will1066
Registered User
- Oct 12, 2008
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- 67,985
The bowling alley is a hybrid bar/bowling alley and I think that's the idea.
A change of venue gives it the psychological after-party vibe.
The bowling alley is a hybrid bar/bowling alley and I think that's the idea.
A change of venue gives it the psychological after-party vibe.
Yeah but being in the same value makes it more likely people will actually go to the bar.
That's probably what you do not want. Whittle down the field for the after-party.
how maek gril touch pp?
So, you’re gonna want to arrange the briquettes in a mound and add some lighter fluid, then apply a match and wait for the charcoals to be nice and gray. Put the grate down on the grill, wait for it to get nice and hot, unzip your trousers and lay pp directly on grill.
You’re a rl man when you have gril mRks on pp
I'm no expert on women (interested to @Loki Dog 74's thoughts as he is our resident godfather) but I am a sociologist.
I study people. I'm a collector of stories. I put together qualitative experiences until I can see a quantitative pattern. In order to help myself, as I am currently single (I was single pre-covid and covid threw me off the horse) I've been observing how people met. Whether it's long-term partners or not quite that serious.
And here (unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you wanna look at it) is the number one common thread I've observed: luck.
Overwhelmingly, the most common explanation is "we just clicked" or "we just hit it off." Very few guys qualify for what I would consider "smooth" and many, in fact, were actively awkward or did things "wrong."
You hear about confidence, and do think confidence helps. But I don't think it's this panacea that women smell like wolves and then melt. It's an indirect aid. What it provides is the ability to expose your true self so the "clicking" happens with the right person, and it allows you to persevere through bad luck or just not finding chemistry, which is a luck factor.
I told you all long ago that I have late-stage problems and I'll elaborate on that now. This is personal experience now. I have had a good chance with, off the top of my head, 20-25 women. Easily. Probably forgetting some. I blow it because I always feel pressured to be "cool" or "aloof." It's not me. You guys know that's not me because you see it with the Rangers. I'm passionate and emotional. I have a "cannonball into the pool" personality. I'm adventurous and I like expressing myself. If I attract a response to that naturally, and then try to be Fonzie or whatever the f***, the "click" goes away. For years, I focused on the wrong things. I tried to be cooler every time it fell apart.
I'll admit, I'm nervous getting back on the horse after the covid times. But when I do, the thing I'm going to change is not trying to change myself.
You’re a rl man when you have gril mRks on pp
I've gone to three singles events in the last couple of months. I got three phone numbers. All from guys...
Ask yourself man. What’s the worst that can happen if you talk to a girl. They tell you to f*** off? Don’t get me wrong Ik it’s not easy but you have to consider that. A wing would definitely help! Or a few drinks in ya
I should start a service where dudes send me their photos and interests and then I create their dating profile and handle initial communications for them. When it's time for the handoff you have a conversation history to look back on to bring you up to speed.
I’m pretty sure that already exists, I think it’s called Grindr.
This is the basic plot of Hitch.I should start a service where dudes send me their photos and interests and then I create their dating profile and handle initial communications for them (with ladies... duh). When it's time for the handoff you have a conversation history to look back on to bring you up to speed.
This is the basic plot of Hitch.
mahman! that's how it's done!I've gone to three singles events in the last couple of months. I got three phone numbers. All from guys...
I'm no expert on women (interested to @Loki Dog 74's thoughts as he is our resident godfather) but I am a sociologist.
I study people. I'm a collector of stories. I put together qualitative experiences until I can see a quantitative pattern. In order to help myself, as I am currently single (I was single pre-covid and covid threw me off the horse) I've been observing how people met. Whether it's long-term partners or not quite that serious.
And here (unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you wanna look at it) is the number one common thread I've observed: luck.
Overwhelmingly, the most common explanation is "we just clicked" or "we just hit it off." Very few guys qualify for what I would consider "smooth" and many, in fact, were actively awkward or did things "wrong."
You hear about confidence, and do think confidence helps. But I don't think it's this panacea that women smell like wolves and then melt. It's an indirect aid. What it provides is the ability to expose your true self so the "clicking" happens with the right person, and it allows you to persevere through bad luck or just not finding chemistry, which is a luck factor.
I told you all long ago that I have late-stage problems and I'll elaborate on that now. This is personal experience now. I have had a good chance with, off the top of my head, 20-25 women. Easily. Probably forgetting some. I blow it because I always feel pressured to be "cool" or "aloof." It's not me. You guys know that's not me because you see it with the Rangers. I'm passionate and emotional. I have a "cannonball into the pool" personality. I'm adventurous and I like expressing myself. If I attract a response to that naturally, and then try to be Fonzie or whatever the f***, the "click" goes away. For years, I focused on the wrong things. I tried to be cooler every time it fell apart.
I'll admit, I'm nervous getting back on the horse after the covid times. But when I do, the thing I'm going to change is not trying to change myself.
mahman! that's how it's done!
First, thanks for the work you've done in this thread. You've been a real help.Old post, but I saw it quoted and I'll jump in.
It's definitely luck. I've been on 100 first dates, I'm sure. Some just didn't click and went nowhere. Some were one night stands, but obviously, at least one of us, didn't have an interest in a second get together. Some ended up in a handful of dates but fizzled because the chemistry wasn't there. Some ended up with a week, or month, or 3 months of hooking up but not getting serious. Some turned into relationships, which lasted anywhere from a few months to several years. There wasn't anything I felt I did right or wrong that led to any of those outcomes. In some (many) cases, I (or both of us) only wanted to hookup or have a physical fling. In some I (or both of us) just didn't seem to click and want to go beyond a first or second date. The only time I've ever felt I'd done something wrong has been when a long term relationship has ended, and it's what we all go through - both partners have likely done things differently than they'd have liked if they could have a re-do but you've reached the point of moving on and you take your regrets and lessons learned and do so.
Confidence, to me, just isn't what movies and books and coaches make it out to be. It's not about being smooth, or forward. It's not bravado or an act. That's not real confidence; confidence should be short for SELF confidence, which to me is being confident or, rather, secure and comfortable in YOURSELF. Comfortable to be who you are.
My fiance and I first met up at a bar for a drink. Blind date scenario, knew very little about each other besides maybe one or two talking points. I got their first, 20 minutes early and ordered a drink. I chatted with the bartender - I want to say it was Veteran's Day, I'd just separated from the Air Force and he was wearing a Grunt Style t-shirt so I asked if he was a fellow vet, etc. He gave me a shot of some terrible peanut butter whiskey. This ended up being a great idea because at least once during the date he offered us both another free shot, which probably made me look real cool
She walked in and sheepishly approached to confirm that I was Matt and I stood up to greet her, because that's what a guy should do. We exchanged a very awkward, very light, quick hug and sat at the bar. Conversation was just as awkward and bumbling in the beginning as any of you would experience; no secrets, no trick for confidence or right thing to say. Just exploring interests, grasping for something to start a more earnest conversation about. I don't know how many times I laughed at myself and said "well, I'm a huge nerd, so..."
What's your favorite movie? "Well, I'm a huge nerd so... I LOVE Lord of the Rings... and Harry Potter... but I guess I also love Inglorious Basterds?"
Oh! I love Lord of the Rings, did you read it or just the movies?
"Come on, I just said I'm a huge nerd, of course I read it, and re-read it, and re-watch it like 3x a year"
"I rewatch it like every 6 months!"
Blah, blah, blah. Same exact conversation. So what about Game of Thrones? Read it, love it. Are you excited for the new show coming out? The Witcher? Turns out she read it all, in the original Polish. Oh wow, that's so cool didn't realize the author was Polish. I'll have to try reading it. How about sports? Not really into sports. Well, that's okay... I'm a huge nerd about hockey, so maybe I'll have to take you to a Rangers game.
A few drinks, lots of impassioned conversations about our favorite character or book or this or that. Lots of laughs. A couple of hours go by, she says it's getting late and she should get going before she has any more to drink. I agree, we both agree we had fun and should get together again. I walk her to her car and go for the kiss. Yes, it's awkward. She seems surprised. I think we even have a little laugh about the awkwardness of the moment, but then we kiss again, much better and depart. I texted her 30 minutes later that I had a good time. We had a second date a couple of days later, this time with an activity involved because two dates of just talking is a lot in the beginning, so bowling and laughing at each other kept it exciting.
Don't be nervous about getting back out there. Don't be Fonzie. Don't be aloof. Own who you are. Everything about my first date with my now fiance was about owning who I am and being totally honest about it. I didn't gloss over the fact that I love Lord of the Rings because it's nerdy or uncool. I proclaimed that I could quote the entire trilogy line by line and explain the Silmarilion. If she hadn't been into it, I may have reeled it in a little and not devoted as much time to discussing just how much I love it, but I'd have still owned it. The only thing that took actual "confidence" in the stereotypical sense - more like courage - was going for the kiss at the end, and yes, I think that she appreciated the confidence to do that and not meekly say goodnight (and this depends on your read of the date - it had went really well, I didn't think there was much chance of her rejecting a kiss).