OT: Thread About Nothing (TaN #...lost count)

[Bleedred]

Yeah dog, didn't mean to trigger anything.

Self-care is a pretty solid way towards goals romantic or otherwise.

No worries. You didn't trigger anything. It's all kind of recent anyway, a little too recent for me. Things are quickly trending upward the last 1.5 months since I snapped out of the funk that I let myself get into for almost the entire calendar year before the middle of October.

My lawn is also still recovering. I let a lot of things go at my house that I normally wouldn't. I'd go a month without cutting the grass. The inside of the house started to look like your stereotypical ''A single guy that's a slob'' lives here type of pad. I pride myself on keeping a nicer and more clean place than some of the cleanest women I know, let alone most of the men I know. I thankfully never let anything get decrepit enough where I saw a roach, because it's fairly easy to get roaches down here.

wait is this the 7/11 chick? i've been dying for an update on that one.

Yup, that's her.

The end finally came, thank god for it. There really haven't been any new developments since about February or maybe at some point in March when she was still texting asking for rides to court and to 'Borrow'' money at some point around Easter and I quickly shot her down. Wasn't a huge dickhead when I turned her down, but I'm pretty sure I called her the biggest mooch I know in the text the last time I had to turn her down. I learned a long time ago that a loan to her is a gift and it don't come with a nice tax write off.

I woke up on a Saturday morning to several missed ''No Caller ID'' calls on my phone at the end of September. And she continued to call until I answered. She gave me her usual sob story and I all but laughed her off the phone. I think it was 6-7 weeks ago when I had just one single No Caller ID missed call and our mutual friend mentioned that she had tried to get ahold of her that night too. And she only even contacts her anymore when she wants to mooch of her.

I don't even have her blocked, cause I don't even have a number for her anymore. Old phone is out of service, but she blocks the number so I won't know her number or whoever's number she's calling from, so I can't track her down and call her. I really have no interest in speaking to her at all, for any reason, ever again.

 

[MartyOwns]

No worries. You didn't trigger anything. It's all kind of recent anyway, a little too recent for me. Things are quickly trending upward the last 1.5 months since I snapped out of the funk that I let myself get into for almost the entire calendar year before the middle of October.

My lawn is also still recovering. I let a lot of things go at my house that I normally wouldn't. I'd go a month without cutting the grass. The inside of the house started to look like your stereotypical ''A single guy that's a slob'' lives here type of pad. I pride myself on keeping a nicer and more clean place than some of the cleanest women I know, let alone most of the men I know. I thankfully never let anything get decrepit enough where I saw a roach, because it's fairly easy to get roaches down here.



Yup, that's her.

The end finally came, thank god for it. There really haven't been any new developments since about February or maybe at some point in March when she was still texting asking for rides to court and to 'Borrow'' money at some point around Easter and I quickly shot her down. Wasn't a huge dickhead when I turned her down, but I'm pretty sure I called her the biggest mooch I know in the text the last time I had to turn her down. I learned a long time ago that a loan to her is a gift and it don't come with a nice tax write off.

I woke up on a Saturday morning to several missed ''No Caller ID'' calls on my phone at the end of September. And she continued to call until I answered. She gave me her usual sob story and I all but laughed her off the phone. I think it was 6-7 weeks ago when I had just one single No Caller ID missed call and our mutual friend mentioned that she had tried to get ahold of her that night too. And she only even contacts her anymore when she wants to mooch of her.

I don't even have her blocked, cause I don't even have a number for her anymore. Old phone is out of service, but she blocks the number so I won't know her number or whoever's number she's calling from, so I can't track her down and call her. I really have no interest in speaking to her at all, for any reason, ever again.

glad to hear it man…life’s too short for that shit

 

[Saugus]

I met my wife through Coffee Meets Bagel. If you want an actual relationship instead of "let's hook up and see what happens," it's as good as it gets. My previous relationship was found via Tinder, but that was on one of the few times I actually used the damn thing.

I don't miss the dating app life at all. Lots of throwing yourself out there, failing a lot, and first dates that are more like job interviews than actual dates. Find yourself a warm body and don't let go.

I got lucky and met my wife randomly in person, and never had to do any of the dating apps at all.

Here's the story: I made plans to meet up with friends at a local brewery on their open house night. I got there early, and my friends were running late. I didn't want to be the creepy dude standing in the corner drinking beer alone and staring at people, so I went around to see if I knew anybody.

I ran into a guy I went to high school with, and he introduced me to the group of people he was there with, his gf's coworkers. That group included my now-wife. We started talking and hit it off immediately.

All of a sudden, a pipe burst in the corner of the room, spewing out gas with a loud hissing noise. The staff evacuated everybody, closed the brewery, and called the fire department. It didn't make sense to stay because they were clearly not opening back up.

But it was 7 pm on a Friday and nobody wanted to go home, so somebody suggested we go out for dinner. My friends never did show up, so I decided to write them off and go with the group I'd been hanging out with. I didn't realize when I agreed to this that it would be three couples and the two of us, so I basically could only talk to her. But I knew I liked her, so I was ok with it.

It continued to go well during dinner, and also when we went to a bar down the street for drinks after. As the night went on, all the couples had no reason to stay out, so they went home until eventually we were there by ourselves closing down the bar.

I got her number that night, called her the next day, and took her out on a date the day after that. We've been together for 8.5 years, married for 3, and we're expecting our first child any day now.

Weird how something as random as a brewery gas leak can change your whole life in an instant.

 

[Oneiro]

That's a great story, Saugus. Congrats on your family, they're lucky to have you.

I've had fun on the apps, met some very cool women. Honestly, had mostly good experiences, including a great two year fling with someone, but it's such a time suck. If you have any respect for your time, it's really hard to want to sit there and swipe away and then go out, spend the money, etc.

I'm early thirties, love my job and work a lot. For any long term thing, I just decided to let fate go to work and stop trying to force it.

 

[My3Sons]

I got lucky and met my wife randomly in person, and never had to do any of the dating apps at all.

Here's the story: I made plans to meet up with friends at a local brewery on their open house night. I got there early, and my friends were running late. I didn't want to be the creepy dude standing in the corner drinking beer alone and staring at people, so I went around to see if I knew anybody.

I ran into a guy I went to high school with, and he introduced me to the group of people he was there with, his gf's coworkers. That group included my now-wife. We started talking and hit it off immediately.

All of a sudden, a pipe burst in the corner of the room, spewing out gas with a loud hissing noise. The staff evacuated everybody, closed the brewery, and called the fire department. It didn't make sense to stay because they were clearly not opening back up.

But it was 7 pm on a Friday and nobody wanted to go home, so somebody suggested we go out for dinner. My friends never did show up, so I decided to write them off and go with the group I'd been hanging out with. I didn't realize when I agreed to this that it would be three couples and the two of us, so I basically could only talk to her. But I knew I liked her, so I was ok with it.

It continued to go well during dinner, and also when we went to a bar down the street for drinks after. As the night went on, all the couples had no reason to stay out, so they went home until eventually we were there by ourselves closing down the bar.

I got her number that night, called her the next day, and took her out on a date the day after that. We've been together for 8.5 years, married for 3, and we're expecting our first child any day now.

Weird how something as random as a brewery gas leak can change your whole life in an instant.

So did you get lucky before or after you met your wife? That part of the story is a bit vague.

 

[devilsblood]

Tinder has been mostly hookers and bots for a while.

Plenty of Fish if catching chlamydia from a single mom who lives in a trailer behind a Wal-Mart is your thing.

Bumble can still be effective in the right area.

Hinge if you want a wife that makes more than you.

Feeld is a gem if you're a freak.

Blk is the jam if you want an educated black woman who's in to white boys.

Jdate - "sorry, but at least your kids will be Jewish"

There's one for people who graduated from elite schools and one for Hollywood as well but their names escape me. They're both over the top gold digger apps.

I find this Hinge app intriguing.

 

[devilsblood]

Was at my brothers who has an Oculus so entered the virtual world for the first time, and I have to admit I thought it was pretty amazing. And I was merely doing the entry level stuff. I can't wait to go back in.

 

[Tao Jersey Jones]

 

[Tao Jersey Jones]

 

[NjDevsRR]

Can confirm Hinge is legit the best out there.

I met three fantastic women over the years; two are literally in my inner circle of friends now and the other is the girl of my dreams.

My two childhood friends are both engaged to hinge connections as well.

A great dating app. It’s not even close. It’s also worth buying the premium for a month ($30, yes it’s worth it), you’ll get a ton of matches if you genuinely show interest when sending a like.

 

[Jack Be Quick]

That's a great story, Saugus. Congrats on your family, they're lucky to have you.

I've had fun on the apps, met some very cool women. Honestly, had mostly good experiences, including a great two year fling with someone, but it's such a time suck. If you have any respect for your time, it's really hard to want to sit there and swipe away and then go out, spend the money, etc.

I'm early thirties, love my job and work a lot. For any long term thing, I just decided to let fate go to work and stop trying to force it.

You're correct about the time suck, it certainly can become a drain.

As far as money is concerned though so many guys make the mistake of spending it imo.

A dope coffee shop, a bottle of wine in the park, or a trip to a museum are better ways to do your thing in my experience. A drink at a bar near her place isn't the worst idea either.

f*** dinner.

 

[Jack Be Quick]

Can confirm Hinge is legit the best out there.

I met three fantastic women over the years; two are literally in my inner circle of friends now and the other is the girl of my dreams.

My two childhood friends are both engaged to hinge connections as well.

A great dating app. It’s not even close. It’s also worth buying the premium for a month ($30, yes it’s worth it), you’ll get a ton of matches if you genuinely show interest when sending a like.

You have broads that you've tasted in your inner circle and you're not poly?

If that's the case you have an exponential amount of self control I will never be able to conceive of.

Personally I'd be concerned about my girl being cool with me chilling with former hookups on the regular, but it takes all kinds.

And yeah, hinge is top of the pops.

 

[NjDevsRR]

You have broads that you've tasted in your inner circle and you're not poly?

If that's the case you have an exponential amount of self control I will never be able to conceive of.

Personally I'd be concerned about my girl being cool with me chilling with former hookups on the regular, but it takes all kinds.

And yeah, hinge is top of the pops.

One didn’t get that far, the other did, the current is fine with both because all three are absolutely the best of best people. I never throw good people out of my life.

The amount of decent and genuine people on that app is it’s selling point.

 

[Jack Be Quick]

One didn’t get that far, the other did, the current is fine with both because all three are absolutely the best of best people. I never throw good people out of my life.

The amount of decent and genuine people on that app is it’s selling point.

Understandable I suppose, but I would never tolerate a partners ex in our lives. They're exes for a reason and it's just a sign of respect to your current. The occasional well wishes on holidays or your birthday? Sure. No need to be enemies. But inner circle? That's tough to swallow for most I believe.

Throwing good people out of your (my?) life is just a part of life imo. Some relationships be they romantic, business, friendships or otherwise just run their course. You'll reconnect with the great ones eventually if you both know it's worth it.

No judgement, because as I said, it takes all kinds.

 

[NjDevsRR]

Understandable I suppose, but I would never tolerate a partners ex in our lives. They're exes for a reason and it's just a sign of respect to your current. The occasional well wishes on holidays or your birthday? Sure. No need to be enemies. But inner circle? That's tough to swallow for most I believe.

Throwing good people out of your (my?) life is just a part of life imo. Some relationships be they romantic, business, friendships or otherwise just run their course. You'll reconnect with the great ones eventually if you both know it's worth it.

No judgement, because as I said, it takes all kinds.

Amicable breakups resulting in friendships is not that rare.

 

[Jack Be Quick]

Amicable breakups resulting in friendships is not that rare.

Not in my experience.

Anecdotal for sure, but I have a pretty large and diverse group of friends and have lived in several cities and states and can't think of an example of a current partner truly getting along with an ex. I can however think of a few cases where this was attempted and ended in disaster.

And let's be blunt even at the risk of sounding crass, who really wants to hang out with a guy your girl was blowing (I'm being nice) for years?

As I said earlier though, if you're poly or swingers that changes the math.

Kids can also slightly alter the equation. Kind of.

 

[Billdo]

I got lucky and met my wife randomly in person, and never had to do any of the dating apps at all.

Here's the story: I made plans to meet up with friends at a local brewery on their open house night. I got there early, and my friends were running late. I didn't want to be the creepy dude standing in the corner drinking beer alone and staring at people, so I went around to see if I knew anybody.

I ran into a guy I went to high school with, and he introduced me to the group of people he was there with, his gf's coworkers. That group included my now-wife. We started talking and hit it off immediately.

All of a sudden, a pipe burst in the corner of the room, spewing out gas with a loud hissing noise. The staff evacuated everybody, closed the brewery, and called the fire department. It didn't make sense to stay because they were clearly not opening back up.

But it was 7 pm on a Friday and nobody wanted to go home, so somebody suggested we go out for dinner. My friends never did show up, so I decided to write them off and go with the group I'd been hanging out with. I didn't realize when I agreed to this that it would be three couples and the two of us, so I basically could only talk to her. But I knew I liked her, so I was ok with it.

It continued to go well during dinner, and also when we went to a bar down the street for drinks after. As the night went on, all the couples had no reason to stay out, so they went home until eventually we were there by ourselves closing down the bar.

I got her number that night, called her the next day, and took her out on a date the day after that. We've been together for 8.5 years, married for 3, and we're expecting our first child any day now.

Weird how something as random as a brewery gas leak can change your whole life in an instant.

This is an awesome story and I love it.

Understandable I suppose, but I would never tolerate a partners ex in our lives. They're exes for a reason and it's just a sign of respect to your current. The occasional well wishes on holidays or your birthday? Sure. No need to be enemies. But inner circle? That's tough to swallow for most I believe.

Throwing good people out of your (my?) life is just a part of life imo. Some relationships be they romantic, business, friendships or otherwise just run their course. You'll reconnect with the great ones eventually if you both know it's worth it.

No judgement, because as I said, it takes all kinds.

My wife is best friends with a girl who is essentially married to an ex from high school. I was hesitant at first but am basically best friends at this point with him.

 

[NjDevsRR]

As I said earlier though, if you're poly or swingers that changes the math.

Lol, no. Its far more common then how you are perceiving it. The entire population isn't controlled purely by sex.

We drifted off the topic. Bottomline:

Hinge = GüD

 

[Saugus]

So did you get lucky before or after you met your wife? That part of the story is a bit vague.

No, that was about a week after.

Amicable breakups resulting in friendships is not that rare.

It's never worked out for me. But I was 23 the last time I was dumped, and probably relatedly, none of my breakups were amicable.

I would probably have more emotional maturity to deal with it if it happened now. Good for you that you can make it work.

 

[NjDevsRR]

No, that was about a week after.



It's never worked out for me. But I was 23 the last time I was dumped, and probably relatedly, none of my breakups were amicable.

I would probably have more emotional maturity to deal with it if it happened now. Good for you that you can make it work.

For the last five years I only entertained the idea of a relationship with people I can see myself having a serious relationship with. So that also had a hand in it since I kept my standards very high. Lucky to have met a handful of tremendous women in that timespan.

 

[Jack Be Quick]

This is an awesome story and I love it.

My wife is best friends with a girl who is essentially married to an ex from high school. I was hesitant at first but am basically best friends at this point with him.

High school is a different beast when we're in our late 30's or 40's. Still tough, but not the same as let's grab drinks with this dude I met on bumble and rocked with for a few years.

 

[Jack Be Quick]

Amicable breakups resulting in friendships is not that rare.

Sure. Until you find someone worth ditching those 'friendships' for.

If you live a life in which you can maintain relationships with people you've been intimate with and think everything is good on everyone's end that's great. It's living a lie, but there's no shame in that. Most people do it to some degree.

Not multi quoting so I'll respond to one of your other posts here.

Yes, it is about sex. Always has been, always will be. You might live in some post-modern online dating utopia in your head, but dollars to doughnuts not all of these people in your life feel this way.

You speak of all of these "tremendous women", well if they're that cool then logic would dictate you'd be with one of them. Not cycling in and out having a faux harem. Which is all good, I rarely hate the player, just one who's dishonest about the game.

If I'm wrong feel free to post some stories about all of the great guys you're friends with who have entered your current partner.

 

[NjDevsRR]

Wow

 

[Jack Be Quick]

That's what I thought.

 

[NjDevsRR]

That's what I thought.

I was literally a grooms man in an ex's wedding two Saturdays ago…I literally went to his out of state bachelor party in October. We are buds.

My best friends wife had an ex as one her husbands grooms men in their wedding…

The way you have been replying is why I am out of this conversation. Can’t have a conversation when one person acts like their point of view is 99.9% the way it is. There are actually adults in this world, who are decent people, who are mature and are not controlled by sex. Respectfully I suggest opening up your mind to reach that level so you are not controlled by just sex, and maybe you’ll realize there are decent people who are not controlled by animalistic habits who can have a healthy platonic relationship with because they are GOOD people. Not every relationship works out, big whoop, but just because theres a sexual history doesn’t mean a friendship cant happen. If both of these people truly enjoyed the non sexual side of their ex partners and are mature then of course a healthy friendship can blossom. Not a hard concept. Amicable breakups leading to good friendships is not uncommon at all, this isn’t even a debate.

The other reason I’m out of this convo after this is you seem to have some bizarre schtick to what I said, as if you are personally offended by it. Like you are basically telling me that I am lying about my life. So again, I’m out of this convo.

Cheers.