Woodpecker troubles

[BigMac1212]

I had a woodpecker (I affectionately nickname him Woody) that's pecking at my house on and off. My mother told me today that a hole appeared today that's really big. Think Oregon's "O" hand signal. If you know any HUMANE ways to get rid of this flying menace, please let me know.

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[Finnish your Czech]

Taking action to remove the food your home is providing is the first step to getting rid of woodpeckers. Go to your attic or the area of your house closest to where the woodpecker has been pecking. Look for dead insects lying on the windowsills and in corners. Check for bees' nests in the rafters.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Burn down the house.

 

[Jacques The Mayor]

Hawk urine

 

[HansonBro]

Buy him a Big Mac

But seriously, maybe you have an ant problem or something of the sort

 

[HansonBro]

LOL the ops name is bigmac! I seriously didn't *** know till after

 

[VoluntaryDom]

put your pecker in the hole

jk just burn your house down

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Fire a pellet gun at the little *******

 

[John Price]

Tss if you got woodpecker troubles you need viagra or sumptin

 

[Baby Punisher]

Those guys can do some damage. I had one peck a bunch of tiny dents in my car a few years ago.

 

[Mantis]

Those guys can do some damage. I had one peck a bunch of tiny dents in my car a few years ago.

Was it a wooden car?

 

[Farnham4top6]

Cats are usually good at eating woodpeckers

 

[Baby Punisher]

Was it a wooden car?

No, it was a Cadillac.

 

[cjerina]

Someone I knew hung like a motion-activated mechanical spider or bat that helped scare away woodpeckers.

 

[MrFunnyWobbl]

I know a guy, he's an expert in Bird Law.

 

[beowulf]

 

[VoluntaryDom]

I know a guy, he's an expert in Bird Law.

Charlie, right?

 

[KareemTrustfund]

I had a woodpecker (I affectionately nickname him Woody) that's pecking at my house on and off. My mother told me today that a hole appeared today that's really big. Think Oregon's "O" hand signal. If you know any HUMANE ways to get rid of this flying menace, please let me know.

Plan 1- If you already gave it a name, I doubt your going to want to go through with my first idea, which was beating the **** out if it with your bare hands.

Plan 2- You could set a trap, like maybe digging a pitfall by your house and then covering it with leaves and sticks. One false step and BAM, the leaves and sticks give way, and the bird is left immobilized yet unharmed at the bottom of a hole.

Plan 3- Another idea I had was wait until it lands on your house, and sneak up behind it. (like really be sneaky, pretend your one of those cartoon villans with a crooked mustache sneaky) When you get behind it, breath on the back of its neck and maybe lick it. The bird will be perplexed to say the least. It will almost certainly turn around to investigate this unusual sensation only to see your (ugly?) or (hot?) face right behind it. It will take approx 5 seconds for the bird to process whether its aroused or appalled at your face. This is where you grab it by the throat and beat the **** out of it with your bare hands.

Bird problem, el solveo

 

[BigMac1212]

Burn down the house.

 

[BigMac1212]

Taking action to remove the food your home is providing is the first step to getting rid of woodpeckers. Go to your attic or the area of your house closest to where the woodpecker has been pecking. Look for dead insects lying on the windowsills and in corners. Check for bees' nests in the rafters.

Thanks for the info. I will tell dad this.

 

[Baby Punisher]

Burn down the house.

It's not a spider.

 

[BigMac1212]

It's not a spider.

You can never be too careful with Woody on the loose.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

You can never be too careful with Woody on the loose.

This.

He might fly into the house and peck ya a homemade lobotomy while you sleep or something.

 

[RabidBadger]

Switch to aluminum siding. That'll learn him.

 

[tarheelhockey]

If a woodpecker's going that crazy on a particular spot, it might be a good idea to check for termites.