Useless Thread MCMXCVIII: Marvel Rivals™ Awareness Thread
- Thread starter John Price
- Start date
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
Vegas Pauly C talks shit online about Resorts World for months, and is shocked when they tell him they don’t want him on their property.
ye
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
PanthersPens62
Paul & Stanley
And the same to you !!!!!
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
Sega Dreamcast
party like it's 1999
GIADF
Not A Mod
- Aug 17, 2024
- 2,291
- 2,644
Can you just like not post today? Yesterday was bad enough material from you even by your standards.
GIADF
Not A Mod
- Aug 17, 2024
- 2,291
- 2,644
Speaking of bad quality that nobody’s eyes should have to suffer through…. That Bears game.
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
More "Dad jokes"...even quintaveous is tired of them
Funny coming from the king of bad material on here.
That said even though you constantly whine, bitch, moan and complain @GIADF you are not wrong that the Bears suck ass. You should divest yourself of any Chicago influences. Do it for the boy.
Can't raise him as a fan of loser teams.
10% fee for anything I pull out of my 401k before age 58 which is understandable. wonder if it applies to my Roth IRA too. What is even the difference.
IIRC one is tax free? @GIADF
Also might start making some investments in stocks to earn some extra cash.
@PanthersPens62 About to start work and listen to the Nevin Shapiro podcast with Uncle Luke. I don't understand why you are so cranky kong about these people. Uncle Luke was a Miami NIL legend in the 80's and 90's with the 2 Live crew.
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
If you have TSA Plus do you like not remove your shoes or your electronics out of the bag?
When I went on vacation I kept having to take off my jacket and any zip hoodies. It was a PITA.
Made me want to pay the 100 per month for TSA Plus and I only fly twice a year.
When I went on vacation I kept having to take off my jacket and any zip hoodies. It was a PITA.
Made me want to pay the 100 per month for TSA Plus and I only fly twice a year.
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
Toledo outlasts Pittsburgh in bowl-record six OTs
Thursday's GameAbove Sports Bowl surpassed the previous mark set 48 hours earlier when South Florida beat San Jose State in five overtimes in the Hawaii Bowl.
Sega Dreamcast
party like it's 1999
What a surprise, you dug your heels in and didn't listen to any of us, just to totally change your mind at the first little inconvenience
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
I don't fly for work because I'm stuck wfh
And another thing! They told me to keep all my electronic shit in my bag when I was leaving DC. But when I was leaving LA they were like take it out. All out. Everything. Wtf.
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
Speaking of which I've only had one day off this week.
First World Problems.
Gotta go to the store today and get that billion dollar lotto ticket. If I win I promise the UT gets a cut.
First World Problems.
Gotta go to the store today and get that billion dollar lotto ticket. If I win I promise the UT gets a cut.
Sega Dreamcast
party like it's 1999
TSA is incredibly inconsistent, just for so many agents to act like total assholes when people are unsure of the inconsistent rules.
It's like they get annoyed at having to constantly repeat themselves, so they act rude as shit to every new person that comes through.
Don't be a dick when your meaningless job could be replaced with a f***ing sign.
Last edited:
SoupNazi
Keeps paying for Hangman’s OF to get promoted
- Feb 6, 2010
- 27,304
- 17,712
Yep, that’s the guy who spent 200 posts saying Precheck was a ripoff.
SoupNazi
Keeps paying for Hangman’s OF to get promoted
- Feb 6, 2010
- 27,304
- 17,712
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
I work from home. I don't need to fly every 2 weeks to business meetings with partners.
SoupNazi
Keeps paying for Hangman’s OF to get promoted
- Feb 6, 2010
- 27,304
- 17,712
The most unbelievable part is that you work.
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
Trust me I would like to have your life flying around all the time but how do you even settle down like that? Are you like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You can?
Every day, in a new city. It just wouldn't make sense.
Although if I did win 1.2 billion today I would probably live your life except in Europe. Just nomadland Europe style.
TBH that is the only situation I could see myself retiring from the UT. So everyone buy your lotto tickets for me and hope I win that billion dollar lottery.
Every day, in a new city. It just wouldn't make sense.
Although if I did win 1.2 billion today I would probably live your life except in Europe. Just nomadland Europe style.
TBH that is the only situation I could see myself retiring from the UT. So everyone buy your lotto tickets for me and hope I win that billion dollar lottery.
SoupNazi
Keeps paying for Hangman’s OF to get promoted
- Feb 6, 2010
- 27,304
- 17,712
John Price and the Lottery Winnings
John Price was a creature of habit. Every morning, the 45-year-old pudgy man woke up in his cluttered apartment, surrounded by his mountain of plushies, and logged onto HFBoards. Known for his relentless posting in the "Useless Thread," he was infamous for his long-winded tangents about plushie collecting and his borderline obsession with Millerade—a bafflingly unpopular citrus drink named after a backup goalie from the 1990s.
Despite his eccentricities, John lived a modest, if lonely, life. His apartment was more stuffed than decorated, every corner filled with plushies of all shapes and sizes. To him, they weren’t just toys—they were companions. His favorite, a battered teddy bear named Sir Fuzzybottom, had been with him since childhood, absorbing years of tears, spilled Millerade, and dreams of a life less ordinary.
Then, one seemingly mundane Saturday, John’s life changed forever. As he sat in his threadbare recliner, sipping Millerade and scratching off his Powerball ticket, his heart began to race. One number matched. Then another. By the time he revealed the sixth number, he was shaking. He double-checked, triple-checked. He wasn’t dreaming. He had just won a billion dollars.
The news spread quickly on HFBoards. Threads speculating about how John would spend his fortune flooded the forum. “Will he buy an NHL team?” one user joked. Another quipped, “He’s gonna build a Millerade factory in his apartment.” But no one truly predicted what John would do with his newfound wealth.
Within days of claiming his winnings, John went on an unprecedented spending spree. He purchased warehouses to house his ever-expanding plushie collection, commissioning custom creations from top artists around the world. He even paid for life-sized plush replicas of every NHL mascot, including Gritty, which cost him $100,000 alone.
He didn’t stop there. Fueled by years of mockery over his love of Millerade, John bought the rights to the defunct brand and relaunched it as a global empire. Billboards appeared overnight, plastered with slogans like “Millerade: Drink the Dream” and “For the True Underdogs.” He funded commercials starring his plushies, and even hired Wayne Gretzky for a bizarre spot where the hockey legend pretended to drink Millerade during a game-winning goal.
But John’s ultimate passion project was the "SnuggleDome," a $500 million plushie mecca located in the heart of Anaheim. It was a sprawling, state-of-the-art facility featuring plushie museums, interactive exhibits, and even a “plushie spa” where collectors could have their treasures restored. PlushieCon, an annual convention held at the SnuggleDome, drew thousands of enthusiasts from around the globe.
For a while, it seemed like John had finally found his purpose. He was no longer just the butt of the joke—he was a billionaire, a mogul, the plushie king. But wealth and obsession can be a dangerous mix.
The cracks in John’s empire began to show within a year. Despite the initial hype, Millerade’s sales plummeted once the novelty wore off. Critics panned it as “the beverage equivalent of sadness,” and social media turned it into a meme. The plushie market, once niche and charming, became oversaturated as John flooded it with his gaudy, overpriced creations.
But the biggest blow came from within. As his wealth grew, John became increasingly isolated. He alienated his few online friends by boasting incessantly about his success. His HFBoards posts grew erratic, often devolving into rants about how no one appreciated his “genius.” The Useless Thread, once his sanctuary, became a battleground of former allies mocking him.
John’s spending spiraled out of control. He poured millions into increasingly bizarre projects, like a failed attempt to create a plushie amusement park and an ill-advised venture into Millerade-flavored energy drinks. His once-loyal team of employees abandoned him, citing erratic behavior and unpaid wages. Lawsuits piled up.
By the second year, John was broke. The SnuggleDome was repossessed and converted into a storage facility. Millerade disappeared from shelves once again, becoming a punchline in “worst beverage” lists. Most devastatingly, John was forced to auction off his beloved plushie collection. Watching Sir Fuzzybottom go to a stranger for $5 broke something in him that could never be repaired.
John moved back into his tiny apartment, now empty and hollow without his plushies. The walls, once colorful and alive with soft companions, were bare. The fridge held nothing but a single bottle of expired Millerade. He stopped posting on HFBoards, his account fading into obscurity.
One day, a concerned neighbor called the authorities after noticing that John hadn’t left his apartment in weeks. They found him slumped in his recliner, clutching the last plushie he had managed to keep—a cheap, mass-produced teddy bear from a carnival. In his hand was a crumpled lottery ticket, the numbers long faded.
John Price had chased a dream, only to have it slip through his fingers. In the end, he was just another cautionary tale of how even a billion dollars can’t buy happiness—or bring back what truly matters.
Despite his eccentricities, John lived a modest, if lonely, life. His apartment was more stuffed than decorated, every corner filled with plushies of all shapes and sizes. To him, they weren’t just toys—they were companions. His favorite, a battered teddy bear named Sir Fuzzybottom, had been with him since childhood, absorbing years of tears, spilled Millerade, and dreams of a life less ordinary.
Then, one seemingly mundane Saturday, John’s life changed forever. As he sat in his threadbare recliner, sipping Millerade and scratching off his Powerball ticket, his heart began to race. One number matched. Then another. By the time he revealed the sixth number, he was shaking. He double-checked, triple-checked. He wasn’t dreaming. He had just won a billion dollars.
The news spread quickly on HFBoards. Threads speculating about how John would spend his fortune flooded the forum. “Will he buy an NHL team?” one user joked. Another quipped, “He’s gonna build a Millerade factory in his apartment.” But no one truly predicted what John would do with his newfound wealth.
Within days of claiming his winnings, John went on an unprecedented spending spree. He purchased warehouses to house his ever-expanding plushie collection, commissioning custom creations from top artists around the world. He even paid for life-sized plush replicas of every NHL mascot, including Gritty, which cost him $100,000 alone.
He didn’t stop there. Fueled by years of mockery over his love of Millerade, John bought the rights to the defunct brand and relaunched it as a global empire. Billboards appeared overnight, plastered with slogans like “Millerade: Drink the Dream” and “For the True Underdogs.” He funded commercials starring his plushies, and even hired Wayne Gretzky for a bizarre spot where the hockey legend pretended to drink Millerade during a game-winning goal.
But John’s ultimate passion project was the "SnuggleDome," a $500 million plushie mecca located in the heart of Anaheim. It was a sprawling, state-of-the-art facility featuring plushie museums, interactive exhibits, and even a “plushie spa” where collectors could have their treasures restored. PlushieCon, an annual convention held at the SnuggleDome, drew thousands of enthusiasts from around the globe.
For a while, it seemed like John had finally found his purpose. He was no longer just the butt of the joke—he was a billionaire, a mogul, the plushie king. But wealth and obsession can be a dangerous mix.
The cracks in John’s empire began to show within a year. Despite the initial hype, Millerade’s sales plummeted once the novelty wore off. Critics panned it as “the beverage equivalent of sadness,” and social media turned it into a meme. The plushie market, once niche and charming, became oversaturated as John flooded it with his gaudy, overpriced creations.
But the biggest blow came from within. As his wealth grew, John became increasingly isolated. He alienated his few online friends by boasting incessantly about his success. His HFBoards posts grew erratic, often devolving into rants about how no one appreciated his “genius.” The Useless Thread, once his sanctuary, became a battleground of former allies mocking him.
John’s spending spiraled out of control. He poured millions into increasingly bizarre projects, like a failed attempt to create a plushie amusement park and an ill-advised venture into Millerade-flavored energy drinks. His once-loyal team of employees abandoned him, citing erratic behavior and unpaid wages. Lawsuits piled up.
By the second year, John was broke. The SnuggleDome was repossessed and converted into a storage facility. Millerade disappeared from shelves once again, becoming a punchline in “worst beverage” lists. Most devastatingly, John was forced to auction off his beloved plushie collection. Watching Sir Fuzzybottom go to a stranger for $5 broke something in him that could never be repaired.
John moved back into his tiny apartment, now empty and hollow without his plushies. The walls, once colorful and alive with soft companions, were bare. The fridge held nothing but a single bottle of expired Millerade. He stopped posting on HFBoards, his account fading into obscurity.
One day, a concerned neighbor called the authorities after noticing that John hadn’t left his apartment in weeks. They found him slumped in his recliner, clutching the last plushie he had managed to keep—a cheap, mass-produced teddy bear from a carnival. In his hand was a crumpled lottery ticket, the numbers long faded.
John Price had chased a dream, only to have it slip through his fingers. In the end, he was just another cautionary tale of how even a billion dollars can’t buy happiness—or bring back what truly matters.
John Price
pro gambler/drinker
- Sep 19, 2008
- 387,104
- 31,398
"You're less likely to win the lottery doing quick pick rather than using your own numbers."
No, the odds are still 1 in 6 million whether you use quick pick or your own numbers.
No, the odds are still 1 in 6 million whether you use quick pick or your own numbers.
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