(I guess I felt like writing tonight. Feel free not to read this wall of text but it felt good to type out)
I'm surprised this thread has been dead for so long considering it's part 7 and it was very active before. Anyways, over the years I've posted in these threads a few times about my struggles with my weight. I just couldn't see a way out. I understand for most people, this doesn't make any sense and the first thing that comes to their mind is "just put down the fork and go for a walk, dummy" but it's so much more complicated than that.
18 months ago, in agony, I went to see my doctor. I was not in physical pain mind you, but I was definitely suffering mentally. Decades of lone suffering and self deprecation made me entirely worthless in my own eyes. I was so shut in and unable to express my pain that when the doctor asked me what was wrong all I could do was cry, unable to let the words out. After a very intense and forced conversation (I forced myself. The doctor listened) I managed to let the doctor know how lonely and miserable I was. She recommended I consul a therapist, which I agreed to. About a week later, I had my first appointment with a psychologist. The first few appointments were a week apart and I think for the first 3 or 4 I cried basically the entire time, managing to let more and more details out each time. Thankfully I got much better at it over time and it became easier.
Fast forward about 10 months and I was starting to feel much better. It suddently became clear to me that I was worth saving. I was worth the effort. It wasn't pointless to fix my issues and I deserved just as much as anyone to live a normal and balanced life. I had already done more than I ever thought I would. I was proud of myself. Step 1 had been to gather the courage to schedule an appointment with my doctor. Mission accomplished. Step 2 was the appointment itself. Job well done. Step 3 was to open up. Outstanding work, buddy.
I honestly don't remember what made me decide to get serious about losing weight. I guess I suddently acted instead of just dreaming. I booked another appointment with my Doctor, this time with the intention of asking for help with my weight. Years prior, she had 'wanted' me to get a gastric bypass surgery (or whatever other surgeries exist) and I refused as I thought this was just cheating and a lazy way to fix my issues. This time around, I still wasn't hot on the idea of surgery but somehow I was okay with drugs helping me. Now, lucky for me, I am not diabetic (or even pre-diabetic) so Ozempic was out of the question as I didn't qualify. She prescribed to me a drug called Contrave instead. This drug is quite hardcore and it takes several weeks before you can feel any effect at all. By the end of week 1 all I had was a headache and everyday it just kept getting worse and worse. After a little over 3 weeks I had been dealing with what had become full on migraines (I had never had these before or since) and so I went to get my blood pressure tested to make sure I wasn't killing myself. It was way too high for my liking and I stopped taking the drug. A few days later I saw my doctor again and told her about my side effects. She agreed with my decision to stop taking Contrave but said that the good news is that I was now qualified to try Ozempic. Yes this is an Ozempic story. Yes it's kinda cheating. Yes, it works. Holy shit does it work.
I have been taking Ozempic for 8 months now. The first 2 months is mostly about ramping up the dose with little to no effect but it still worked because I was in a better headspace and was starting to naturally make changes to my habits. I was losing weight slowly but steadily. After 8 weeks I had begun taking the full dose and that's when the side effects kicked in. Unfortunately I had to deal with major gastric reflux. It was so prevalent that my oesophagus was basically being digested as it's just not able to cope with the stomach acid. I had to see my doctor again and she said my oesophagus had a pretty bad infection, which explained the weird tightening sensation and the god awful sulfur burps (those were GROSS). Thankfuly I now have a pill to manage that and it works.
Something strange about Ozempic is the way it slowly helps you change your relationship with food and eating. I can't eat as much food in a single sitting anymore but this isn't the number one reason why I'm losing weight. The biggest change is how I can now... stop. I don't have to finish my plate anymore. "Thanks" to my reflux issues, I've made myself feel like shit so many times that I've become accustomed to stopping and enjoying feeling normal after eating instead of enjoying feeling FULL. I've replaced my guilt of wasting food by the pride of self control and it's awesome. While my weight loss is nothing spectacular compared to most internet stories, it is spectacular to me as I can actually FEEL and SEE it.
The biggest number I saw on the scale before I started this journey was 356lb. I have no doubt I was way over 360lb at some point in the past.
As I'm typing this, I weigh about 315lb.
I have yet to exercise and I don't eat extremely healthy either. I just control myself when it comes to portion. I want to change my habbits one at a time. Changing everything at once is a recipe for failure and I have no intentions of doing that.
My goal is to reach 299lb doing exactly what I'm doing. Then I want to do something I've missed doing for years; play badminton again. The last time I played was 6 or 7 years ago and my body was not happy lol. I want to play again when I'm lighter on my feet. Speaking of which, I bought a condo and move very recently and the few days of moving/cleaning/painting were very intense but towards the end, I was pleasantly surprised to feel stronger and lighter than I had in years. Hell, towards the end, I was climbing stairs 2 at a time while 'running' like I did in my teens. It felt natural back then and it was feeling good again.
At this point I still take Ozempic but I honestly believe I'd be okay without it. I've tasted the fruit of progress both on the scale and in real life as well. People are starting to notice the change and so am I. I think I'm turning into a decent looking guy for my late 30's and this is a good feeling.
There was no reason for me to type all of this today and I doubt anyone reads the entire thing but if you're struggling like I have been, just take the first step, whatever it is.
just
do
it
shia-laboeuf.gif --- © Nike corporation
my body chem is probably what changed the most - it’s full circle too, because as your body gets more efficient, and you eat well and drink tons of water your gut also becomes so efficient - I keep reading that’s where almost all serotonin is processed. Bad gut = real hard to fight depression.
