GDT: Golden Knights @ Pens, 7pm - Do not win 2 in a row!!!

[Lust for Life]

Lose or I will write a strongly worded post on a message board you will never read.

To the Pittsburgh Penguins Organization,

I am writing to you today as a loyal, passionate, and utterly exasperated fan. A fan who has cheered through the highest of highs, suffered through the lowest of lows, and currently finds themselves in a very peculiar predicament:

I need you to lose.

Not forever, not even for very long—just enough to secure a better draft pick. You see, I, like many rational and forward-thinking fans, have accepted that this season is not the one. And that’s okay! But what’s not okay is watching you all suddenly play like a team fighting for Lord Stanley when we all know the smart play here is to, well... not do that.

You had one job: gracefully embrace the tank. Instead, you’ve decided to win just enough games to land in the dreaded middle ground—too good for a high pick, too bad for a playoff run. Do you like purgatory? Because that’s where we’re heading.

Sid, Geno, Tanger—I love you all. You’ve given me more joy than I deserve as a fan. But I beg you, for the sake of the future, maybe take a few nights off? Accidentally pass the puck to the other team? Let the goalie experiment with new and exciting ways to not stop the puck? These are merely suggestions, but I feel they’re in everyone’s best interest.

In conclusion, please reconsider this whole “winning” thing. It’s very upsetting. I want to be mad at you, but you keep making it hard. You’re playing with my emotions, and frankly, I do not appreciate it.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Penguins Fan Who Is Trying to Think Long-Term

 

[IcedCapp]

You cannot convince me Jarry isn’t doing this shit on purpose.

 

[Pancakes]

You cannot convince me Jarry isn’t doing this shit on purpose.

That vacant eyed smirk of his is going to haunt our dreams of picking 6th overall.

Mfer is gonna carry us to 9th isn't he?

 

[mrzeigler]

Plot twist: Jarry plays lights-out for the rest of the season and is traded to SJS or CHI for their 1st-round pic.

 

[Mr. T]

Did anyone say he wouldn’t net a 1st? I’m more skeptical rust would net a first.

I photoshopped Rust's face onto a picture of peak 80's Rick Rude and faxed it to Guerin

Multiple assets incoming

 

[IcedCapp]

Plot twist: Jarry plays lights-out for the rest of the season and is traded to SJS or CHI for their 1st-round pic.

Im not sure dropping to 10th would be worth jarry recouping his value

 

[Icarium]

How can Vegas's PK be so bad? Maybe we should give them Noel "Awesome penalty killer but not really" Acciari to help them out.

I have embraced the tank but I also can't complain when Sid and Geno play well and the Pens win. I am fickle like that.

How many games do you think it will take for Kolyachonok to learn our defensive system and becomes as clueless in our zone as his teammates? I would say 10 or so.

Why is Bemstrom is even up when he barely plays? The mysteries of Sullivan's mind.

 

[Andy99]

It is just like Jarry to play well when the stakes are low and there’s nothing to play for, and to play like shit when we needed him to win…15 or 16 games at the end of the season isn’t going to recoup his value and get us good trade value for him…start playing Ned or bring Blom back up and start losing again…play Nieto and Aho, I don’t care…we’re in danger of dropping below Philly now in draft order…winning is doing zero!

 

[molon labe]

Im not sure dropping to 10th would be worth jarry recouping his value

My disappointment bar is set at the 7th OA. Anything there or better is great. Lower is big time unfortunate.

I don't care about this years' version of the Shane Wright sweepstakes. Not the draft I'm losing sleep over. This has the makings of a draft where you find some undervalued winger / power forward / or defensive defenseman - not some franchise changing C or top D.

 

[Trade]

So, uh, how soon until we can be mathematically eliminated?

Sid's not easing up until that happens, and even then....

Moneypuck has us at a whopping 0.1% on making the postseason, and 7.6% chance at first overall.

 

[molon labe]

So, uh, how soon until we can be mathematically eliminated?

Sid's not easing up until that happens, and even then....

Moneypuck has us at a whopping 0.1% on making the postseason, and 7.6% chance at first overall.

So many teams sort of suck that it likely comes down to 2 weeks out. I can see the final game determining both WC spots this year.

We have the ability to get 92 points today if we closed 15-0 and the current WC teams are in the 70 point range. So yeah, we basically need to cheer for 5-6 teams to win 10 more games and we're good.