I have to admit I'm a little surprised that you are completely convinced this is going to end the way you've hoped it will. Maybe the COG could be talked into buying a bridge I have for sale?
No, they're not that stupid.
However, maybe
a monorail would be accepted, if it was well presented with a song.
Heck, I bet this was the original pitch for an hockey team in Arizona by moving Winnipeg's.
Jerry Colangelo: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Frozen,
30 players
Hockey team!
What'd I say?
Bettman: Hockey team!
Jerry Colangelo: What's it called?
Board of governors: Hockey team!
Jerry Colangelo: That's right! Hockey team!
Baseball fan: I hear those games are awfully loud...
Jerry Colangelo: A player glides as softly as a cloud.
Nascar fan: Is there a chance the ice could break?
Jerry Colangelo: Not on your life, my redneck friend.
Glendale citizen: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Jerry Colangelo: You'll be given cushy jobs.
Winnipeg citizen: Were you sent here by the devil?
Jerry Colangelo: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Glendale mayor: The ring came off my pudding can.
Jerry Colangelo: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Glendale's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Hockey team!
Jerry Colangelo: What's it called?
All: Hockey team!
Jerry Colangelo: Once again...
All: Hockey team!
Sane Glendale citizen: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
Bettman: Sorry, Miss, the mob has spoken!
All: Hockey team!
Hockey team!
Hockey team!
[big finish]
Hockey team!
Winnipeg citizen: Hockey... D'oh!