NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - MEATY PHASE EIGHTEEN! Part One!

[Lord Defect]

Yeah, a Golden Retriever. Someone stole her out of our yard.

You should have been allowed to murder them that’s horrible

 

[Strawberry Fields]

Our pet peeve is people that don’t like pets/animals. It’s not so much that they bother me it’s that it bothers that they don’t have pets.
As per the QV Twist TM people who don’t like pets should now all have pets.
@JojoTheWhale do you remember your first pet?

 

[mja]

Our pet peeve is people that don’t like pets/animals. It’s not so much that they bother me it’s that it bothers that they don’t have pets.
As per the QV Twist TM people who don’t like pets should now all have pets.
@JojoTheWhale do you remember your first pet?

It doesn’t work this way. If I have to endure pet ownership on Earth Prime, I’m damn sure going to be free of that in the QV. That’s what the QV is for, to escape all of the shit here.

And I remember my first pet, it was a Guinea pig, and it died of neglect. I was 6 and I still remember my dad sitting me and my brother down to break the bad news.

Now imagine 5 year old me at my aunt’s place, just wanting to use the bathroom and instead having to strain my bladder because the meanest damned cat who ever lived guarded the door and it only had one mode: psychopath.

Like I said, mild childhood trauma.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

The time it would take me to do a proper writeup here is flat out embarrassing, so I'm skipping it entirely. I went with the first name that came to mind and was pleasantly surprised to see her still available.

Actress: Frances McDormand

I just want to talk to the Academy members who voted for RANCH in Pollock over McDormand in Almost Famous. I want to know where their lives went wrong so I know what to avoid.

@pit Don't forget to send the extra pic, Whale. You're going to forget. This is your reminder.

 

[DancingPanther]

Yeah, a Golden Retriever. Someone stole her out of our yard.

I will find that person

 

[BiggE]

View attachment 549353

Great pick, especially since I like dogs better than most people! Why?
Dogs have never lied to me
Dogs have never been rude to me
Dogs have never signed Kevin Hayes or traded for Fisto

Dogs rule

 

[Beef Invictus]

Yeah, a Golden Retriever. Someone stole her out of our yard.

Do you want me to serially kill their clan

 

[Lord Defect]

Can I amend my peeve to state that the people that are afraid of pets get the perfect pet so they aren’t afraid anymore? Everyone deserves to know what a good pet is, an extension of your family.

@mja i wasn’t trying to bring back any trauma bud, sorry

The time it would take me to do a proper writeup here is flat out embarrassing, so I'm skipping it entirely. I went with the first name that came to mind and was pleasantly surprised to see her still available.

Actress: Frances McDormand

I just want to talk to the Academy members who voted for RANCH in Pollock over McDormand in Almost Famous. I want to know where their lives went wrong so I know what to avoid.

@pit Don't forget to send the extra pic, Whale. You're going to forget. This is your reminder.

McCauley Culkin is looking rough these days

 

[Strawberry Fields]

Great pick, especially since I like dogs better than most people! Why?
Dogs have never lied to me
Dogs have never been rude to me
Dogs have never signed Kevin Hayes or traded for Fisto

Dogs rule

I especially don't like dogs

 

[BiggE]

I especially don't like dogs

Shame on you

 

[BiggE]

Ozzy can’t understand how anyone couldn’t love her

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Can I amend my peeve to state that the people that are afraid of pets get the perfect pet so they aren’t afraid anymore?

No, f*** off.

 

[Strawberry Fields]

I think one of my least favorite things about dogs (and this is not aimed specifically at BiggE, but a general commentary in general) is not the animal itself, but the near deification of them in modern society- you say you don't like the things and people treat you like a murderous psychopath.

I think dogs are smelly, I hate how they get their hair everywhere and stink up houses. I hate how they lick and slobber all over you if you let yourself get too close. I hate how "hands on" (paws on?) a lot of them are- I don't want anyone or thing invading my personal boundaries, animals included. I don't find them cute. I am uncomfortable around them. This partially stems from an incident where one chased me when I was a kid thinking I wanted to "play" (I did not) but I was leery of them before that even. I hate how blase people are when you are visibly uncomfortable or nervous around their dogs. "He just wants to play!" "Oh, you'd love MY dog!" I do not want to pet or play with your dog. I will not love YOUR dog just because they're YOUR dog. I just want it to stay away from me.

Say you don't like them for any reason and people treat you like a ****ing nut job.

Cartoon dogs, that's different. They're cool.

 

[pit]

I moved to Toronto at the end of 2001. I had lived in other cities before, but never one with an NHL team (insert Leafs joke here). I was now behind enemy lines.

This caused some good ribbing and joking during the regular season for a couple years, but then in 2004 it happened. In the second round of the playoffs the Flyers and Leafs would meet up. The Flyers won the first two games in the series, the Leafs tied the series at home, the Flyers won back in Philly and then it came back to Toronto for an elimination game in Game 6.

My then wife, a Leafs fan (note I said "then wife"), invited some of our friends who also lived in the apartment down the hall to watch the game. The blue and white trash talk level was high. I remained calm and collected.

After goals from Radovan Somik and Jeremy Roenick in the first, the frustrated trio (including my then-wife) fled our apartment and went down the hall to watch in their apartment.

The second stayed quiet.

A goal in the third from the Leafs caused a great deal of yelling. A second five minutes later caused a stampede down the hall followed by more trash talk as they settled back in. I remained placid.

OT began. The chorus of yells when Darcy *ucker laid out Sami Kapanen was deafening. They laughed as he crawled to the bench. Standing, pointing and mocking poor Sami, they hardly noticed Roenick scooping up the puck in the neutral zone. As he hit the Leaf's zone they focused back in just in time to watch the puck sail glove side high on Ed Belfour.

Doors slammed on either side of me as the then-wife shut the bedroom door and friends went down the hall.

I sat there smiling for the rest of the night. That was the first in a string of Leafs playoff losses that has extended for 18 years now.

F*** those guys.

Greatest Game - Flyers/Leafs 2004 Playoffs Finale

@Beef Invictus Roenick the shot he scooooooores.

 

[ajgoal]

Say you don't like them for any reason and people treat you like a ****ing nut job.

Because you are. It's clinical fact.

ETA: seriously though, owners also need to understand that if someone doesn't want to interact with their dog, that's fine. It's not your place to determine someone else's comfort level.

 

[Lord Defect]

Those are shit owners.

I think one of my least favorite things about dogs (and this is not aimed specifically at BiggE, but a general commentary in general) is not the animal itself, but the near deification of them in modern society- you say you don't like the things and people treat you like a murderous psychopath.

I think dogs are smelly, I hate how they get their hair everywhere and stink up houses. I hate how they lick and slobber all over you if you let yourself get too close. I hate how "hands on" (paws on?) a lot of them are- I don't want anyone or thing invading my personal boundaries, animals included. I don't find them cute. I am uncomfortable around them. This partially stems from an incident where one chased me when I was a kid thinking I wanted to "play" (I did not) but I was leery of them before that even. I hate how blase people are when you are visibly uncomfortable or nervous around their dogs. "He just wants to play!" "Oh, you'd love MY dog!" I do not want to pet or play with your dog. I will not love YOUR dog just because they're YOUR dog. I just want it to stay away from me.

Say you don't like them for any reason and people treat you like a ****ing nut job.

Cartoon dogs, that's different. They're cool.

 

[Beef Invictus]

I moved to Toronto at the end of 2001. I had lived in other cities before, but never one with an NHL team (insert Leafs joke here). I was now behind enemy lines.

This caused some good ribbing and joking during the regular season for a couple years, but then in 2004 it happened. In the second round of the playoffs the Flyers and Leafs would meet up. The Flyers won the first two games in the series, the Leafs tied the series at home, the Flyers won back in Philly and then it came back to Toronto for an elimination game in Game 6.

My then wife, a Leafs fan (note I said "then wife"), invited some of our friends who also lived in the apartment down the hall to watch the game. The blue and white trash talk level was high. I remained calm and collected.

After goals from Radovan Somik and Jeremy Roenick in the first, the frustrated trio (including my then-wife) fled our apartment and went down the hall to watch in their apartment.

The second stayed quiet.

A goal in the third from the Leafs caused a great deal of yelling. A second five minutes later caused a stampede down the hall followed by more trash talk as they settled back in. I remained placid.

OT began. The chorus of yells when Darcy *ucker laid out Sami Kapanen was deafening. They laughed as he crawled to the bench. Standing, pointing and mocking poor Sami, they hardly noticed Roenick scooping up the puck in the neutral zone. As he hit the Leaf's zone they focused back in just in time to watch the puck sail glove side high on Ed Belfour.

Doors slammed on either side of me as the then-wife shut the bedroom door and friends went down the hall.

I sat there smiling for the rest of the night. That was the first in a string of Leafs playoff losses that has extended for 18 years now.

F*** those guys.

Greatest Game - Flyers/Leafs 2004 Playoffs Finale

@Beef Invictus Roenick the shot he scooooooores.

That is the most beautiful story ever told. Truly. Affluent Pit! Eloquent Pit! Latex-catsuit wearing Pit!

Such a beautiful story leads perfectly into my pick; the most beautiful niche sport. Nay, the most beautiful sport.

The DC Mutineers now select DARTS



Look at that specimen with the snake painted on his head and the shiny face right from the uncanny valley. Look at the crowd, many in costumes, chanting, cheering. It's everything Euro Football pretends to be, but infinitely better because it's actually entertaining and features sharp objects. The women in the front row are clearly filled with lust for these star athletes. So are the men. Sex is in the air; the building is ripe to bursting with raw procreational energy.

They also have a dude who sometimes announces scores, who looks like he stabs people to death as his main job and sounds like he eats broken glass and dip for every meal. He rules. He fires the crowd right up, especially for a big ONE HUNDRED AND EIGGGHTTTTYYYY.

Shit I forgot to think of a second pick. @Beef Invictus is up and he isn't ready. Gimme a second.

 

[Rebels57]

I think one of my least favorite things about dogs (and this is not aimed specifically at BiggE, but a general commentary in general) is not the animal itself, but the near deification of them in modern society- you say you don't like the things and people treat you like a murderous psychopath.

I think dogs are smelly, I hate how they get their hair everywhere and stink up houses. I hate how they lick and slobber all over you if you let yourself get too close. I hate how "hands on" (paws on?) a lot of them are- I don't want anyone or thing invading my personal boundaries, animals included. I don't find them cute. I am uncomfortable around them. This partially stems from an incident where one chased me when I was a kid thinking I wanted to "play" (I did not) but I was leery of them before that even. I hate how blase people are when you are visibly uncomfortable or nervous around their dogs. "He just wants to play!" "Oh, you'd love MY dog!" I do not want to pet or play with your dog. I will not love YOUR dog just because they're YOUR dog. I just want it to stay away from me.

Say you don't like them for any reason and people treat you like a ****ing nut job.

Cartoon dogs, that's different. They're cool.

Dogs are much better than humans and you are only proving this fact further at the moment lol

 

[Strawberry Fields]

Those are shit owners.

Well it's the significant chunk of the ones I've encountered. If not that a half hearted "down" or "stop" and maybe a snap or two if their hellhound is chasing you or pawing all over you.

The ones walking their dogs on leashes will at least do their best to pull their hellhound in the opposite direction as it desperately tries to break free and bound after you.

The impression I've gotten from the vast majority of dog owners I've encountered is they expect everyone to fawn over their pet like they do.

 

[mja]

I think one of my least favorite things about dogs (and this is not aimed specifically at BiggE, but a general commentary in general) is not the animal itself, but the near deification of them in modern society- you say you don't like the things and people treat you like a murderous psychopath.

I think dogs are smelly, I hate how they get their hair everywhere and stink up houses. I hate how they lick and slobber all over you if you let yourself get too close. I hate how "hands on" (paws on?) a lot of them are- I don't want anyone or thing invading my personal boundaries, animals included. I don't find them cute. I am uncomfortable around them. This partially stems from an incident where one chased me when I was a kid thinking I wanted to "play" (I did not) but I was leery of them before that even. I hate how blase people are when you are visibly uncomfortable or nervous around their dogs. "He just wants to play!" "Oh, you'd love MY dog!" I do not want to pet or play with your dog. I will not love YOUR dog just because they're YOUR dog. I just want it to stay away from me.

Say you don't like them for any reason and people treat you like a ****ing nut job.

Cartoon dogs, that's different. They're cool.

I moved to Toronto at the end of 2001. I had lived in other cities before, but never one with an NHL team (insert Leafs joke here). I was now behind enemy lines.

This caused some good ribbing and joking during the regular season for a couple years, but then in 2004 it happened. In the second round of the playoffs the Flyers and Leafs would meet up. The Flyers won the first two games in the series, the Leafs tied the series at home, the Flyers won back in Philly and then it came back to Toronto for an elimination game in Game 6.

My then wife, a Leafs fan (note I said "then wife"), invited some of our friends who also lived in the apartment down the hall to watch the game. The blue and white trash talk level was high. I remained calm and collected.

After goals from Radovan Somik and Jeremy Roenick in the first, the frustrated trio (including my then-wife) fled our apartment and went down the hall to watch in their apartment.

The second stayed quiet.

A goal in the third from the Leafs caused a great deal of yelling. A second five minutes later caused a stampede down the hall followed by more trash talk as they settled back in. I remained placid.

OT began. The chorus of yells when Darcy *ucker laid out Sami Kapanen was deafening. They laughed as he crawled to the bench. Standing, pointing and mocking poor Sami, they hardly noticed Roenick scooping up the puck in the neutral zone. As he hit the Leaf's zone they focused back in just in time to watch the puck sail glove side high on Ed Belfour.

Doors slammed on either side of me as the then-wife shut the bedroom door and friends went down the hall.

I sat there smiling for the rest of the night. That was the first in a string of Leafs playoff losses that has extended for 18 years now.

F*** those guys.

Greatest Game - Flyers/Leafs 2004 Playoffs Finale

@Beef Invictus Roenick the shot he scooooooores.

That might just be the pick of the phase. That was already a great game, but this story elevates it to an all-timer.

 

[Strawberry Fields]

EDIT: Not worth it

 

[JojoTheWhale]

That is the most beautiful story ever told. Truly. Affluent Pit! Eloquent Pit! Latex-catsuit wearing Pit!

Such a beautiful story leads perfectly into my pick; the most beautiful niche sport. Nay, the most beautiful sport.

The DC Mutineers now select DARTS



Look at that specimen with the snake painted on his head and the shiny face right from the uncanny valley. Look at the crowd, many in costumes, chanting, cheering. It's everything Euro Football pretends to be, but infinitely better because it's actually entertaining and features sharp objects. The women in the front row are clearly filled with lust for these star athletes. So are the men. Sex is in the air; the building is ripe to bursting with raw procreational energy.

They also have a dude who sometimes announces scores, who looks like he stabs people to death as his main job and sounds like he eats broken glass and dip for every meal. He rules. He fires the crowd right up, especially for a big ONE HUNDRED AND EIGGGHTTTTYYYY.

Shit I forgot to think of a second pick. @Beef Invictus is up and he isn't ready. Gimme a second.

I am absolutely attending a darts….whatever….one day. I’ve been trying to organize my London work trips around the World Championships, but it never works out. I assume the general attitude is that if you drink enough, everything makes perfect sense.

 

[Magua]

Sounds like someone needs a small dog who doesn’t shed.

I’ve spent 1.5 months without a dog in 28 years. It was a very empty 1.5 months.

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

I am absolutely attending a darts….whatever….one day. I’ve been trying to organize my London work trips around the World Championships, but it never works out. I assume the general attitude is that if you drink enough, everything makes perfect sense.

Aside from always having a drink in your hand, the only rules are (1) Cheer like mad when someone gets a 180, (2) Wave your arms like the inflatable dancing guy and sing along when someone finishes 501.

Darts is one of the world's best spectator sports.

 

[Beef Invictus]

I am absolutely attending a darts….whatever….one day. I’ve been trying to organize my London work trips around the World Championships, but it never works out. I assume the general attitude is that if you drink enough, everything makes perfect sense.

I think that's absolutely true. It is a pub sport, so I assume the entire thing requires mass inebriation. Otherwise I don't know how the crowds are that wild.

One of my many favorite spots in Blacksburg was/is Rivermill. They had Pint Night every Monday-Weds, 7-9. I'd hit Hammer Time at the Cellar (5 dollar pitchers, 6-7), then venture to Pint Night. I'd demand darts at the bar if I didn't bring my own (yes I had my own you serfs), darts I was not in a state to legally operate, then I'd pound 1 dollar pints (2 for the nice stuff) as fast as I could while darting. We had many a great night doing that. Plus it has a dodgeball element when the darts bounce off the wire and fly straight at your foot. I love darts. I miss having a board.

I also want to go see a darts what-have-you in person someday.