OT: The Avalounge but every time someone posts the quality declines

[S E P H]

Same And I ended up in a good one, so I'm really just assuming that the advice I gave was decent. Who knows

That's what I am starting to realise as well, I mean if there is a chick you like I don't think it is wrong to ask for her number (or asking her out), but once you stop pursuing it should eventually come natural to you. Not that you need to spend four weeks getting into a relationship as you did Abusement, but I've heard a story of my friend where he met his wife at the gas station. They started talking while getting gas, something clicked, and boom they got married later on. Love is werd like that.

 

[Lonewolfe2015]

I'm 100% an overthinker, that's what held me back a long time. Trying to line up 15 moves at once. When it worked it was fireworks, when it didn't it was embarrassing. Now I focus on being the most natural me.

Thus this chick isn't being texted unless she initiates and when she does I'm just going to tease her for awhile.

Now that I'm going to a club without her she's all perked up in texts.

 

[The Abusement Park]

That's what I am starting to realise as well, I mean if there is a chick you like I don't think it is wrong to ask for her number (or asking her out), but once you stop pursuing it should eventually come natural to you. Not that you need to spend four weeks getting into a relationship as you did Abusement, but I've heard a story of my friend where he met his wife at the gas. They started talking while getting gas, something clicked, and boom they got married later on. Love is werd like that.

And that's the thing, love works differently for everyone. Some things that work some wont work for others, just gotta find what makes you the most comfortable and roll with it.

 

[The Abusement Park]

Now that I'm going to a club without her she's all perked up in texts.

Huh. Weird how that works

 

[PAZ]

I'm 100% an overthinker, that's what held me back a long time. Trying to line up 15 moves at once. When it worked it was fireworks, when it didn't it was embarrassing. Now I focus on being the most natural me.

Thus this chick isn't being texted unless she initiates and when she does I'm just going to tease her for awhile.

Now that I'm going to a club without her she's all perked up in texts.

Eh, if you like her give her one more chance... but in my experience staying far, far away from those ones make life easier.

 

[McMetal]

That and confidence in just talking and being yourself around women too. I was always the worst at talking to women and lacking confidence while doing it. Nothing worse than a weird dude that can't finish a sentence talking to you.

Confidence is a lot harder when you have nothing to be confident about. Women can smell "loser" on me a block away, and no amount of false confidence can hide that.

 

[Murzu]

Yeah, My Hero Academia starts off really slow and takes a lot from other pictures most notably Hunter X Hunter, but it gets better and better. You mean shonen - by describing the show as one of those average which doesn't bring anything new yet is overall solid? Because that's how I see it personally.

That is the dilemma I face when watching something I love, such as Food Wars!...do I wait until the season is over after I catch up with it or decide to watch it because I love it so much.

Yeah, a bit like that. Shonen as a category with action and where the main character (and people around him) grow stronger and stronger. But that's well executed in this series. It's not a new formula at all but it's still working.

I decided to wait. I still have my One Piece project going on (around episode 770? at the moment, haven't watched that much lately but will pick the phase up soon again). Also PUBG is taking most of my spare time lol. And I have my Sopranos round two going on also.

While I wait for MHA S3 to finish I can listen to MHA opening 2. I originally did not like this song at all as I though opening 1 was beastly and this was lame compared to it, but now I really dig it:

 

[The Abusement Park]

Confidence is a lot harder when you have nothing to be confident about. Women can smell "loser" on me a block away, and no amount of false confidence can hide that.

Honestly confidence really is/can just be a totally natural part about you. I’m not a naturally confident guy and had that same issue talking to girls

 

[RockLobster]

Trying too hard is 100% a thing. Recently this summer I was hanging out with some friends and I met this girl who one of my friends is absolutely in love with. Hell there was even a joke made about how much he loves her and she just kinda laughed and rolled her eyes. Meanwhile the whole night I proceeded to talk to her but not really in an ulterior motive type of way, just talking with zero expectations of anything. And then yada yada yada the night ended well! Women can smell a try-hard a block away.

 

[Ivan13]

I recently changed jobs and everything was looking peachy, the salary was a big improvement, the company seems better for now and in general it is a step in the right direction. Today however I received very bad news. My GF has been fired at her job and she is just shocked. She worked at the same company I just left and the whole firing is just BS. She was told she is redundant, even though people there are under insane workloads.

Of her colleagues, she is the highest paid, she is the most qualified, puts in the most hours, and despite being biased as hell I believe is the best at her job. Basically the moment I handed in my notice, the attitude towards her shifted. Before she was valued and her opinion was taken into account, and since then they stopped including her in meetings and resorted to what could be described as mobbing.

It pains me to no end that she is being treated in such a way and I'm helpless. Now she feels worthless and doubts herself, which just stings like a MFer. On another hand a guy who kisses ass and watches F1 races and YT videos the entire day was promoted to team lead role. Just makes me lose hope in fairness and human decency. People really are the worst.

 

[ASmileyFace]

I don't think all women and men choose to be like that, but on dating apps they tend to change their full psyche and go into stupid mode. What I mean by this is I always had high standards for chicks (and I hoped that they would have the same for me). So I sort of took that ideology and when I went on Tinder in the past it was hard to find girls. It was even harder to bare because I now know that I passed chicks who I would probably be perfectly happy with who shared all the same interests as me, but didn't quite have the looks. Not that they were ugly, but when you get into swiping dating sites, in the back of your mind you always think that the girl of your dreams is right around the corner.

I am not saying you turn into this type of person Smiley, but all these other chicks could be using the same type of mental processing. Where they like you, but they think their "dream" guy is on the next set of guys. I've come to the conclusion that dating sites bring about the most superficial needs for people even if they don't mean or not. It's under the psychological problem that there are too many choices and the average person gets overwhelmed, so instead of a girl liking you and having a fantastic time, she might try to squeeze to find a guy who could be 5% better in y, 8% better in x, and 2% better in z. Staying in a mountain town where you have a limited number of people does damper your chances though, I will admit that.

You're on to something here for sure. The reason I'm giving up the apps is because I found that I was getting into the same mentality that I bolded in your post. It's addicting to think you're just one right swipe away from the fairy tale ending. I can't fault women from having that same mentality. And to be completely honest I'm just a tiny bit bitter that I haven't been the "dream guy" for someone else.

 

[ASmileyFace]

I recently changed jobs and everything was looking peachy, the salary was a big improvement, the company seems better for now and in general it is a step in the right direction. Today however I received very bad news. My GF has been fired at her job and she is just shocked. She worked at the same company I just left and the whole firing is just BS. She was told she is redundant, even though people there are under insane workloads.

Of her colleagues, she is the highest paid, she is the most qualified, puts in the most hours, and despite being biased as hell I believe is the best at her job. Basically the moment I handed in my notice, the attitude towards her shifted. Before she was valued and her opinion was taken into account, and since then they stopped including her in meetings and resorted to what could be described as mobbing.

It pains me to no end that she is being treated in such a way and I'm helpless. Now she feels worthless and doubts herself, which just stings like a MFer. On another hand a guy who kisses ass and watches F1 races and YT videos the entire day was promoted to team lead role. Just makes me lose hope in fairness and human decency. People really are the worst.

It sounds like you think that she got fired because you left? That's super rough and damn shame. What a morally bankrupt thing for a company to do.

 

[Ivan13]

It sounds like you think that she got fired because you left? That's super rough and damn shame. What a morally bankrupt thing for a company to do.

I do. They forced one girl out like that already. It just sucks, the worst thing being that I can't help her.

 

[henchman21]

Is the company having financial issues?

 

[Ivan13]

Nope. They have new business rolling in on regular basis, and some of the higher paid people resigned and moved on to better jobs, and were replaced by people who in general make far less than the ones they replaced. The CEO is just a petty simpleton who felt slighted I left because "they risked big when they hired me", even though I proved myself time and time again, and was hired to do a job I was overqualified for. In general the people there are great, apart from that one person who no one can stand.

 

[henchman21]

Yeah that seems like a spiteful company.... what complete and utter nonsense... Sorry Ivan, hopefully your gf can find her feet soon.

 

[PAZ]

I recently changed jobs and everything was looking peachy, the salary was a big improvement, the company seems better for now and in general it is a step in the right direction. Today however I received very bad news. My GF has been fired at her job and she is just shocked. She worked at the same company I just left and the whole firing is just BS. She was told she is redundant, even though people there are under insane workloads.

Of her colleagues, she is the highest paid, she is the most qualified, puts in the most hours, and despite being biased as hell I believe is the best at her job. Basically the moment I handed in my notice, the attitude towards her shifted. Before she was valued and her opinion was taken into account, and since then they stopped including her in meetings and resorted to what could be described as mobbing.

It pains me to no end that she is being treated in such a way and I'm helpless. Now she feels worthless and doubts herself, which just stings like a MFer. On another hand a guy who kisses ass and watches F1 races and YT videos the entire day was promoted to team lead role. Just makes me lose hope in fairness and human decency. People really are the worst.

I hope she got a compensation package at least. Being redundant isn't a fireable offense (with no compensation), at least not in Canada. Not sure where you live, but it might be worth looking into employee rights to at least if all she got was an adios.

 

[Bonzai12]

corporate america sucks. I got lots of stories.

bottom line - always watch your back, always look out for #1, always have networks at competitors and other companies, and always keep your resume updated and out there......because by the time you realize you need these things...it's too late.

the "loyal" corporate guy is the one who gets taken advantage of

 

[Ivan13]

I hope she got a compensation package at least. Being redundant isn't a fireable offense (with no compensation), at least not in Canada. Not sure where you live, but it might be worth looking into employee rights to at least if all she got was an adios.

We are in Croatia, she will get compensation from the unemployment office (70% of salary for three months), but money is not the important thing here.

 

[5280]

My last day on the job was today!

 

[MarkT]

Confidence is a lot harder when you have nothing to be confident about. Women can smell "loser" on me a block away, and no amount of false confidence can hide that.

This is huge. Women (generally) want men who are better than other men at something that the women either cares about or recognizes as important/valuable. So you could be the most knowledgeable Avs fan in the world but if she doesn't like hockey that won't help you much if at all. But if you're successful/great at something then that will increase your attractiveness with women. Not only because that's what women like but you'll know you're successful and that will change the way you act.

And even if you don't have anything like that there are things you can do to increase you confidence. First thing is definitely just standing up straight with your shoulders back and your chin up. Second is making yourself look good at least in your own opinion through dress, grooming, diet and exercise. Next is putting yourself in situations where the benefits of success aren't too huge and the consequences of failure aren't too catastrophic, then practicing. Clubs are good for this because rejection is frequent, trivial, and basically anonymous, and the odds you'll find a worthwhile girl is low anyway. Actively not trying to be in a relationship can help too as long as you're still social and want to have fun.

I should note I have a background in psychology, so this isn't just my opinion, although it's also that.

 

[Foppberg]

This is huge. Women (generally) want men who are better than other men at something that the women either cares about or recognizes as important/valuable. So you could be the most knowledgeable Avs fan in the world but if she doesn't like hockey that won't help you much if at all. But if you're successful/great at something then that will increase your attractiveness with women. Not only because that's what women like but you'll know you're successful and that will change the way you act.

And even if you don't have anything like that there are things you can do to increase you confidence. First thing is definitely just standing up straight with your shoulders back and your chin up. Second is making yourself look good at least in your own opinion through dress, grooming, diet and exercise. Next is putting yourself in situations where the benefits of success aren't too huge and the consequences of failure aren't too catastrophic, then practicing. Clubs are good for this because rejection is frequent, trivial, and basically anonymous, and the odds you'll find a worthwhile girl is low anyway. Actively not trying to be in a relationship can help too as long as you're still social and want to have fun.

I should note I have a background in psychology, so this isn't just my opinion, although it's also that.

I can't say I agree too much with this post to be honest. Women in general aren't that superficial, they're just like anyone else, just want a good trustworthy dude who they enjoy being around.

And the second paragraph is pretty common sense stuff, except maybe the bolded.

I don't think women are really that complex/complicated. IMO if you just focus on yourself, have zero expectations, and don't interact with every women like she's 'the one' you'll end up falling into something good.

But i'm no relationship expert.

 

[MarkT]

I can't say I agree too much with this post to be honest. Women in general aren't that superficial, they're just like anyone else, just want a good trustworthy dude who they enjoy being around.

And the second paragraph is pretty common sense stuff, except maybe the bolded.

I don't think women are really that complex/complicated. IMO if you just focus on yourself, have zero expectations, and don't interact with every women like she's 'the one' you'll end up falling into something good.

But i'm no relationship expert.

I think you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I'm not claiming most women are superficial - it's not just about wealth or power or anything - they just want to see that you've got something going for you, essentially. The things you can be good at are incredibly broad because women's interests and desires are also incredibly broad. Basically though, if you're a guy that's not better than other guys at anything (even being smart or well informed or better at dancing or whatever) then you're going to have a very hard time at getting a woman unless she had serious self-esteem issues or is a very unusual girl (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). You can also of course just act like you're better than other guys at something and that can work for initial attraction but not as well for relationships.

All this stuff is pretty hard-wired into us as a species, because originally when women were choosing a mate they needed to make sure they were choosing one who was going to be able to protect her and provide for her and the child. And the easiest way to do this was to just see which man was doing the best at something in the village and choose him (or the best guy she can find).

Of course it's more complicated than that (especially in terms of getting that initial attraction), but that really is how many women tend to act.

As for the bolded part, that's just a basic common sense approach to building up confidence in any field of activity.

And to be clear, women also of course want a trustworthy dude they can enjoy being around, but that alone is what women want in a friend, not in a relationship. Couple trust and compatibility with physical attraction and being really good at something/successful, and you've got a winner.

 

[Lonewolfe2015]

Trustworthy is an expectation, not a benefit of a guy. You need to be confident in your own skin, successful in life, capable of being independent and also happy.

You don't need to be the life of the party to be the above. A lot of guys fail to realize that the dude in the back of the room can be just as attractive as the dude in the middle of the dance floor, just be observant and find the woman looking your way. Then step into her world and show her something about you.

I get annoyed at my friends who assume the above and think I'm not having fun because I'm not being boisterous. I think there's an entire world beneath that life guys lose sight of. Just last night I watched two women at the bar not being hit on once, both not bad looking, both left around 11pm bored.

 

[S E P H]

Trustworthy is an expectation, not a benefit of a guy. You need to be confident in your own skin, successful in life, capable of being independent and also happy.

You don't need to be the life of the party to be the above. A lot of guys fail to realize that the dude in the back of the room can be just as attractive as the dude in the middle of the dance floor, just be observant and find the woman looking your way. Then step into her world and show her something about you.

I get annoyed at my friends who assume the above and think I'm not having fun because I'm not being boisterous. I think there's an entire world beneath that life guys lose sight of. Just last night I watched two women at the bar not being hit on once, both not bad looking, both left around 11pm bored.

Ehhhhhh, but that's not always the case. I've noticed that a lot of girls date complete douchebags because douchebag guys tend to be very confident to the point they're overly confident. It's a reason why none of these relationships ever last permanently and why they come to me asking why it didn't work out. However, it's hard to say to your friend that you're sort of naive in your attraction and should go after nicer guys even if their testosterone level isn't through the roof compared to the dude with the flaming skull tat and the ears-pierced. ~This is a generalization post.