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OT: Career advice

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You can’t put a price on your mental health, man. If you’re unhappy and not healthy, money doesn’t mean a thing.

I’ve found that the work is work. What makes a good place is the people. Your coworkers are make or break. You don’t have to be best friends, but if it’s a positive environment with genuine people, It’s all good. I’ve done boring jobs i loved bc I was on a great team. And vice versa.

Side note - i moved out of white plains a few years ago, but anytime I’m in town I have to pop in for a pint at Dunnes. Best pint of Guinness around.
 
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Skjeikspeare said:
So checking in because I barely have time to post anymore and a dilemma. It's been about six months at my new job and I absolutely hate it. To the point where I dread Sunday nights and the best part of my work week is the morning naps. It's a very good reputable company and in a lot of ways I've finally "made it" after working for smaller companies the last decade plus. I don't fit in culturally, my manager who hired me has no time for me anymore and has a very short temper, (think of an AV style of delegation with Tortorella's attitude) and I get routinely made to look like a goober at meetings and in social situations. This is not a cry for help or me complaining, I believe all of us whether on this board, real life, etc. you shouldn't have to eat crap and take it everyday.

I had a chance about a week in to go back to my old company where the pay wasn't as good but I never minded being there and even working on weekends because they trusted me to do a good job and I could talk to anyone at any point and learn. My current manager pleaded with me not to leave and rather than follow my gut that something was wrong with this situation, I decided to keep with it and swing big. Bad choice.

I've went from wanting to stay for two years for the benefit match to fully accrue to one year just to have it on my resume to pretty much wanting to go in and quit on the spot. Obviously I'm not going to do that. If they can me or if I get to the point where I casually tell my manager off forcing them to get rid of me, so be it. The hours are long and while that's fine my health and mood have greatly suffered. It's either wake up at 4AM to go to the gym or only go at most 3 times a week if I'm lucky. Sundays are usually spent sleeping and recovering from all the BS and scolding.

I've moved around a lot over the last few years after having a very stable work life and being at a company for fairly long time so it looks a little weird. I have friends who own companies and will help me fix the appearance of being a "journeyman" the last two years. I've reached out to friends in markets outside of New York.

I'm writing this very personal information here for three reasons. The first is to hear people's opinions of the situation good or bad. If you're gonna blast me and call me spoiled and entitled, that's ok. I'm curious if anyone has ever been in a situation like this where they left a decent job to follow the money/reputation and after a short time realized it's not right. The second is this is a cautionary tale to anyone. Follow your gut. If you sense something isn't right, sometimes money isn't everything but sanity and not feeling miserable is. And the third is because I truly do miss posting here as much as I used to and while not everyone agrees with my opinions or even answers my content and I'll never win most popular poster (I'm a misfit I was born one and that's who I will be as long as I'm around) I know career comes first, family and health and everything else before HFBoards lol, but it's just an example of how important this place is and something as little as arguing about Pionk being unavailable is part of losing some of your happiness.
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First of all Pionk is garbage and we should move him ASAP. Lol

But seriously if you do not enjoy the new place, do not work there. Life is short, enjoy it.
 
Skjeikspeare said:
So checking in because I barely have time to post anymore and a dilemma. It's been about six months at my new job and I absolutely hate it. To the point where I dread Sunday nights and the best part of my work week is the morning naps. It's a very good reputable company and in a lot of ways I've finally "made it" after working for smaller companies the last decade plus. I don't fit in culturally, my manager who hired me has no time for me anymore and has a very short temper, (think of an AV style of delegation with Tortorella's attitude) and I get routinely made to look like a goober at meetings and in social situations. This is not a cry for help or me complaining, I believe all of us whether on this board, real life, etc. you shouldn't have to eat crap and take it everyday.

I had a chance about a week in to go back to my old company where the pay wasn't as good but I never minded being there and even working on weekends because they trusted me to do a good job and I could talk to anyone at any point and learn. My current manager pleaded with me not to leave and rather than follow my gut that something was wrong with this situation, I decided to keep with it and swing big. Bad choice.

I've went from wanting to stay for two years for the benefit match to fully accrue to one year just to have it on my resume to pretty much wanting to go in and quit on the spot. Obviously I'm not going to do that. If they can me or if I get to the point where I casually tell my manager off forcing them to get rid of me, so be it. The hours are long and while that's fine my health and mood have greatly suffered. It's either wake up at 4AM to go to the gym or only go at most 3 times a week if I'm lucky. Sundays are usually spent sleeping and recovering from all the BS and scolding.

I've moved around a lot over the last few years after having a very stable work life and being at a company for fairly long time so it looks a little weird. I have friends who own companies and will help me fix the appearance of being a "journeyman" the last two years. I've reached out to friends in markets outside of New York.

I'm writing this very personal information here for three reasons. The first is to hear people's opinions of the situation good or bad. If you're gonna blast me and call me spoiled and entitled, that's ok. I'm curious if anyone has ever been in a situation like this where they left a decent job to follow the money/reputation and after a short time realized it's not right. The second is this is a cautionary tale to anyone. Follow your gut. If you sense something isn't right, sometimes money isn't everything but sanity and not feeling miserable is. And the third is because I truly do miss posting here as much as I used to and while not everyone agrees with my opinions or even answers my content and I'll never win most popular poster (I'm a misfit I was born one and that's who I will be as long as I'm around) I know career comes first, family and health and everything else before HFBoards lol, but it's just an example of how important this place is and something as little as arguing about Pionk being unavailable is part of losing some of your happiness.
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I was in a similar place to where you were last year. For a little different reasons but obviously circumstances never match up exactly. I got a job due to a connection as a project manager at a fortune 100 utility company. I was in WAY over my head. I knew nothing about IT, utilities, or project management. I was supposed to manage people with 30 years of experience when I had 0. I was miserable every day and thought about work 24/7. Friday night was god-sent, but as soon as I woke up Sunday I was miserable. Mondays were absolutely hell. I was always depressed. I came to my boss's office and sort of quit. He convinced me to stick around. I did and added another important bulletpoint to my resume where I managed the receipt of the equipment. I was then almost let go, but the finance team let me join them. I was glad to have the 1 year on the resume and have it look much better than if I quit after 3 months. I also learned some good skills. My resume was still not great and I had a hard time finding interviews. So maybe me staying there didn't improve anything anyway. But still see if you can change teams or something. Don 't quit before that. But if you're always depressed and just want to leave it might be best to quit, your mental health is too important.
 
Amazing Kreiderman said:
Not sure where else to put this, but maybe here I can get some help.

Is there anyone here who is savvy with Photoshop? I need to isolate some players from on-ice photos but my Photoshop skills aren't nearly as advanced as they need to be to get it done without it looking like ****.
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Hey, so I just saw this by clicking the wrong thread on my phone, but I’m pretty good with photoshop and could definitely do this for you if you’re still in need.
 
Before considering a change due to stress or general dissatisfaction, it may be worth exploring therapy. Some people (myself included) will find ways to feel stressed no matter the job or pay.
 
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I'm up to around 1.5 years of "industry experience" Is there a best time to move on from a job and location? Should i stick it out to get a full 2years + experience in finance?
 
The idea that you're "entitled" or "spoiled" because you don't enjoy being treated like shit at a meaningless waste of life career is absolute bunk. Your shit boss needs you. You don't need him.

Crease said:
Before considering a change due to stress or general dissatisfaction, it may be worth exploring therapy. Some people (myself included) will find ways to feel stressed no matter the job or pay.
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Valid as f***. Work sucks across the board and there's no way to make it /not/ work, but you can very well be making it worse than it needs to be. This is a great point.
 
Raspewtin said:
The idea that you're "entitled" or "spoiled" because you don't enjoy being treated like **** at a meaningless waste of life career is absolute bunk. Your **** boss needs you. You don't need him.




Valid as ****. Work sucks across the board and there's no way to make it /not/ work, but you can very well be making it worse than it needs to be. This is a great point.
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I don't think work HAS to suck, though it's rare you find a job that checks off every box and every job has its unenjoyable parts.
 
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Crease said:
Before considering a change due to stress or general dissatisfaction, it may be worth exploring therapy. Some people (myself included) will find ways to feel stressed no matter the job or pay.
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Or just have a child. It's my Stress Relativity Theory.

There's only so many Fs you have to give. When I was single, I gave them all to my employer.

Now as a married man with an infant, I've nearly out of all Fs when I walk into that office
 
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East Coast Bias said:
Or just have a child. It's my Stress Relativity Theory.

There's only so many Fs you have to give. When I was single, I gave them all to my employer.

Now as a married man with an infant, I've nearly out of all Fs when I walk into that office
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Along these same lines, a co-worker explained to me how important it is to establish a healthy baseline for stress. When he finds himself stressed (at work or otherwise), he has a conversation with himself: "Okay, is anyone severely hurt or dying? No? Okay, this is small and not worth stress. Now let's tackle the problem." I find this helps me too.
 
Crease said:
Along these same lines, a co-worker explained to me how important it is to establish a healthy baseline for stress. When he finds himself stressed (at work or otherwise), he has a conversation with himself: "Okay, is anyone severely hurt or dying? No? Okay, this is small and not worth stress. Now let's tackle the problem." I find this helps me too.
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Well then no one in business and other such fields should ever be stressed then.
 
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@East Coast Bias @SnowblindNYR @Vinny DeAngelo @Crease @Raspewtin Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I agree work doesn't and shouldn't be making you miserable. I left a very small company that I worked very hard for to go to this place for the dough and that job certainly did not cause me to need therapy. My manager is a pure lunatic. Even today I was belittled in a team meeting. She's an angry little Napoleon delegator. She is nice only to the people who benefit her career. I'm going to eat crap for a little while longer and I've been there for six months, but my resume will be updated by the end of this week. I would like to get a few more paychecks but at any given point I may just decide to give notice. Week by week. It sucks it's ultimately going to lose a connection but if you treat people like crap, that's what happens. I will be the third person to leave her team in less than a year.
 
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Crease said:
Before considering a change due to stress or general dissatisfaction, it may be worth exploring therapy. Some people (myself included) will find ways to feel stressed no matter the job or pay.
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Different kinds of stress. No one is immune to stress. It's when you're going to get belittled or treated poorly by someone and embarrassed that is the most stressful. I've become a pretty easy going guy, it took me a very long time.

I think one of the problems with New Yorkers and I say this because I've spent most of my life in that state is everyone is too serious and high strung and they wear it as a badge of honor. I can't stand the 14 hour days and live to work aesthetic. I get it, you have to work hard but when it compromises peoples' well being, c'mon.
 
Skjeikspeare said:
@East Coast Bias @SnowblindNYR @Vinny DeAngelo @Crease @Raspewtin Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I agree work doesn't and shouldn't be making you miserable. I left a very small company that I worked very hard for to go to this place for the dough and that job certainly did not cause me to need therapy. My manager is a pure lunatic. Even today I was belittled in a team meeting. She's an angry little Napoleon delegator. She is nice only to the people who benefit her career. I'm going to eat crap for a little while longer and I've been there for six months, but my resume will be updated by the end of this week. I would like to get a few more paychecks but at any given point I may just decide to give notice. Week by week. It sucks it's ultimately going to lose a connection but if you treat people like crap, that's what happens. I will be the third person to leave her team in less than a year.
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The thing is, at the job that I mentioned overall I liked who worked for and while I didn't love my boss he was ok most of the time. He did tell me once to read a book on project management insinuating I had no idea what it was (I didn't) and another time that people have lost their faith my abilities. But anyway, if I really hated my boss I don't know how I would have survived. It's quite the pickle. I don't think I ever had a truly terrible boss. I had one that wasn't great but usually left me alone.
 
SnowblindNYR said:
The thing is, at the job that I mentioned overall I liked who worked for and while I didn't love my boss he was ok most of the time. He did tell me once to read a book on project management insinuating I had no idea what it was (I didn't) and another time that people have lost their faith my abilities. But anyway, if I really hated my boss I don't know how I would have survived. It's quite the pickle. I don't think I ever had a truly terrible boss. I had one that wasn't great but usually left me alone.
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I've had some pretty awful bosses over the years. The company I was at the longest (from my early 20s until mid-30s) I actually outlasted two of my bosses who played politics and threw people under the bus and sided with partners who eventually retired. That was their undoing. I was a manager there for most of my tenure so it was funny outlasting them. The good boss was promoted after a year.

When I went back to school I worked for a startup and an absolute maniac who would respond to every email if he didn't like something in a derogatory way. He would call his overseas staff lazy and pathetic frequently through email. He's one of those people who only sleep for three hours and just work constantly.

The job I left to take this gig I got along with the owners very well. They were a little hurt I left and rightfully so. It bummed me out. I also temped two years ago in NYC and the manager there was great. We're actually friends on Facebook. Loved that place in Flatiron and the culture was wonderful but a perm job wasn't aligned with me finishing school in time. Many of the people I worked with there have moved on.

But this one takes the cake. She is an absolute maniac and is going to cause me to leave sooner rather than later.
 
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So I might have somewhat of a chance to have a mulligan at this business school job thing. I never really had one despite graduating from a pretty good school. My friend seems likely to get a management consulting role and he said that once he's been there a bit he'll try to get me in.

Well, I'm counting my chickens before they hatch but here are the pros and cons.

Pros:

Money - I will probably make 6 figures comfortably. By business school standards it would be significantly higher than $100k, though I'm not sure. I'm making much less now.

Interesting projects - I feel like I may be on interesting projects and that's very important for interest sake and career progression.

Good exit opportunities - I always know consulting to have good exit opps, though this isn't some uber-prestigious consulting job. I know a few people that had trouble finding jobs post-consulting.

Get to travel/new projects - Some variety might make life more interesting.

Lots of teamwork - I heard that's a big part of it and I love that.

Personal growth - I think that a job like this could mature me, I'm 32 and I still need it.

Prove that I could do it – I’ve felt like I was worse than my classmates for a while now, I want to prove to myself that I can do what they do.

Status - If I'm being 100% honest, status matters to me. This isn't McKinsey, but still a relatively high status job.

This is what I went to business school for - It's a prototypical business school job. I recently talked to a Marine and he said that they want to go to war because that’s what they train for. This is kind of how I feel with this.

Cons:

Stress – I can’t (no pun intended) stress this enough. I had so much stress at my old job and hated it every day. My life was miserable. I worry about getting something similar but worse, with travel!

Travel – This is somewhat of a positive, but more of a negative. I get tired traveling and I don’t want to wake up 5 o’clock in the morning every Monday to go to the airport and fly. Imagine if I hate my job that would be hell. (I will say I could get staffed in NY).

Diet – The last 9 months I transformed my eating habits and eat low carb (some might say too low). I worry that travelling 4 days a week would result in my eating habits going to shit and me gaining a ton of weight. This is a serious concern.

Difficulty with relationships – I’m 32 at some point I need to get married and have a kid, I don’t want to travel all the f***ing time.

Additional - I'll be foregoing equity in my current company but I don't know how much and whether it's worth worrying about.

What do you guys think does this sound like it’s worth it?
 
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Take a step back and reread your post. It's obvious what you want. One side of the ledger has concrete things that you value, and the other has fears.
 
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If you can get it, do it for a few years.

I’ve worked with a ton of consultants from the bigger companies (Accenture, Deloitte) to smaller. Build some relationships. The people that love the life are still in consulting. The ones that were younger and wanted stability all moved on to companies they had worked at. It’s very common.
 
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East Coast Bias said:
If you can get it, do it for a few years.

I’ve worked with a ton of consultants from the bigger companies (Accenture, Deloitte) to smaller. Build some relationships. The people that love the life are still in consulting. The ones that were younger and wanted stability all moved on to companies they had worked at. It’s very common.
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Thanks for the advice, that's the thing I don't have to do that forever.
 
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