankees lol, I can't even disagree at this point

 

[SnowblindNYR]

my wife does this but with the yankees lol, I can't even disagree at this point

On the one hand, it's all in good fun. She got me a cake with a Rangers logo, and like 3 Rangers gifts on my birthday and a Rangers jersey for one of my wedding gifts. So it's not like she doesn't realize this stupid team is important to me. On the other hand, she probably doesn't understand how pissed I am when they lose. She's done it less lately. I think the worst troll I've gotten was "what did you expect they always lose?" after losses. And meanwhile she knows nothing about the team's performances, lol. The Giants she'd be correct about though.

 

[NickyFotiu]

View attachment 905923

Helps to get your girl into hockey

Lucky man! Good job!

Does anyone have a wife or GF that thinks busting your balls about your team is fun? I mean she's gotten me more Rangers related gifts (including the wedding gift) than I've had in my life. But she at least used to act like a drunk Devils fan at a game, thinking it's fun to get me riled up. She does that with her guy friends too. There's something endearing about it, since she's not boring. But also one game in particular we got into a big fight because she trolled me when the Rangers gave up a late GWG.

I have in the past and I think you need to just take it in a joking nature. Getting in to a fight over it is a huge mistake imo.

This is a super cute thread. I haven't participated in it because I am an LGBT community member, and my reality doesn't always jive with everyone else here, but it's nice to see the perspective and experiences y'all have shared with each other.

It is a relationship thread not a preference thread. Your perspective and opinions are as welcomed as anyone else's so share away.

 

[Rangerfan4life90]

my wife does this but with the yankees lol, I can't even disagree at this point

My girlfriend does this with me as well, lol. She wasn't into baseball, hockey, or basketball much before we started dating (she was always a football fan and an Eagles fan). I've gotten her into baseball and basketball and is basically a Yankees and Knicks fan. However, I don't think I'll ever be able to get her into hockey much, haha.

 

[romba]

Does anyone have a wife or GF that thinks busting your balls about your team is fun? I mean she's gotten me more Rangers related gifts (including the wedding gift) than I've had in my life. But she at least used to act like a drunk Devils fan at a game, thinking it's fun to get me riled up. She does that with her guy friends too. There's something endearing about it, since she's not boring. But also one game in particular we got into a big fight because she trolled me when the Rangers gave up a late GWG.

The only real issue I had like this was when we lost the SC to the Kings in OT, we had a 2 month old at the time (our first) and I was grumpy AF and not interested in chatting about his latest shit consistency 4 minutes after I angrily turned off the broadcast

very tacky this time no?
*stares hard*
It's only a game

Did not go over well and to her credit she's never done it again. Now she's super sympathetic after big losses, but even that I used to barely tolerate I'd be so upset. I've since learned to quickly move on from sports defeats as they've just become so regularly consistent over the past decade plus, despite being a Yankees, Giants and Rangers fan.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

The only real issue I had like this was when we lost the SC to the Kings in OT, we had a 2 month old at the time (our first) and I was grumpy AF and not interested in chatting about his latest shit consistency 4 minutes after I angrily turned off the broadcast

very tacky this time no?
*stares hard*
It's only a game

Did not go over well and to her credit she's never done it again. Now she's super sympathetic after big losses, but even that I used to barely tolerate I'd be so upset. I've since learned to quickly move on from sports defeats as they've just become so regularly consistent over the past decade plus, despite being a Yankees, Giants and Rangers fan.

"It's only a game" is something people that don't like sports think. It's a competition and people that watch align themselves with these teams and feel like THEY lost. I hate when people say that, ugh.

 

[bobbop]

Does anyone have a wife or GF that thinks busting your balls about your team is fun? I mean she's gotten me more Rangers related gifts (including the wedding gift) than I've had in my life. But she at least used to act like a drunk Devils fan at a game, thinking it's fun to get me riled up. She does that with her guy friends too. There's something endearing about it, since she's not boring. But also one game in particular we got into a big fight because she trolled me when the Rangers gave up a late GWG.

My wife knows better. My son not so much.

 

[NickyFotiu]

On the one hand, it's all in good fun. She got me a cake with a Rangers logo, and like 3 Rangers gifts on my birthday and a Rangers jersey for one of my wedding gifts. So it's not like she doesn't realize this stupid team is important to me. On the other hand, she probably doesn't understand how pissed I am when they lose. She's done it less lately. I think the worst troll I've gotten was "what did you expect they always lose?" after losses. And meanwhile she knows nothing about the team's performances, lol. The Giants she'd be correct about though.

I refused to answer my buddies texts last year when he jinxed our NYR in the playoffs. He is my buddy though not a wife. Don't let the NYR get between you and your wife ever. They are not worth that.

 

[kovazub94]

I refused to answer my buddies texts last year when he jinxed our NYR in the playoffs. He is my buddy though not a wife. Don't let the NYR get between you and your wife ever. They are not worth that.

Finally voice of reason. Fandom comparability or even attitude toward sports in general is not what defines a healthy relationship.

Been happily married for well over 20 years. My wife couldn't care less about sports while our wonderful kids are also on a different sides of sports fandom spectrum - my daughter is agnostic while my son watches everything just like I did at his age.

Keep your eyes on what's truly important.

 

[NickyFotiu]

Finally voice of reason. Fandom comparability or even attitude toward sports in general is not what defines a healthy relationship.

Been happily married for well over 20 years. My wife could care less about sports while our wonderful kids are also on a different sides of sports fandom spectrum - my daughter is agnostic while my son watches everything just like I did at his age.

Keep your eyes on what's truly important.

You are right. Congrats on your 20 years!

Just imagine going before a judge in divorce court.

Judge: So what is the main issue that brings us here today?

Husband: My wife made jokes about the NY Rangers

Judge: Well Kakko did only have 6 assists last season

 

[kovazub94]

You are right. Congrats on your 20 years!

Just imagine going before a judge in divorce court.

Judge: So what is the main issue that brings us here today?

Husband: My wife made jokes about the NY Rangers

Judge: Well Kakko did only have 6 assists last season

In my case it would be:

"Your honor, she said - turn down sound on your soccer game when I was watching hockey"...

Case closed.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Finally voice of reason. Fandom comparability or even attitude toward sports in general is not what defines a healthy relationship.

Been happily married for well over 20 years. My wife couldn't care less about sports while our wonderful kids are also on a different sides of sports fandom spectrum - my daughter is agnostic while my son watches everything just like I did at his age.

Keep your eyes on what's truly important.

I'm not sure if you're responding to me or people that said they're happy their GFs/wives took on their fandom. But I'm pretty sure no one in this thread thinks it defines a healthy relationship.

 

[GoAwayPanarin]

Does anyone have a wife or GF that thinks busting your balls about your team is fun? I mean she's gotten me more Rangers related gifts (including the wedding gift) than I've had in my life. But she at least used to act like a drunk Devils fan at a game, thinking it's fun to get me riled up. She does that with her guy friends too. There's something endearing about it, since she's not boring. But also one game in particular we got into a big fight because she trolled me when the Rangers gave up a late GWG.

No but it helps that college basketball is the only sport that we both have a rooting interest in.

However I don’t think getting that heated over a game is healthy. I get it’s an in the moment thing but nothing that happens in sports should really impact how you act in real life, especially with your wife. Vent here instead (as you already do.)