OT: 113th Obsequious Banter Thread: 1 of 13, a baker's dozen

[Flybynite]

Speechless....

Photos: Meet The Canadian Hockey Goalie Who's Making Headlines​

MSN

www.msn.com

Hope that headline doesn't lead to a Carter Hart story in the very near future.

 

[DancingPanther]

There was a butterfly. On the window. The dogs were.... perturbed

Brutus mid bark both times. Comin in hot. Snoop, as always, the investigator

 

[Lotusflower]

Don't know if anyone else here subscribes to The NY Times, and if you do, it might not matter too much since you would have a subscription to the Athletic as part of your Times subscription, but this is pretty shocking all the same.

Not shocking.
They eliminated the sports section during the pandemic and since then its been relegated to the back of the current events anyway.

 

[Flybynite]

 

[Beef Invictus]

Well how is he gonna watch TV now

 

[Lord Defect]

How the hell did he get the window open?

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

How the hell did he get the window open?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that he threw something at it…

 

[Cody Webster]

I played for 20 years. Almost a year after I stopped, I got a call from someone who needed a player for a rec level team. Had a solid game at 2nd base, and hit the ball well. Felt great, until I tried to get out of bed the next morning, and I emphasize "tried."

Don't feel too bad today. The only issue I had was while I was stretching pre-game, my knee, or some joint around my knee locked up and then popped. I'm not sure what causes it, but it's happened infrequently for as long as I can remember. That was pretty sore when I got into bed last night and this morning, but that was the only damage.

 

[Lord Defect]

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that he threw something at it…

He probably shouldn’t do that

 

[Jack Straw]

I just had a very bizarre experience. There were several small birds, I think at least three, that were trying to get into my kitchen. (Holy shit, and now one is trying to get into my office upstairs). They were (are) literally flying against the windows, the kitchen windows were open with screens the window here in the office is closed and the bird is just fluttering against the glass. Why the hell are they trying to get in here? They're not flying into the windows and crashing, they're right up against the windows and screens and trying to fly through them, kind of like insects do.

Maybe it's revenge. My husky unfortunately killed a baby bird that fell out of its nest in the back yard a couple days ago. Are they after her? I feel like I'm in a Hitchcock film.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

@Striiker, you got this one?

 

[trostol]

bet he asked for a liter of cola and only got a large Farva

 

[landsbergfan]

Extreme cord cutting

 

[Lord Defect]

I just had a very bizarre experience. There were several small birds, I think at least three, that were trying to get into my kitchen. (Holy shit, and now one is trying to get into my office upstairs). They were (are) literally flying against the windows, the kitchen windows were open with screens the window here in the office is closed and the bird is just fluttering against the glass. Why the hell are they trying to get in here? They're not flying into the windows and crashing, they're right up against the windows and screens and trying to fly through them, kind of like insects do.

Maybe it's revenge. My husky unfortunately killed a baby bird that fell out of its nest in the back yard a couple days ago. Are they after her? I feel like I'm in a Hitchcock film.

View attachment 728159

I’m pretty sure Hitchcock wrote a movie about this.

 

[Embiid]

Well how is he gonna watch TV now

It's not even hockey season for the Flyers...

I just had a very bizarre experience. There were several small birds, I think at least three, that were trying to get into my kitchen. (Holy shit, and now one is trying to get into my office upstairs). They were (are) literally flying against the windows, the kitchen windows were open with screens the window here in the office is closed and the bird is just fluttering against the glass. Why the hell are they trying to get in here? They're not flying into the windows and crashing, they're right up against the windows and screens and trying to fly through them, kind of like insects do.

Maybe it's revenge. My husky unfortunately killed a baby bird that fell out of its nest in the back yard a couple days ago. Are they after her? I feel like I'm in a Hitchcock film.

View attachment 728159

Well hopefully it is not a harbinger of death....

 

[Chinatown88]

I just had a very bizarre experience. There were several small birds, I think at least three, that were trying to get into my kitchen. (Holy shit, and now one is trying to get into my office upstairs). They were (are) literally flying against the windows, the kitchen windows were open with screens the window here in the office is closed and the bird is just fluttering against the glass. Why the hell are they trying to get in here? They're not flying into the windows and crashing, they're right up against the windows and screens and trying to fly through them, kind of like insects do.

Maybe it's revenge. My husky unfortunately killed a baby bird that fell out of its nest in the back yard a couple days ago. Are they after her? I feel like I'm in a Hitchcock film.

View attachment 728159

@Striiker the government is after him.

 

[Lord Defect]

I just had a very bizarre experience. There were several small birds, I think at least three, that were trying to get into my kitchen. (Holy shit, and now one is trying to get into my office upstairs). They were (are) literally flying against the windows, the kitchen windows were open with screens the window here in the office is closed and the bird is just fluttering against the glass. Why the hell are they trying to get in here? They're not flying into the windows and crashing, they're right up against the windows and screens and trying to fly through them, kind of like insects do.

Maybe it's revenge. My husky unfortunately killed a baby bird that fell out of its nest in the back yard a couple days ago. Are they after her? I feel like I'm in a Hitchcock film.

View attachment 728159

they’re trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty

 

[Striiker]

I just had a very bizarre experience. There were several small birds, I think at least three, that were trying to get into my kitchen. (Holy shit, and now one is trying to get into my office upstairs). They were (are) literally flying against the windows, the kitchen windows were open with screens the window here in the office is closed and the bird is just fluttering against the glass. Why the hell are they trying to get in here? They're not flying into the windows and crashing, they're right up against the windows and screens and trying to fly through them, kind of like insects do.

Maybe it's revenge. My husky unfortunately killed a baby bird that fell out of its nest in the back yard a couple days ago. Are they after her? I feel like I'm in a Hitchcock film.

View attachment 728159

OH F***

THE GOVERNMENT DRONES ARE TRYING TO TAKE YOU OUT

WHAT DID YOU DO

 

[Jack Straw]

@Striiker the government is after him.

But I work for the government! Oh wait…

*thinks about that movie Three Days of the Condor*

 

[Embiid]

So the Ministry of Plenty says that inflation has eased hence the stock market rally today. Funny how they exclude food and energy from the CPI. Guess we don't eat or use A/C in our homes on 94 degree days...

 

[Kermit the Prog]

Transcribe the lyrics to Stairway to Heaven in Snoop Dog style (ChatGPT)

(Verse 1) Now listen up, y'all, 'bout a tale so grand, 'Bout a stairway to heaven, in a distant land. We gon' take it slow, 'cause we got the time, To tell a story 'bout this stairway, so divine.

(Chorus) Climbin' up the staircase, on cloud number nine, Gonna reach the heavens, gotta stay on the grind. Stairway to heaven, where the angels reside, Snoop Dog gonna take you on this heavenly ride.

(Verse 2) I said, "Hey, Mr. Guitarist, won't you strum them strings? Let's create a melody that makes my soul sing." And the drums start bangin', that rhythm so tight, We gon' make this stairway feel outta sight.

(Chorus) Climbin' up the staircase, on cloud number nine, Gonna reach the heavens, gotta stay on the grind. Stairway to heaven, where the angels reside, Snoop Dog gonna take you on this heavenly ride.

(Verse 3) Now, as we ascend, gotta keep our heads high, Through the pearly gates, we gonna touch the sky. Gonna groove with the angels, kick back and relax, Sippin' on some gin and juice, layin' down the tracks.

(Chorus) Climbin' up the staircase, on cloud number nine, Gonna reach the heavens, gotta stay on the grind. Stairway to heaven, where the angels reside, Snoop Dog gonna take you on this heavenly ride.

(Bridge) So let's light one up, let the smoke fill the air, We're takin' this stairway, we don't have a care. Heaven's gonna welcome us with open arms, Snoop Dog gonna charm 'em with his lyrical charms.

(Chorus) Climbin' up the staircase, on cloud number nine, Gonna reach the heavens, gotta stay on the grind. Stairway to heaven, where the angels reside, Snoop Dog gonna take you on this heavenly ride.

(Outro) So keep on groovin', keep the music alive, With Snoop Dog by your side, you gonna thrive. Stairway to heaven, we gon' make it there, Snoop Dog gonna take you everywhere.



Ok, now I'm afraid.

 

[swami24]

For some reason, I can only read that to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song.

 

[Lord Defect]

 

[Flybynite]

https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/12/us/florida-ocean-heat-coral-bleaching-climate/index.html

A sudden marine heat wave off the coast of Florida has surprised scientists and sent water temperatures soaring to unprecedented highs, threatening one of the most severe coral bleaching events the state has ever seen.

Sea surface temperatures around Florida have reached the highest levels on record since satellites began collecting ocean data. And the warming is happening much earlier than normal – yet another example of ocean heat being amplified by the human-caused climate crisis and the extreme weather it brings.

This is the highest temperature for the water since it has been recorded daily since 1985. The ocean temperatures are said to peak in August so it may even get worse.

Just more signs of the impending doom for coral reefs in oceans over the next half century. Coral reefs being wiped severely would impact marine life ecosystems near the coasts as well as likely lead to more flooding because of the protection they provide.

No shock that Farmers Insurance today announced they are ending all insurance in Florida. No more home, cars, boats, whatever. Insurance premiums in Florida are skyrocketing and more and more insurance companies continue to pull out.

 

[Surrounded By Ahos]

Loose lips sink the ship's skip.