Salary Cap: Pens '24-'25 Salary Thread: The Crosbicles Volume XIX

[Andy99]

HOG loves this guy for some reason. But HOG has gone AWOL.

Probably because he wears Ceci’s old number lol…

 

[DesertedPenguin]

For those wondering, they recalled Clurman because he's a right shot and more of a third pairing guy.

St. Ivany is injured. So is Aho.

Other options would have been Kral, who is a lefty, or Hollowell. Little surprised it's not Hollowell, but he's more offensive oriented.

 

[Peat]

Small, maybe, correction: wasn't it Chychrun instead of Hanifin?

Iirc, there were lots of rumours about Chychrun in season. But he got moved that same season. Out of season, when it was Dubas, there was talk about the Pens and Hanifin.

 

[SEALBound]

For those wondering, they recalled Clurman because he's a right shot and more of a third pairing guy.

St. Ivany is injured. So is Aho.

Other options would have been Kral, who is a lefty, or Hollowell. Little surprised it's not Hollowell, but he's more offensive oriented.

"Everything is coming up Clurman!"

Iirc, there were lots of rumours about Chychrun in season. But he got moved that same season. Out of season, when it was Dubas, there was talk about the Pens and Hanifin.

I don't recall anything with Hanifin TBH. I remember a lot of buzz around Chychrun when it was Hextall until he and his genius AGM decided to pivot to Granlund for a 2nd for some unknown reason. I remember reports of Sullivan pushing for Chychrun to add to backend mobility because Petry was more of a statue than a hockey player.

 

[BusinessGoose]

Lol holy shit, that's right, Aho is one of our players lol

 

[SomeDude]

Lol holy shit, that's right, Aho is one of our players lol

I would argue our roster is surrounded by Ahos.

 

[McGroarty2]

I would argue our roster is surrounded by Ahos.

Keep firing Ahos!

 

[Luigi Lemieux]

Ah yes, The tankjob so obvious that all other tankjobs wolverinememe.jpg over it. I had it in my head that the 84 Pens tank was so blatant that it lead to the creation of the lottery but 2 seconds of google tells me that is incorrect and the draft lottery didn't start until 1995.

It was actually teams blatantly tanking for Daigle in 1993 that lead to the draft lottery.

 

[Randy Butternubs]

Keep firing Ahos!

How many Ahos do we have on this ship anyway?!?

 

[Andy99]

I could have written these comments for him in my sleep lol…

 

[DesertPenguin]

If ever there was a time to bring in a logjammed young defenseman and give them a shot (a la Pettersson when we acquired him), now is the time. We're down to Nate Clurman. Who the f is Nate Clurman?

 

[McGroarty2]

If ever there was a time to bring in a logjammed young defenseman and give them a shot (a la Pettersson when we acquired him), now is the time. We're down to Nate Clurman. Who the f is Nate Clurman?

Nate Clurman = The Piece

 

[K Fleur]

Going by his eloteprospects page Clutman hasn’t been able to score at any level, so he’ll fit in here.

 

[DesertPenguin]

I could have written these comments for him in my sleep lol…

Hot take: Mike Sullivan got replaced two years ago by ChatGPT being told to emulate Mike Sullivan, stuffed into a cardboard cutout. The media has yet to notice.

 

[Andy99]

Going by his eloteprospects page Clutman hasn’t been able to score at any level, so he’ll fit in here.

And he PKs too….PKs and zero finishing, check…perfect for Mike Sullivan hockey

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

Mmm, elote.

 

[DesertedPenguin]

And he PKs too….PKs and zero finishing, check…perfect for Mike Sullivan hockey

I mean, with Pettersson out they lost a pretty critical component to their PK.

Unless you want Karlsson on the PK.

 

[Dennis Reynolds]

Mmm, elote.

The players in this system are so bad their pages appear on the elite prospects knockoff site.

 

[Gurglesons]

Going by his eloteprospects page Clutman hasn’t been able to score at any level, so he’ll fit in here.

Not sure with the injuries and Pickering already up there is anything better....

 

[DesertPenguin]

Not sure with the injuries and Pickering already up there is anything better....

There's not, and that's a problem. Shea will get into the lineup, so OK, but we are at the bottom of the barrel after that. And D on the waiver wire should be looked at, hard.

 

[Still Apps]

Hot take: Mike Sullivan got replaced two years ago by ChatGPT being told to emulate Mike Sullivan, stuffed into a cardboard cutout. The media has yet to notice.

Here is what ChatGPT actually produced in response to a prompt to address Letang's season as Mike Sullivan:

Mike Sullivan (addressing reporters at a press conference):

"First off, I just want to say how pleased we are with Kris' performance so far this season. He's really taken his game to another level, and it's been exciting to watch. Kris has always been an important part of our team, but what we've seen from him recently is a result of a combination of factors—his work ethic, his commitment to getting better, and his ability to adapt his game as he gets older.

He’s playing with a lot of confidence, and he’s really embraced a leadership role on and off the ice. What stands out to me this season is how he’s reading the game. Kris has always been a dynamic player—his offensive instincts are second to none—but what we've seen from him lately is an even greater sense of maturity in how he’s managing his minutes, picking his spots, and making smart decisions in all three zones.

We’ve also seen him evolve in terms of his defensive play. He’s been more responsible in his own end, using his experience to anticipate plays and break up chances before they even develop. I think he’s been doing a better job of being patient with the puck, waiting for the right opportunities to transition the play rather than forcing things. And on top of all that, he’s been healthy, which is a big part of it.

Kris has always been a competitor, and I think this season you’re seeing him really put it all together—he’s not just contributing offensively, but he’s being a difference-maker in every situation. I can’t speak enough about his leadership, his work ethic, and the way he continues to set the example for the rest of the group. We’re really proud of him, and I know that we’ll continue to lean on him as the season progresses."

 

[SEALBound]

Here is what ChatGPT actually produced in response to a prompt to address Letang's season as Mike Sullivan:

Mike Sullivan (addressing reporters at a press conference):

"First off, I just want to say how pleased we are with Kris' performance so far this season. He's really taken his game to another level, and it's been exciting to watch. Kris has always been an important part of our team, but what we've seen from him recently is a result of a combination of factors—his work ethic, his commitment to getting better, and his ability to adapt his game as he gets older.

He’s playing with a lot of confidence, and he’s really embraced a leadership role on and off the ice. What stands out to me this season is how he’s reading the game. Kris has always been a dynamic player—his offensive instincts are second to none—but what we've seen from him lately is an even greater sense of maturity in how he’s managing his minutes, picking his spots, and making smart decisions in all three zones.

We’ve also seen him evolve in terms of his defensive play. He’s been more responsible in his own end, using his experience to anticipate plays and break up chances before they even develop. I think he’s been doing a better job of being patient with the puck, waiting for the right opportunities to transition the play rather than forcing things. And on top of all that, he’s been healthy, which is a big part of it.

Kris has always been a competitor, and I think this season you’re seeing him really put it all together—he’s not just contributing offensively, but he’s being a difference-maker in every situation. I can’t speak enough about his leadership, his work ethic, and the way he continues to set the example for the rest of the group. We’re really proud of him, and I know that we’ll continue to lean on him as the season progresses."

Mike Sullivan is really good at forming sentences. That is why he is such a successful coach.

 

[Turin]

Sick of seeing Matt Barzal waste away in NYI. Time to unite him with his GOAT and put him on Sid's wing.

 

[Randy Butternubs]

Sick of seeing Matt Barzal waste away in NYI. Time to unite him with his GOAT and put him on Sid's wing.

Him and Kakko.

Because I don't know why.