Welcome to The Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, PHASE TWENTY-THREE SKIDOO!
“Wait, there’s more?” You’re damn skippy, there’s more. And more after this. And then some. I even have the next set of categories picked out, but that’s then and this is now, innit. I mean, the entirety of the Quackverse is “then,” but most of you know what I mean. Milord, have someone explain it to you in terms you can understand.
I figured we should do the hockey categories we have left now, before the end of this awful season, while we are still in the middle of the f***ing sport. I mean, the summer will be much more interesting either way, but we will hopefully be looking ahead then, and not behind. I am firmly #TeamFiresale, as you know.
So put on your oven mitts – it’s about to get hot in here.
THE STUPID SHIT
Team Spite Hockey Players - This was my brother’s idea – you know how spiteful our family is. We already picked a “Spite Hockey Person,” but here we will pick a full line (3F, 2D, 1G) of hockey players. They can be Current or Legend players. Rather than putting them in a box and beating the shit out of them for all eternity, here is what we will do – we will give their abilities handicaps when they play in our home arenas. It’s exactly like “Videogame Boost,” only exactly the opposite.
So for example, if the Pervert chose my forward Bunny for one of these, then every time Bunny played for me against the Sexpos in Olympic Stadium, his speed, shooting accuracy, and/or defensive stats, etc., would be dampened, instead of the usual off-the-charts greatness. See what I mean? So you could go after your rival, or you could just go for players you despise. Like BiggE could pick goalie Billy Smith just because Smith was a c***, regardless of who he plays for in the Quackverse. You could also go after the bigwigs on all different teams so you have a slight advantage against six different squads. It’s up to you.
These handicaps won’t cripple the players – they will just take away some of their edge.
- Spite F
- Spite F
- Spite F
- Spite D
- Spite D
- Spite G
THE RATIONAL SHIT
- Team International Hockey Team – This is the international hockey team you want to have. We may not take all the members with us – we may just take their blouses – but you can use whatever criteria you want.
- Team Classic Actor – This has to be someone who appeared in a film before 1968. I know that’s pretty random, but that’s when I was born, so suck it. As far as who you can and can’t pick goes, here is what we will do. You can’t pick an actor who was already chosen as someone’s Team Actor or as someone’s anything else, but as long as they weren’t explicitly chosen for something they are fair game. Don’t worry about whether any of that actor’s films were chosen. If you have already chosen a classic actor, you can move that one into this slot and pick a modern actor for this – you just have to tell me who to put where. You can of course have all classic actors if you want.
- Team Classic Actress - See above. It’s the same, but with actresses.
- Team Painter/Artist – This is a painter or artist who you will pick to be your Team Painter or Artist. I hope that isn’t too complicated to follow. We can use the term “artist” semi-loosely, but it should be someone in the visual arts (so nothing to do with music) not including moving pictures (so no film or video directors, etc.) I don’t want to say more than that in case I pick-tip someone’s idea. I know many of us don’t keep up with painters and artists, but remember – Google is your friend.
- Team Re-Draft II – This allows you to go back in your list and replace a pick you made with something else. You can replace hockey players or anything else EXCEPT FOR DEALER’S CHOICE AND WILDCARD (or anything like those which I have forgotten). Any rules which applied to the original pick apply to this – so if you want to replace an album, for example, you can’t choose an album by someone else’s Team Band.
- Team Dessert – We have done Team Candy and Team Cookie before, but not Team Dessert, so that’s what we are doing. You can pick a candy or cookie if you want, but don’t pick anything that has been taken before.
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for future phases, so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Hollywood Cannon - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Striiker - Allentown Attack
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Hollywood Cannon - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Striiker - Allentown Attack
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| D.C. Mutineers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay Firesticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Tijuana Toads |
| Tampa Bay Firesticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Tijuana Toads | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
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