NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOUR! Part Three!

[mja]

With their next selection in the draft, the NJFZ select, as their Official Team Punching Bag, a man whose qualifications for this position are impeccable. We here at NJFZ headquarters had reservations about this category, for we are not big on gratuitous violence. Whoever we selected needed to be able to withstand the onslaught he is going to face in the Quackverse. He also needed to be deserving of the honor, for we are not about torturing the innocent. Hockey is disastrously stupid, and no person has contributed more to hockey being stupid than this particular individual.

Without further adieu, we select NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman for NJFZ Official Team Punching Bag.



10 picks in 4 hours. See, that's how it's done y'all. @Striiker, @ajgoal, @Chinatown88, @FlyTimmo, & I are the real ones.

@Ghosts Beer is up next, though he said to skip him, so that would mean @BiggE is up.

 

[Chinatown88]

With their next selection in the draft, the NJFZ select, as their Official Team Punching Bag, a man whose qualifications for this position are impeccable. We here at NJFZ headquarters had reservations about this category, for we are not big on gratuitous violence. Whoever we selected needed to be able to withstand the onslaught he is going to face in the Quackverse. He also needed to be deserving of the honor, for we are not about torturing the innocent. Hockey is disastrously stupid, and no person has contributed more to hockey being stupid than this particular individual.

Without further adieu, we select NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman for NJFZ Official Team Punching Bag.



10 picks in 4 hours. See, that's how it's done y'all. @Striiker, @ajgoal, @Chinatown88, @FlyTimmo, & I are the real ones.

@Ghosts Beer is up next, though he said to skip him, so that would mean @BiggE is up.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I'm going to push for one, but I only get my way every other phase.

He’s right you know.

 

[ajgoal]

Joke’s on him. I can make ice whenever I want thanks to Ice-9.

She's also the goddess of death.

 

[BiggE]

If you want to know which idiot hockey player the Jacksonville Methgators are drafting, give me a hell yeah!!

Alright, our newest left wing, grease monkey and serial killer is that Philly piece of trash, Scott Laughton!!

And that’s the bottom line, cause Stone Cold said so!!

 

[Lord Defect]

I’m deeply vexed the Hay-On-Wye Bookworms didn’t choose Dylan Thomas as their play-by-play commentator!

Or Orsen Wells

 

[BiggE]

@FlyerNutter , it’s all you baybee!

 

[Magua]

Or Orsen Wells

He’s not Welsh! Or an author!

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Or Orsen Wells

I like it much better when we don't name names.

 

[Lord Defect]

If anyone else chooses Dylan Thomas for ANYTHING in this mega draft, that person voids their team to me. They’re not suitable for ownership.

I probably would have joined if I knew this was actually going to be maximum chaos and not a simple mock when it started.

I have a category idea by the way! Inspired by the snarky loser who runs the Flyers’ Twitter......Team Social Media Coordinator.

You had your chance to get in on the expansion

 

[Starat327]

@Starat327, come get your boy.

He's your boy while I'm out of town on business.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

He's your boy while I'm out of town on business.

I'm in town on business. Actually, I'm in the middle of nowhere on business. This must be how serial killers feel.

 

[Lord Defect]

He’s not Welsh! Or an author!

Does war of the worlds not count towards him being an author?

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

You had your chance to get in on the expansion

I also respected his wishes of not joining. He’s a coward but not as big of a coward as @Striiker was.

 

[Striiker]

I also respected his wishes of not joining. He’s a coward but not as big of a coward as @Striiker was.

What about respecting my wishes???

And how is he less of a coward when he’s still not participating??????

 

[Lord Defect]

I like it much better when we don't name names.

It doesn’t count, I spelled his first and last name wrong

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

What about respecting my wishes???

And how is he less of a coward when he’s still not participating??????

I agree with HC, you were definitely the biggest coward, and still are, but that's not important anymore. You're happy that you are in it now, right?

 

[Chinatown88]

What about respecting my wishes???

And how is he less of a coward when he’s still not participating??????

Double standards homie.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

What about respecting my wishes???

And how is he less of a coward when he’s still not participating??????

Sometimes children are afraid of things they don’t know or understand so as the adult in the room I had to just push you in and I think I made the right decision and you’re enjoying yourself.

 

[Striiker]

I agree with HC, you were definitely the biggest coward, and still are, but that's not important anymore. You're happy that you are in it now, right?

Of course you agree with him

I hate you both and I hate it here

 

[Lord Defect]

I agree with HC, you were definitely the biggest coward, and still are, but that's not important anymore. You're happy that you are in it now, right?

His happiness doesn’t matter, he’s in it, like it or not

 

[Striiker]

Sometimes children are afraid of things they don’t know or understand so as the adult in the room I had to just push you in and I think I made the right decision and you’re enjoying yourself.

I know you couldn’t possibly be suggesting that you or Cap are the adults here

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I know you couldn’t possibly be suggesting that you or Cap are the adults here

Of course I am.

You see... when you’re young you have the idea that all adults have their lives together and figured out. As you grow up you realize that adults have f*** all figured out and they’re all slowly falling apart.

Sums us up perfectly.

 

[ajgoal]

Sometimes children are afraid of things they don’t know or understand so as the adult in the room I had to just push you in and I think I made the right decision and you’re enjoying yourself.

It's like throwing them into the middle of a lake and then rowing the boat to shore and waiting for them to swim out.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Of course I am.

You see... when you’re young you have the idea that all adults have their lives together and figured out. As you grow up you realize that adults have f*** all figured out and they’re all slowly falling apart.

Sums us up perfectly.

The only thing holding me together is my business acumen. Great post.