The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game (PS4, 2017)
I have a confession to make. I lied to you in a recent review of the Batman Telltale game. Sort of. In the list of game genres defined by their developers, there are few as unmistakable as the concept of the Lego game. I actually surprised myself when I realised the Lego Star Wars games went as far back as the PS2 era. Since then the same basic formula has been expanded into every money making franchise possible, to the point where surely making one of these is as simple as changing the skins on characters and making new cutscenes. In this case, I can happily report that I hated every second of The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game and I'm going to make myself feel better by tearing it to bits.
The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game is a video game about the Lego Ninjago Movie. I assume such a thing exists. The Ninjago are a bunch of teenagers led by a mysterious old Chinese man who gives them special ninja powers. They protect Ninjago City against the evil, four-armed Lord Gano...Ganodar? Gamodar? I want to carry on not remembering to show you how little I care but it'll annoy me too much. Garmadon! I could've written out ten joke answers and not got there. He lives in a volcano nearby and attacks the place every week.
If you've never played a Lego game, the premise is quite simple. An assortment of mostly linear levels lie between you and the end of the game. There are two playable characters, but if you don't have any friends the AI will control the other one when there are puzzles to solve or doors to open. There's an assortment of combat, puzzles and platforming between you and the end of the levels and different characters, which you can switch between in-game as necessary, have different capabilities to deal with these. Enemies and environments are made of Lego too, and most of the environment is interactive and destructible. Although the games are largely aimed at a younger audience, in my experience of the Star Wars games there's enough charm for older players to not get bored.
The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Let's start with gameplay. The game starts with you in a training Dojo learning the three different ways you can press square to make enemies go away. Each of these methods has a fancy name, but when enemies appear all you'll do is spam a mixture of jump and attack until they've stopped. The different Ninjago characters have different weapon types but none of them differ functionally in any way. If you do run out of health you'll just respawn, so it's at least easy to keep playing if something happens to you.
It's been a long time since I was a child but I don't think this game would appeal to me at any age I've ever been. Wikipedia tells me The Lego Ninjago Movie had its screenplay written by six people and its story by seven, and I can only assume that lack of focus is what's responsible for the terrible characterisation and narrative in The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game. Initially I thought it was going to be somewhat self-aware. The game starts with Garmadon attacking the city. As stuff starts getting destroyed and people run around you see someone saying "so what? he attacks the place every week." Ah, I think. It's a post-modern reflection on the nature of Lego as a toy, where you can endlessly play out different scenarios on your own and then constantly rebuild to start again. Very clever. This comes up again when the Ultimate Weapon that's somehow relevant to the plot turns out to be a laser pointer that causes an actual real cat to jump into the city and start destroying stuff, but these are the only interesting moments throughout The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game.
I have no idea what the game's plot is. The objective seems to be to stop Garmadon, as the Ninjago learn their Spinjitzu elemental powers along the way to interact with different puzzles in the environment. But then Garmadon gets captured by them halfway through. We then get a flashback scene where Garmadon meets a woman on a battlefield and they turn out to be one of the Ninjago's parents. I genuinely don't even remember the ending. Do they drive the cat away? I'm not sure. Either way, what story there is just sort of happens, with the levels having very little relation to that.
As I played through The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game I kept wondering what my problem with the environment was. When I dug out my copy of the Star Wars game I realised. There's too much of it. There's Lego everywhere, and it all looks the same. In the levels set in Ninjago City absolutely everything is made of Lego, and most of it is exploding. Playing through this game me a good idea of what it must be like having ADHD. It's impossible to know what's going on or what you're doing half the time. Is this supposed to appeal to kids? It doesn't help either that the game constantly interrupts you when you unlock an upgrade and brings up a screen to let you pick which one you want. It was barely possible to follow the game to begin with, now you're throwing up these things every time I enter a new area? The level design should be a strength it the entire experience is so overwhelming I just ended up resenting it.
To pad out what's a much shorter game than it feels, The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game offers free play of its levels. Like previous games, here you can choose from any of the characters you've unlocked to access areas which might not have been accessible the first go round. Let's look at some previous Lego games and see what they have in common. Star Wars. Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter. Batman. Aside from being established, long-running media which have an established, long-running audience they all have characters. Lots and lots of characters. Lots of different types of characters, who can do different things. The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game, in what was about seven hours to complete the story, has 101 for you to unlock. You might remember me mentioning the Ninjago teenagers (five of those), the old man and the bad guy. Where do the others come from to make up the final total of one hundred and one? I've no idea, but they're in there. Snakes, ghosts, robots, guys who can throw explosives, they're all in there. So is Garmadon dressed up like Dwight Schrute from The Office. If you thought a flimsy story that's constantly being broken up was enough to break interest, it doesn't help when there's a seemingly endless cast of characters you can play as who don't actually feature in the game at all. Who the f*** are these people? Why should I care?
Since in addition to The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game there's a Lego Ninjago Movie and a Lego Ninjago Animated Series, I'm going to assume that watching all of those and owning the Lego sets themselves would make players more familiar with the world and the things in it. That doesn't excuse the game being as consistently off-putting as it is. If anything it makes the entire enterprise feel even more cynical, a self-repeating and perpetuating cycle designed purely to make you spend more money to try and understand what's going on. This, unsurprisingly, doesn't make for a good video game. Regardless of what format or platform something takes it needs to survive on its own merits. You can't turn a book into a film and leave out details that are important to the story.
Vaguely related to that point, I need to mention the cutscenes. These are animated in what appears to be the modern style, that is to say computer animated but made to look as realistic as possible. As if it's actual Lego moving around and talking. I don't like this. Aside from these sequences being just realistic looking enough to make me understand what the Uncanny Valley is for the first time in my life, I just really do not like this style of animation at all. I'm old enough to remember when Shrek and initially Toy Story were groundbreaking, and to see films like that compared to the classic animation which was more prominent at the time you can see the progression. You can see the detail and the intricacies of it, and the possibilities that arise from not having to hand-draw every frame. Here though, there's nothing. I don't even really know how to describe it, it just looks completely unremarkable. It's not that it looks so real as to be unreal, it's more that it doesn't actually register in my head as something I've seen and paid attention to.
The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game is a bad video game, but not just for all the reasons I've described. To my mind it barely feels like a video game at all. It feels like a harbinger of some hideous corporatised future, where the only focus anyone in society has is in making you consume with no thought, only ravenous appetite for more content on a particular theme. If you consume media which is technically about one subject you will and you must consume as much of it as possible in as many different formats as it can be transplanted on toy. The less objectionable it is the better as this makes it easier to take in for as wide an audience as possible, with nothing to challenge anyone or make them think about anything critically, even the things they're presently occupied with. For a video game based on a toy which is so well-loved because of the endless possibility and replayability, it's genuinely remarkable how little this is reflected in the final product.
I don't remember the specific details, but I got The Lego Ninjago Movie Video Game for free at some point in 2020 during one of the world's various pandemic-related lockdowns. Were I a cynical person I might look to my last paragraph and think this was part of Their plan to keep everyone at home, as docile and unthinking as possible. Free was an overpayment. I wasn't expecting it to be a harbinger of societal and artistic erasure, but here we are.