My uncle died unexpectedly in mid January from a heart attack, my wife and I were with him and my aunt just 24 hours before picking out excursions for a cruise we we're going to take together. After seeing him in the hospital (he was braindead but on machines for a few days) I told my wife as we were walking to the car that the whole situation was bullshit. He was a great guy, devoted to family, fishing, and the Browns. Life is cruel is unfair. "To live is to suffer."
This feels sort of like that to me, but way worse, on a human level. My uncle was in his late 50s, nearing retirement and making plans with my aunt, he lived a good life that was taken 20 years too soon. Johnny just turned 31 and had his whole life with his family ahead of him, and to have that ripped away from him is cruel and unfair.
I'm really not good at writing so I'll stop there.