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Useless Thread MCMXCIX: Miss Piggy Appreciation Thread | Page 36 | HFBoards - NHL Message Board and Forum for National Hockey League
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Useless Thread MCMXCIX: Miss Piggy Appreciation Thread

Wings up 4-0 after 8 minutes.

giphy.gif
 
It's hilarious how easy it is to pull a streaming site with my TV's web browser.

It even has a built in ad blocker that I never had to configure.
 
I have these 10 year old Sonic and Tails plushies that I want to bestow to little baby Emilio, but they are noticeably stained grey from dust and bong smoke.

I've run them through the washing machine on speed wash with Oxyclean and they look just as dingy.

@John Price how do you clean your plushies, keep in mind I'm not cleaning "DNA" off of them.
 
The fix is in for the Eagles.

The broadcast shows a clear Packers recovery and they still f*** the call up.

It was also a helmet to facemask hit that caused the fumble
 
Bong smoke lirl.

I have these 10 year old Sonic and Tails plushies that I want to bestow to little baby Emilio, but they are noticeably stained grey from dust and bong smoke.

I've run them through the washing machine on speed wash with Oxyclean and they look just as dingy.

@John Price how do you clean your plushies, keep in mind I'm not cleaning "DNA" off of them.

Do I look like Heloise

That said I'd be lying if I didn't browse other websites which say to put them in a pillowcase in the washer

It's like putting a playoff game on Amazon prime, you're not enticing anyone to sign up, you're just pissing off people and driving them to streaming sites
The only positive is that they're all on twitch
 
For a pretty disastrous first half, the Packers are not in an entirely terrible position.

Take away that bullshit kickoff fumble and it's a one possession game.
 
Plushies, Game Shows, and the Bright Lights of The Price is Right


The Jeopardy Rejection​

Brenda sat cross-legged on the floor of John’s apartment, surrounded by plushies, a half-eaten lasagna on the table behind her. She was scrolling through game show applications on her phone, mumbling to herself.

"John, this is our chance to make it big. You, me, and the plushies could become national treasures," Brenda said, her voice full of determination.

John, wearing a plushie-shaped hoodie, perked up. "What about Jeopardy? I know a lot about rare plushie manufacturing dates!"

Brenda's face lit up. "Brilliant! Let’s apply!"

The dream came crashing down three days later when the Jeopardy producers sent them a polite but curt rejection email:

"Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, Jeopardy is not currently seeking contestants who list ‘plushie trivia’ as their only area of expertise. Best of luck in your future endeavors."

Brenda scoffed. "Their loss. Let’s go for something more... us. Something fun, exciting, and full of bright lights!"

John’s eyes sparkled. "What about The Price is Right?"


Heading to The Price is Right​

A week later, Brenda and John were standing in line at the CBS studios in Los Angeles, wearing matching neon T-shirts that said, "Plushies Are Priceless!" Brenda held a handmade sign that read, "We LOVE Drew Carey!" and John carried a plushie kangaroo, which he insisted was his good luck charm.

The audience coordinators couldn’t resist their over-the-top enthusiasm, and before long, Brenda and John were ushered into the studio.

When Drew Carey walked onto the stage, Brenda screamed so loudly that a nearby producer flinched. "I LOVE YOU, DREW!" she shouted, waving her sign like it was on fire.

John clutched his kangaroo plushie and whispered, "Don’t embarrass me, Mom."


The Big Moment​

It happened: Brenda’s name was called.

"Brenda Price, come on down!"

Brenda shot up from her seat, dragging John behind her. "We’re a team!" she declared, ignoring the protests of the staff who informed her that only one contestant was allowed.

Brenda practically tackled the other contestants at the bidding podium, determined to win.

The first item up for bid was a blender.

"$400!" Brenda shouted before Drew even finished describing the appliance.

"Mom," John whispered, "plushie blenders cost, like, $35."

"Shut up, John. I’ve got this," Brenda hissed.

When the actual retail price of the blender was revealed to be $120, Brenda scowled. "This game is rigged," she muttered as another contestant took the win.


John’s Turn​

During the next round, it was John’s turn to bid. The item was a deluxe outdoor grill.

"$2,000!" John shouted confidently.

Drew raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?"

John nodded. "I have a grill-shaped plushie at home, and it was $1,500. So this is probably a little more."

The audience groaned.

The actual retail price? $599.

"John, you can’t compare real grills to plushies!" Brenda scolded.

John shrugged. "Grills are grills."


Showcase Showdown​

Despite their disastrous bids, Brenda and John cheered louder than anyone else in the studio. Brenda waved her Drew Carey sign so aggressively that a cameraman had to dodge it.

During the Showcase Showdown, Brenda managed to spin the big wheel, but it only landed on 20 cents. She blamed the studio lighting for her poor performance.

John, however, got lucky and spun 85 cents, earning him a spot in the final showcase.


The Plushie-Filled Showcase​

John’s showcase was a vacation package to Paris, a luxury car, and an elaborate bedroom set.

Brenda, standing offstage, screamed, "Bid high, John! Think about how many plushies you could fit in that car!"

John nodded sagely and shouted, "$100,000!"

The audience gasped.

Drew Carey blinked. "Are you sure about that, John?"

John grinned. "I know the plushie market, Drew. Trust me."

The actual retail price of the showcase was $42,000.

Brenda covered her face in her hands. "We could’ve had a luxury car, John!"

John shrugged. "It’s fine. I’ll just buy a plushie car when we get home."


The Aftermath​

On the flight home, Brenda was still fuming.

"John, you were this close to winning us a car and a trip to Paris! Do you know how many plushie pictures we could’ve taken in front of the Eiffel Tower?"

John, unbothered, was browsing a plushie auction on his phone. "It’s okay, Mom. We’ll get them next time. Plus, I found a rare plushie shaped like a baguette. It’s basically the same as going to Paris."

Brenda groaned. "Why do I even bother?"


Epilogue​

Though they didn’t win anything on The Price is Right, John and Brenda became minor celebrities after their antics aired. Fans of the show dubbed them "The Plushie Duo," and their T-shirts became a meme.

John used his newfound fame to start a YouTube channel where he reviewed plushies, while Brenda began writing a self-help book titled It’s a Real Banger: How to Keep Dreaming Big, Even When You Lose.

As for me, I just stayed as far away from their chaos as possible—at least until their next harebrained scheme.
 

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