OT: OT-“Look, maybe I didn’t say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.”

[Chainshot]

Well a weekend when I need the money from work and we're instead going to get hit by a storm. Faaaaak.

 

[MarkusKetterer]

They must yell at you

 

[TheDawnOfANewTage]

Welp. The wife and I are officially getting separated. We decided a week or so ago. I'll be moving out within the month. We're getting along pretty well, though. I think we're both taking solace in the fact that we're still going to be friends because there's definitely still a lot of love between us. She just thinks we'd be better off as friends, which I'm ok with.

We both look at the relationship as a great thing that happened to us, especially since it brought us our son. Lots of tears, but I feel like we're on to the acceptance phase of grieving.

I am excited for some independence, and I look forward to the challenge of being a separated 36 y/o man with a kid and trying to meet women. I'm not even sure what my age range for women is since I haven't had the need to think about it until now. Strictly looking for hook-ups for a while. It'll be a bit before I'm even ready to hook-up with a woman, but thinking about it is a nice distraction from the sadness. Also, I'm diving into hobbies and traveling. Should be fun, but the fulfillment of a good relationship and a good, loving woman is going to be a tough thing to lose.

Sorry to hear it, but honestly sounds like you’re approaching it as well as possible. Don’t think the 36 y/o with a kid thing is crazy nowadays, half my potential interests have a kid or two- just put the kid first and it’ll be alright.

Well a weekend when I need the money from work and we're instead going to get hit by a storm. Faaaaak.

One day at a time, just stay safe- I’ve been gone, is this a new job?

 

[TheMistyStranger]

 

[Chainshot]

Sorry to hear it, but honestly sounds like you’re approaching it as well as possible. Don’t think the 36 y/o with a kid thing is crazy nowadays, half my potential interests have a kid or two- just put the kid first and it’ll be alright.



One day at a time, just stay safe- I’ve been gone, is this a new job?

Doing gig work to try to bridge until I get something real. Bad weather makes things weird. Dancing the razor's edge so this one is Debby downer for me.

 

[MarkusKetterer]

I hate people, and decided I can’t really be a hermit and/or curmudgeon. So this year I’ve been trying to get out of that mind space and get to know people, and it’s coming back to bite me in the ass in a big way.

Like there’s a woman that lives in the apartment next door who has a dog that she can’t control, but the dog listens to me and is extremely laid back. It’s a Bull mastiff and pitbull mix that basically acts like a lap dog with me. He ignores everyone and everything, until the other day when I relaxed on his leash to text my lady friend, and he just took off to go attack a couple of dogs he hates. Like this dog took off so quickly that it took a couple of seconds to even register wtf is going on, and by that point he had f***ed up one of them, and in the fight for me to even grab his leash and collar he made it worse. Now that lady is getting evicted because it was the fourth complaint about him this year.

And another check on the “be a hermit” side, another person asked me to accompany her somewhere to pick up some wacky tobaccy. So I went. It was supposed to be a grab and maybe chill out for 10 minutes thing. Instead it ended up being five hours and it ruined my 20 years of sobriety. It ended up being a trap house, and everyone there was smoking heroin, meth, and/or fentanyl, and I got second hand high af. I successfully avoided this shit for that long, but now because of that night all I want to do is chase that high again. She can’t get why I’m pissed at her, even though I explained why I am. The only good thing that I can look at is that I refused everything I was offered there, so I didn’t really ruin it, but now it’s the most tempted I’ve felt in 20 years to fall off the wagon. The only thing that’s stopping me is that I know it’s not a good thing, but even typing this story is enticing.

And lastly, I have a 17 year old as of this Sunday. Normally she spends the day with me. This year, she’s spending it with her boyfriend. I am not a fan of this event.

 

[KiwiGriff]

I hear ya. People are dicks.

I'd say you should be proud of not touching any of the stuff on offer. You weren't in control of the place you ended up (or at least unaware). You were in control of what you did once you were there and those choices were the right ones.

Also I dread the day my daughter is 17 and doing that to me. She's 12 and we haven't hit the world of drama that's just around the corner yet. Scratch the birthday and see if you can do something with her the next weekend.

 

[Chainshot]

I hate people, and decided I can’t really be a hermit and/or curmudgeon. So this year I’ve been trying to get out of that mind space and get to know people, and it’s coming back to bite me in the ass in a big way.

Like there’s a woman that lives in the apartment next door who has a dog that she can’t control, but the dog listens to me and is extremely laid back. It’s a Bull mastiff and pitbull mix that basically acts like a lap dog with me. He ignores everyone and everything, until the other day when I relaxed on his leash to text my lady friend, and he just took off to go attack a couple of dogs he hates. Like this dog took off so quickly that it took a couple of seconds to even register wtf is going on, and by that point he had f***ed up one of them, and in the fight for me to even grab his leash and collar he made it worse. Now that lady is getting evicted because it was the fourth complaint about him this year.

And another check on the “be a hermit” side, another person asked me to accompany her somewhere to pick up some wacky tobaccy. So I went. It was supposed to be a grab and maybe chill out for 10 minutes thing. Instead it ended up being five hours and it ruined my 20 years of sobriety. It ended up being a trap house, and everyone there was smoking heroin, meth, and/or fentanyl, and I got second hand high af. I successfully avoided this shit for that long, but now because of that night all I want to do is chase that high again. She can’t get why I’m pissed at her, even though I explained why I am. The only good thing that I can look at is that I refused everything I was offered there, so I didn’t really ruin it, but now it’s the most tempted I’ve felt in 20 years to fall off the wagon. The only thing that’s stopping me is that I know it’s not a good thing, but even typing this story is enticing.

And lastly, I have a 17 year old as of this Sunday. Normally she spends the day with me. This year, she’s spending it with her boyfriend. I am not a fan of this event.

Hey man, you know in your bones that shit is not worth it. You have gotten up every day for 20 years and chose sober, you got this. f*** them, f*** that stuff, you have too much to offer to let that crap f*** with you.

 

[Chainshot]

My daughter turns 18 in a couple of weeks and then my son turns 20 in a couple months. Where has the time gone?

 

[oldgoalie]

My daughter turns 18 in a couple of weeks and then my son turns 20 in a couple months. Where has the time gone?

seriously. what the actual f***.

 

[TehDoak]

Doing gig work to try to bridge until I get something real. Bad weather makes things weird. Dancing the razor's edge so this one is Debby downer for me.

If the storm is bad enough you can go lootin'

 

[Chainshot]

If the storm is bad enough you can go lootin'

Not my style.

 

[MarkusKetterer]

I hear ya. People are dicks.

I'd say you should be proud of not touching any of the stuff on offer. You weren't in control of the place you ended up (or at least unaware). You were in control of what you did once you were there and those choices were the right ones.

Also I dread the day my daughter is 17 and doing that to me. She's 12 and we haven't hit the world of drama that's just around the corner yet. Scratch the birthday and see if you can do something with her the next weekend.

I saw her yesterday. Took her shopping, out for dinner, and borrowed my friends ‘64 Malibu to go for a drive with her.

 

[Dubi Doo]

@MarkusKetterer

I just want to say, I truly admire your strength. To be able to cut something so addictive out of your life is admirable. I'm not sure I'd be able to do it, which is a big reason why I stuck with mary J instead of pushing the limit.

Kudos to you, and keep on the good fight!

 

[Dubi Doo]

Also I dread the day my daughter is 17 and doing that to me. She's 12 and we haven't hit the world of drama that's just around the corner yet. Scratch the birthday and see if you can do something with her the next weekend.

They really have no idea how much they mean to us, do they? I guess they'll never truly understand until they become a parent themselves.

 

[KiwiGriff]

They really have no idea how much they mean to us, do they? I guess they'll never truly understand until they become a parent themselves.

Nope. They don't. I've told my wife I will (somehow) be forcing my kids to come on an annual holiday with us once they've left home. We might have to fund it all but i dont want them to drift off as they become adults.

I look back and realize as independent as I am, when I left home, after the first year or two it would've been like I dropped off the planet for my parents.

 

[sabremike]

seriously. what the actual f***.

They were 3 and 5 respectively the last time the Sabres made the playoffs.

 

[Chainshot]

They were 3 and 5 respectively the last time the Sabres made the playoffs.

The older one was born during the 2004 lockout. Both have been to games in Buffalo but the younger one does not remember it well. It was a loss to the Islanders where the chocolate cake before the game was more memoriable.

 

[MarkusKetterer]

@MarkusKetterer

I just want to say, I truly admire your strength. To be able to cut something so addictive out of your life is admirable. I'm not sure I'd be able to do it, which is a big reason why I stuck with mary J instead of pushing the limit.

Kudos to you, and keep on the good fight!

Thanks. I’ve had a lot of shit happen in my life, which led to the addictions. Even since then I haven’t been tempted to use again. Because I know it won’t be beneficial. But now that I experienced that high again, it’s all I can think about and the only thing stopping me is knowing I can’t be a functioning addict again.

There’s a lot of me annoying people so they talk me out of it going on right now. But I know it’ll pass. I just hope it’s sooner instead of later.

 

[TehDoak]

Fun. At my previous role, I was let go with zero warning, zero documentation, and, to quote my manager 'not being a good fit'. Now, There were performance issues leading up to me being let go, but those were related to a death in the family and me being in the hospital. And there was never any even mention of issues by my manager other than 1 outburst by him because a project was taking too long.

The contracting company is now trying to fight my unemployment claim.

In the end, it's not a ton of money (likely 2 weeks of UI) as I was VERY lucky to land on my feet quickly.

And I get it, as a contractor with a company, they can let you go for no reason whenever they want.

But, if they don't document an issue and don't let me know there is an issue until the day they let you go......not sure how they fight a UI claim.

 

[Chainshot]

Fun. At my previous role, I was let go with zero warning, zero documentation, and, to quote my manager 'not being a good fit'. Now, There were performance issues leading up to me being let go, but those were related to a death in the family and me being in the hospital. And there was never any even mention of issues by my manager other than 1 outburst by him because a project was taking too long.

The contracting company is now trying to fight my unemployment claim.

In the end, it's not a ton of money (likely 2 weeks of UI) as I was VERY lucky to land on my feet quickly.

And I get it, as a contractor with a company, they can let you go for no reason whenever they want.

But, if they don't document an issue and don't let me know there is an issue until the day they let you go......not sure how they fight a UI claim.

I lost my UI case here in Florida years ago - had the emails from the company about getting the okay to do what I was doing, namely living in CR while officially a resident of Florida that my manager and his manager said was fine. And it did not matter. Florida denied my claim after having filed for two weeks of UI, billed me for 200-odd dollars per week they had paid out in UI, and would not re-open on an appeal. Didn't matter that I was sacked for something I was told was okay.

 

[TehDoak]

I lost my UI case here in Florida years ago - had the emails from the company about getting the okay to do what I was doing, namely living in CR while officially a resident of Florida that my manager and his manager said was fine. And it did not matter. Florida denied my claim after having filed for two weeks of UI, billed me for 200-odd dollars per week they had paid out in UI, and would not re-open on an appeal. Didn't matter that I was sacked for something I was told was okay.

When I was laid off in Florida (during the 2020 pandemic), I was a 1099 Contractor who made a LLC to pay myself.

Technically I could have filed unemployment (or got a COVID business loan, technically), but I knew Florida was just going to be a cluster f***, especially given I was a 1099 -> Self Employed. Even though I paid unemployment insurance.

What a disfuctional state, the one essential service they have to manage, and they intentionally make it so hard to use no one can use it.

 

[MarkusKetterer]

 

[TheMistyStranger]

View attachment 899179

Every day I see more evidence that reality is breaking.

 

[Chainshot]

View attachment 899179

Bugs looks good in retirement.