End of Line
Sic Semper Tyrannis
- Mar 20, 2009
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We’ll have tag team and leannnn on recruiting next time lll
Useless Thread MCMXCVII - 51 Year Old Spams His Plushies (Xmas Still Canceled)
- Thread starter Mantis
- Start date
We’ll have tag team and leannnn on recruiting next time lll
End of Line
Sic Semper Tyrannis
- Mar 20, 2009
- 28,482
- 6,128
John Price
Gang Gang
- Sep 19, 2008
- 386,672
- 31,258
Leon Draisaitl is not having a good season, he's having a great season
He’s having an incredible season. 30GP 22G 23A 45P +18 57% face offs Dominant at both ends of the ice as well.
"cry"sidl
End of Line
Sic Semper Tyrannis
- Mar 20, 2009
- 28,482
- 6,128
We can do it. I might have to lean on my admissions contacts to open up Mirror Lake again for it lol
End of Line
Sic Semper Tyrannis
- Mar 20, 2009
- 28,482
- 6,128
John Price
Gang Gang
- Sep 19, 2008
- 386,672
- 31,258
mattihp
Registered User
Played the worst hockey game ever yesterday. Actua Ice Hockey.
Beat Czech Republic like 16-5. Jágr barely played for some reason.
The rosters are hilarious. As they only had licenses for NHL players, Ruuttu plays defense for Finland? For Russia they stuck Mironov the defenseman as the top center whilst Nemchinov played defense.
No PP units either, if your fourth grind line was out.. They take it.
Beat Czech Republic like 16-5. Jágr barely played for some reason.
The rosters are hilarious. As they only had licenses for NHL players, Ruuttu plays defense for Finland? For Russia they stuck Mironov the defenseman as the top center whilst Nemchinov played defense.
No PP units either, if your fourth grind line was out.. They take it.
PanthersPens62
Paul & Stanley
Why do you keep acting so surprised about eligibility? This is not 1984 anymore.
As for that picture of "Peter"......poor thing was wishing there were no bars around that balcony so he could have jumped off & away from his lunatic of a "dad".
Florida 6, Edmonton 5Leon Draisaitl is not having a good season, he's having a great season
He’s having an incredible season. 30GP 22G 23A 45P +18 57% face offs Dominant at both ends of the ice as well.forums.hfboards.com
"cry"sidl
Panthers lead series 5 games to 3.
PanthersPens62
Paul & Stanley
Hood Morning & Happy Fri-Yay!
Stop. Betting. Against. Ze. Pens. 
End of Line
Sic Semper Tyrannis
- Mar 20, 2009
- 28,482
- 6,128
Hood Morning & Happy Fri-Yay!
No no it’s working for us right now lol
SoupNazi
Keeps paying for Hangman’s OF to get promoted
- Feb 6, 2010
- 27,228
- 17,553
John Price and the Plushie Debacle
@John Price was not a man who typically frequented sports bars. At 5’2” and weighing in on the heavier side, with a thinning patch of black hair that betrayed his 41 years, his usual habitat was his one-bedroom apartment filled to the brim with plushies. From Beanie Babies to anime collectibles, he had it all. His fellow HFBoards Useless Thread posters often mocked him for his “real-life power plays,” which amounted to spirited online debates over sports stats and his infamous plushie obsession.But on a rare Friday night, fueled by a mix of loneliness and a dare from the Useless Thread, John decided to venture into the Sports Bar & Grill. Armed with a jersey two sizes too small and a confidence he’d borrowed from half a Millerade, he found himself seated next to Katie, a vibrant brunette with an infectious laugh.
Somehow, despite John’s awkward attempts to sound suave, Katie found his nerdy charm endearing. They talked for hours—mostly John ranting about hockey trades and rare plushies—until Katie surprised him with an invitation back to her place.
John could barely contain his excitement. As they stepped into her cozy apartment, his jaw dropped. There, proudly displayed in a glass cabinet, was a plushie collection that rivaled his own. Rare Beanie Babies, oversized Pokémon, and even a pristine Care Bears lineup stared back at him like tiny, fabric-wrapped trophies.
“Holy... is that a first-edition Snorlax?” John gasped, rushing to the cabinet without so much as removing his shoes.
“Uh, yeah,” Katie said, crossing her arms. “My ex collected them, but I kept the good ones.”
John’s eyes glistened with admiration. “You’re sitting on a gold mine! Do you have any idea how much these are worth?”
Katie smiled nervously. “Not really. I just think they’re cute.”
But John wasn’t listening. He launched into an impassioned lecture about the rarity of plushies, how to preserve their value, and why UV-protective cases were essential. His tone grew louder and more obsessive with each passing minute, while Katie’s patience dwindled.
Finally, she interrupted. “Okay, John, I think you should leave.”
“What? But we were having such a good time!” he protested, clutching a Togepi plushie like a lifeline.
Katie yanked the plushie from his hands. “You’re more into my plushies than me. Get out.”
The walk home was a mix of humiliation and simmering resentment. “She doesn’t deserve those plushies,” John muttered. “They’re wasted on her.”
By the next evening, John had convinced himself that the plushies needed rescuing. Clad in his "stealthiest" outfit—black sweatpants and a hoodie—he grabbed a duffle bag and headed to Katie’s house under the cover of darkness.
Sliding into her backyard, he spotted the glass cabinet through the living room window. His heart raced as he jimmied the back door open with a credit card. But just as he stepped inside, a low growl stopped him in his tracks.
Katie’s Yorkshire Terrier, Mr. Snuffles, darted out from the shadows like a furry torpedo, sinking its tiny teeth into John’s ankle.
“Ahhh! Get off me, you demon dog!” John yelled, flailing wildly.
His screams woke Katie’s half-blind great-grandmother, who lived in an upstairs room. She grabbed her trusty umbrella and shuffled downstairs, her failing vision making John’s figure seem twice as menacing.
“Who’s there?!” she croaked, swinging the umbrella with surprising strength.
“Wait, I can explain!” John cried, but her next swing caught him on the shoulder, sending him sprawling onto the floor.
Katie appeared moments later, holding her phone in one hand and a frying pan in the other. “John?! Are you serious?!”
“I was just—”
“You were just stealing my plushies,” she snapped, cutting him off. “Grandma, call the cops!”
Great-Grandma, confused but compliant, dialed 911 while keeping John pinned with the business end of her umbrella.
The next morning, John found himself sitting in a holding cell at the local police station, nursing a sore ankle and a bruised ego. His one phone call went to the only people he thought might understand: the HFBoards Useless Thread.
“Guys, it’s me, John. I’m in jail. Long story short, I need bail money.”
The chat lit up instantly:
- HockeyBro69: “Wait, are you serious?”
- PlushieFanatic88: “What did you do this time?”
- GoalieGod42: “No way am I spending a dime to bail you out. Lmao.”
Defeated, John hung up and slumped against the cell wall. The cops chuckled as they read the incident report, which detailed his plushie obsession, the Yorkie bite, and his takedown by an elderly woman with an umbrella.
Weeks later, John was back in his HFBoards thread, trying to defend his actions.
“I wasn’t stealing them,” he wrote. “I was rescuing them from someone who didn’t appreciate their value. If anything, I’m the hero here.”
The replies came fast and merciless:
- @MetalheadPenguinsFan : “Heroes don’t get taken down by Yorkies, dude.”
- @PanthersPens62 : “You’re lucky she didn’t use the frying pan.”
- @GIADF : “You’ll go down in HFBoards history... as the guy who got benched by a grandma.”
GIADF
Not A Mod
- Aug 17, 2024
- 2,038
- 2,366
Chilly walk. Wind chill only 11 this morning but still took the pup for an hour walk.
Kiss my ass JP but happy Friday to everyone else.
Kiss my ass JP but happy Friday to everyone else.
PanthersPens62
Paul & Stanley
Rating The Celebrity Picker:
CFP Playoffs Day 1 Location - South Bend IN for Indiana at Notre dame
Celebrity Picker: Shane Gillis
Rating: MINUS INFINITY
Summary: What in the ever blazing nuclear F***??!!!!!! This is a historic weekend in college football & ESPN can't find anyone better than a dime store comedian with no ties to either school and a history of insensitive jokes.
Hard pass. Do better tomorrow ESPN.........or should I just expect a Saturday morning with Theo Von. 
CFP Playoffs Day 1 Location - South Bend IN for Indiana at Notre dame
Celebrity Picker: Shane Gillis
Rating: MINUS INFINITY
Summary: What in the ever blazing nuclear F***??!!!!!! This is a historic weekend in college football & ESPN can't find anyone better than a dime store comedian with no ties to either school and a history of insensitive jokes.
Hard pass. Do better tomorrow ESPN.........or should I just expect a Saturday morning with Theo Von.
PanthersPens62
Paul & Stanley
Rating The Celebrity Picker:
CFP Playoffs Day 2 Location - Columbus OH for Tennessee at THE Ohio State University
Celebrity Picker: A.J. Hawk
Rating: 7
Summary: Well a major improvement over the shitshow that will take place in South Bend. Hawk is a beloved Buckeye grad & a former champ. His association with that clown McAfee is the only thing that keeps the grade from being higher.
CFP Playoffs Day 2 Location - Columbus OH for Tennessee at THE Ohio State University
Celebrity Picker: A.J. Hawk
Rating: 7
Summary: Well a major improvement over the shitshow that will take place in South Bend. Hawk is a beloved Buckeye grad & a former champ. His association with that clown McAfee is the only thing that keeps the grade from being higher.
John Price
Gang Gang
- Sep 19, 2008
- 386,672
- 31,258
John Price
Gang Gang
- Sep 19, 2008
- 386,672
- 31,258
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