TV: Survivor 48

[Deputy McRizzy]

I remember the standouts like Richard from season one, Rudy the Marine, Boston Rob, the guy who burned his hands, Ozzie, Pavarotti or whatever her name was, the villains, and plenty more, but I couldn't tell you what season it was (except for season one), and I definitely couldn't tell you which location they were at. I remember best the people I liked a lot or didn't like at all.

I’ll never forget that annoying ass bitch Saundra who somehow won twice I think it was? Dreadful person.

 

[Chairman Maouth]

I’ll never forget that annoying ass bitch Saundra who somehow won twice I think it was? Dreadful person.

I was trying to remember her name and the tumbler fell in place when I saw you mention her name. I don't know how she won. I'm almost tempted to go back and watch.

 

[Deputy McRizzy]

I was trying to remember her name and the tumbler fell in place when I saw you mention her name. I don't know how she won. I'm almost tempted to go back and watch.

I hate everything about her.

 

[ThePhoenixx]

Steroids David looks unhinged.

 

[Deputy McRizzy]

Steroids David looks unhinged.

Yeah he looked absolutely massive.


Thought that was another really boring episode. This season pretty much sucks.

 

[Jovavic]

Told the wife that David looks like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast and now she can't stop singing the song when he's on the screen

 

[AlwaysSunnyInTampa]

@shakes the clown

I cleaned up my middle segment. It's a lot more direct and less wordy

I began my intro saying I am an empath who turns into everyone's friend and therapist and my only more uncanny talent is people believing my age, RN background and the craziness of my family story.

I literally cannot be telling the truth more about this. I mean people DO believe my story but they are like "holy crap I can't believe you stuck it out"

So I say "I have realized you can say or do anything you want as long as people like you or don't find you a threat. So I can be your favorite therapist with a penchant for shenanigans and goes home early, or I can be your winner who wears that as a mask. I am going to pedal for every advantage in the game. And I am going to use all the information in the game FOR me or AGAINST someone else. People wanna play like chameleons? I'm gonna play like an octopus. If they can't beat you with brilliance they blind you with bullshit. <-- I've decided "blind you" is more accurate (when they ink you) but also a more vivid and intimidating statement

I then say

I'm gonna leverage my idols if I have to. Make fake ones if I have to. Put them in bags if I have to. I am going to invent alliances that don't even exist. I'm going find people who are scared and tempt them with what they're afraid of. I'm going to seek out people who think too much and make them divide by zero and do something stupid. America is gonna watch in horror and yell

*cut in either Jesse Pinkman screaming "HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!!!"* with "historic reenactment" flashing/blinking

Or I just shout "Why haven't they stopped him yet??!!!??" in mock dramatic horror I'm thinking mock dramatic horror

But I am also thinking about opening the video with Survivor Steiner math where I say everyone has a 10% chance of winning when it's really 1/18 and thats like 0.055% but I'm a Survivor freak and I'm not normal. And I take their combined 180% chance of winning, divide it by 0 and then add my (some random number) and say my own "perchance of winning drastic goes down"

Good or nah?

 

[AlwaysSunnyInTampa]

@shakes the clown

I'm also gonna end the video saying "What are these people gonna do if they find out my girls are survivors and I'm winning for them? Call me and find out. It's winning season and it's showtime"

Is it cheesy or smart?


I'm dead ass gonna look in the camera on my first vote and say "And for my first trick. I'm going to make (whatever their name is) disappear" in keeping with the showtime motif

I'm at worst trying to be consistent with what I ACTUALLY want to say on the show. This isn't me playing a character. You're setting a 36 year old dad bod with mild ADD loose in Uncle JP's tropical paradise fulfilling the greatest dream he ever had at age 14

It's literally gonna take everything I have for me to not go screaming into the woods like the 3 stooges ala Tony Vlachos in Game Changers

 

[Mitch nylander]

Everyone is playing scared. Joe at this point is the easy winner.

 

[AlwaysSunnyInTampa]

Some speculation that the reason the seating was done like that was not that it was specific for Eva, but that it was specific for whoever won that immunity challenge. Otherwise they could find themselves in a Stacy Stillman situation again.

I will never complain about Michele Fitzgerald ever again. Eva winds up on the most stacked tribe in New Era history, doesn't even go to TC until the merge, literally gets handed an idol and probably up to 4 rewards now in addition to maybe missing 1 pre-merge?

This is the easiest path a player has ever had bar none save for maybe Rob and Kim never missing a meal thanks to their buddies always taking them on rewards and playing against probably the worst casts in history. I swear to God this girl is gaining weight out there

Fortunately I don't dislike her because she hasn't really acted like an insufferable ass helmet.

 

[Chairman Maouth]

This is probably the longest post ever in an HF Survivor thread.

I sometimes write in a notepad and do a stream of consciousness thing as I'm watching the episode, and I do no editing of content when it's over. Any editing was for punctuation only. I want to keep what I write honest and live or die by my thoughts at the time. My thing is that I just like to write informally, like we're all friends sitting around a TV, drinking beer and talking about the episode as we watch it. But, if you don't make it all the way through this post it means that I didn't make it interesting enough, and that's my fault.

I'm really liking Kyle. He's kind of crept up on me and flown under the radar while all the other shenanigans were going on. He has a good soul and he really bared it when he was saying he didn't want to hurt people. You know he's the kind of guy who would always be there for you.

I didn't much care for Shauhin early on, but I'm beginning to like him too. I still think his beard looks like something he bought at a novelty store though.

I'm kind of souring on Eva. Her shine has worn off. She gets another advantage, and if there was some way I thought it was rigged I'd be all over it, but I don't see how that could have been done in this case. You never know though. Probst could potentially find a way. However, as I write this, she's on the boat by herself leaving camp. We'll see how easy or difficult it's made for her to come out on top and win another advantage.

Yes, I am obsessed with this shit.

Okay, that seemed like a ridiculously easy challenge. This game is either rigged, or Eva shits horseshoes onto a field of four leaf clover as bunny rabbits with only three feet frolic in the distance.

Yes, I am obsessed with this shit. Echo.

I know a couple of you, mainly Peaser and Shakes, have made some decent counterarguments, but Eva is getting these advantages not because she's winning a lot of challenges — she's getting the advantages because of luck, and that kind of luck is suspicious to me.

If we all took a drink every time Probst said, "Worth playing for?" our livers would have failed us long ago.

What was Mitch counting at the start of the reward challenge?

I'm on the Kyle team now, with Joe and Mitch fighting it out for second, and Shauhin in the mix. Everyone else is way back.

Do you guys pronounce vases with a hard a or a soft a? I've never decided on this.

"Got fun betrayal".

Are you all right, Joe? Does Probst need to call you a medic?

Probst just did a Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway when they announced the wrong winner at the 2017 Academy Awards.

Joe was gracious in defeat. That's why I like him. He's a stand-up guy. That was a good challenge. I couldn't figure it out myself.

Nice to see Kamilla pick Mitch. How can anyone not like Mitch? If you don't like Mitch, your heart is filled with dark matter.

Joe may be doomed. Something unexpected will need to happen to save him.

Sweet creeping Jesus. The episode is barely half over and this post is already longer than a Cory Brooker filibuster. If any of you read this entire thing, I salute you, and then question your life choices.

Now Mary may be on the outs. Now it's back to Joe. I'm getting a headache.

Shauhin going dark with talk of death and disease. Don't recall that happening before.

Joe Logical: "Let's be honest, there's always a chance of someone in your alliance turning on you. My job right now — deep breath — don't get weird, don't panic... ".

Kyle: "I'm a lawyer. I'm not a teacher." Did we know this already? I guess maybe there are some good lawyers in this world.

Pterodactyls!!!!!

Mary is plotting and channeling Russel Hantz. Well, some of us complained about a lack of villains. Jesus. She just told Joe she's writing his name down tonight. That could be her undoing.

Joe Logical makes another appearance. He's playing a very smart game. This guy is so thoughtful and considers all of the angles. He dissects the shit out of everything.

Now Shauhin and Joe are arguing. This could have huge implications. I did not expect that. They both look unhappy with each other, but Joe is calm whereas Shauhin is visibly upset.

Shauhin to Eva, who is Joe's best friend: "Joe is starting to freak out." No, Joe is cool as a cucumber — and talking to Eva about Joe is very dangerous.

Shauhin: "Joe got paranoid. Hey, man, TWICE I had people writing down my name, and I acted cool as a cucumber (that's what I said about Joe). Mr., 'I won the immunity necklace three times,' and now you're freaking out because one person's going to write your name down? What that type of paranoia tells me is that he's willing to flip."

I see classic projection from Shauhin. He's the one yelling and visibly pissed off. Like I said, Joe is cool as a cucumber whereas Shauhin is losing his shit. Joe doesn't run on emotion. His brain is like a computer. He's like a MacBook Pro, whereas Shauhin is a Commodore 64.

Shauhin just moved to the back of the line for me. That kind of delusion isn't appealing. I hope he's thrown on the bus back to where he came from tonight. But man, I will be pissed if Joe goes home tonight.

I'm really into this episode.

Kyle plotting against Joe? I hope not. I like them both.

Tribal Council

David on the jury in a tank top and posing again. The guy is a flake. David has never learned that quiet humility is far more admirable than visible narcissism.

Gotta be honest here. I'm not a big fan of Joe saying he puts his life on the line for people he's never met. Joe just treaded into the territory I mapped out in the previous paragraph about David. However, David is a straight-up narcissist. Joe is anything but a narcissist. I think Joe is playing the game with the hope that if it's a close vote, he may be able to sway someone tonight.

Seems like Mary is also playing the game like she's pleading her case to the jury. Talking about helping her mom with the money she could win.

And Kamilla trumps Mary in the same department. She talks of how hard her parents worked raising her and how she wants to give them the money if she wins. That was effective, and it could save her.

You guys know I'm a bit of a cynic. I was a cynic when it came to Eva finding the advantage in her chips. Now, I gotta be that guy again. Are either Mary or Kamilla pulling a Johnny Fairplay? They may not even be lying, but could one or both be embellishing in a way that would make Brad Marchand say, "Damn, girl! Major respect!" For you Bruins fans, simply substitute Burrows for Marchand.

Shauhin reveals his thoughts and his emotions in his facial expressions. One look at him and you know what he's thinking. He would make a shitty poker player.

"All right, it is time to vote."

Like I said, voting against Joe might be her downfall, and it looks like it was.

I must add though, that with the ending, I don't think there's ever been a more unlikable contestant than David. He just confirmed my opinion that he's a flaming narcissist. He took the spotlight during the vote and made it all about himself. He's an unmitigated, 24-carat piece of shit. David is what 10, 12, and 18-carat pieces of shit aspire to be.

Well, that's it — my stream of unconsciousness unedited.

 

[Peasy]

Man what is this season. They are REALLY scrapping the bottom of the barrel for content.

Kamilla and Kyle acting like they are this massive secrete power duo influencing the entire game, when they literally havent done shit. This secrete alliance has led to no moves.

Last week, Mitch goin on about how he cant vote out Eva, needs to stay with that group for his game. Then first scene after tribal is Mitch going on about how they REALLY need to get out Joe now. Like bruh wtf, you just said 6 hours ago it wasnt needed.

Gotta be some of the worst game players assembled in a single season.

Feel like Kyle wins because they spend so much time on him all season when he literally hasnt made any moves yet. They just always show him contemplating going against what Joe wants but never does.

 

[Deputy McRizzy]

Man what is this season. They are REALLY scrapping the bottom of the barrel for content.

Kamilla and Kyle acting like they are this massive secrete power duo influencing the entire game, when they literally havent done shit. This secrete alliance has led to no moves.

Last week, Mitch goin on about how he cant vote out Eva, needs to stay with that group for his game. Then first scene after tribal is Mitch going on about how they REALLY need to get out Joe now. Like bruh wtf, you just said 6 hours ago it wasnt needed.

Gotta be some of the worst game players assembled in a single season.

Feel like Kyle wins because they spend so much time on him all season when he literally hasnt made any moves yet. They just always show him contemplating going against what Joe wants but never does.

My guess is Kyle rallies everyone to vote Joe out, think they hinted at it already, and that’s his big move to win. Like you said, nobody else has really done anything move wise. Not exactly anyone so dominant at challenges that they can use that as a basis for why they should win either.

As long as Kamilla doesnt win I don’t think I give a shit who does win at this point.

 

[AlwaysSunnyInTampa]

If anyone else but Joe and Shauhin win, this is gonna be the biggest nothingburger winner of all time. The only person to do less than Kyle and Kamilla pretending to be Cops R Us is Mitch. Eva has been Cleopatra carried eating peanut butter out of a jar. Charlie was robbed. Sam lost to someone who never knew what the hell was happening and was literally saved by divine intervention from Sol.

I'm calling it now. If either Kamilla or Eva wins, players are going to begin ruthlessly exterminating the Erica/Maryanne/Rachel/Kenzie archetype

 

[Rodgerwilco]

Steroids David looks unhinged.

I told my wife I bet he was backstage doing a bunch of pushups to get juiced up for tribal. Dude finally got his gallon of milk a day fix lmao.

The silent standing ovation was absolutely hilarious. This guys is a whackadoo, but so funny to watch.