Also...I hate to get personal with this...but the whole thing - every drunk driving casualty - reminds me of my friend's death. Like Johnny Hockey and Matthew, like Khyree Jackson (Vikings rookie cornerback), Isaiah Hazel, and Anthony Lytton Jr. (Khyree's two young friends), like so many victims of drunk drivers...Rae did nothing wrong.
As a matter of fact, Rae only ever did the right thing. She was a mother of three young children, and when I was an asshole as a teenager (and yeah, I'm ashamed of a lot of the things I did as an asshole teen) on Fanfiction.net, my first real social site, she was patient with me, tried to help me out and see what I was too blind to see at the time, tried to shine a positive ray of light on everyone, no matter who they were.
And all of it...taken away cruelly by a bastard who had multiple DUIs, was driving hammered on a suspended license, ran a red light, and hit her car dead on. Three children no longer had their Mom. Her family no longer had their daughter. Her friends could never talk to her again. And the worst part was that that...monster was never convicted. Released on a technicality from what I heard.
Rae's death...broke me. She was the first close friend I ever lost to death in my life other than my dog, and to say it hurt barely scratches the surface - and I know my pain is nothing compared to how her family felt. I was bawling in my dad's arms the second after I heard the news. Honestly, her death may have even driven me to do worse things online than I already did, now that I didn't have anyone being patient with me and telling me what I was doing was wrong and how to better myself in a positive, non-judgmental way.
I can't take back those things. I can't tell Rae or anyone else I hurt how sorry I truly am. But I can honor her memory. Part of that? Talk about how drunk driving ruins lives on every thread of drunk driving, hoping that anyone who thinks that it's not a big deal...can see how much it hurts. Part of that? Tell people how good a person she was, how I am trying, trying, trying to live up to her standards, no matter how impossible it may seem. Never forget her name, her words, her kindness.
That's why I've reacted the way I have on those various threads about drunk driving, about players, coaches, managers, all sorts of people who have drunk driving on their record. There are millions of people in this country who have been and will be affected by some f***stick who decides that driving drunk is worth any consequences that might - or might not - be dealt out to others. Drunk drivers aren't immune to their own f***ups either; just ask Josh Hancock or Oscar Taveras or the hundreds of drunk drivers who kill themselves on the road.
Just...I'm sorry for rambling.