Somebody should probably check on Duane.
You remember Duane, the disgruntled
Buffalo fan who reached his breaking point in January 2020. Frustrated after watching his beloved Sabres spin their wheels on their way to what would be their 10th straight playoff miss, Duane decided he had to do something. So he called into a local radio station, took a deep breath, and then
opened up an emotional vein.
He went in on the players. He went in on management. He went in (especially) on ownership. It was a hard listen, but no real fan could turn away, because we’ve all been there at some point. As I wrote at the time,
we were all Duane.
But some of us were more Duane than others, because some teams are more hopeless than others. And so a few days after Duane’s meltdown, I went through the league to try to figure out
which fan base would be the next to hit rock bottom. And almost five full years later, it’s time to ask that question again.
We can start with some good news. Of the nine teams in that 2020 post, three have been reasonably good in the years since — the
Rangers,
Wild and
Devils haven’t won any Cups, but they’ve all had more ups than downs over the last five years. Sometimes, there really is a reason for hope.
Other teams haven’t been as lucky. So today, we’re going to use the same scoring system as last time to figure out which team’s fans should be closest to a Duane-like nadir. To qualify for consideration, a team has to be in danger of missing the playoffs for at least a third straight season. You wouldn’t think a league with as much parity as the
NHL would have all that many teams on their way to a three-peat, but it’s a longer list than you’d think, with 12 teams in all. It’s a group that doesn’t even include a few fan bases who probably feel pretty miserable right now, including the
Bruins, Rangers,
Islanders and
Predators, since they all made the playoffs last year. All I can say is wait your turn, everyone.
This is always a tricky exercise, since (as you’ll no doubt see in the comments), some fans insist on eternal optimism while others take pride in being as miserable as possible. The reality is that all of these fan bases have it bad. But who’s got it the worst? Let’s start counting down …
1. Buffalo Sabres
Recent history: 10/10. Their last playoff series was in 2011. Since then, they’ve had zero appearances, which matches the number of championships in franchise history. Ah well, at least the franchise player they spent years tanking for became a villain, got traded to an expansion team and immediately won a Cup.
Lack of faith in ownership/management: 9/10. The clock seems to be ticking on Kevyn Adams. As for ownership, the only good thing you can say about Terry Pegula these days is at least the Bills are good.
Future hopelessness: 4/10. Corey had their pipeline just outside the top 10, but the core is young enough that you can find plenty of hope if you squint.
Bonus points: +1. For the fact that they’re hanging right around the playoff bubble so far this season, which would be a good thing for most teams but for the Sabres just makes it feel like Lucy setting up the football for the 14th year in a row.
Tipping point total: 24/30. We’ll end the way we began: Somebody should probably check on Duane.
