Welcome To The Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, HISTORIC PHASE TWENTY!
We have expanded, and now I feel bloated, like my stomach is full of gas, like a gas giant, like Saturn or Uranus. It was painful. The good thing is that now we are more whole than we were. We now have at least one Toe, which should help our balance, and we all are now saddled with hockey shits, which seems fair since the misery is now spread more evenly. The bad thing is that the rest of us have to replace the hockey shits we lost, but the good thing is that the procedure to do so can f*** off over in the corner and wait.
To relieve some of this relentless pressure, we need to fart out some gas in the form of selections. That means it’s now high time for motherf***ing HISTORIC PHASE TWENTY! It’s a big one. Simply YOOGE! We have been going at this for like almost two years, I think, which is insane and awesome, and that accomplishment deserves some insane and awesome categories. I have been holding on to some of these for just this reason. It’s a little weird that we got all the way here with 20 teams, but when we crack open HISTORIC PHASE TWENTY! we have 21 teams, but f*** it – numbers are stupid and Math can suck it. Just ask Rebel. Let’s go!
THE RATIONAL SHIT
- Team Sidekick - someone real or fictional who will always (within reason) be by your side. Strict NO DUPLICATES rules apply, so it can’t be someone from anything which is taken – meaning Chewbacca is unavailable since Star Wars is taken. You can of course take Chewy if you are Striiker, because you have Star Wars. In fact, it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to look at what you already have and see if there is a sidekick in one of your franchises. But it’s up to you.
- Team Body of Water - it is a body of water which you need to pick, so pick an ocean, lake, river, pond or creek, or whatever. I’m sure Young Sandwich will pick somewhere nice to fish – that’s #Lore. Think about your own franchise’s #Lore, or theme, or some shit. It’s not complicated, but it is cool.
- Team Serial Killer - can be real or fictional. NO DUPLICATES. This is one of those where you would take this sick f***er and drop him stealth-like into someplace where you want him to wreak havoc – your rival’s society, the armed camp of alien invaders, an outer space country club where a bunch of rich outer space c***s are drinking Arnold Palmers, etc. Or you could have him just hang around with all of your people. I imagine Chuck doing something like this.
- Team Tattoo - duplicates won't matter in here - it's a free-for-all. Presumably, everyone in your org will get this tattoo somewhere on them to signify that they belong – not like a branding, but like a badge of honor. I got this idea from the anime “Fairy Tail.” I don’t like tattoos normally, but it looks good in there. Milord will probably get neck tattoos. You can of course choose not to give your team tattoo to your spite members (phrasing), or you could tattoo them and then burn it off over and over and over and over.
- Team Sports Team Fandom - you pick a team in the world of sports and you get their fans. You can’t choose any team which has already been taken for something, so check the Defunct and Non-Defunct Sports Teams, and everything else.
- Team Franchise Stadium Series Location - you choose a stadium somewhere to play outdoors at. Normal NO DUPLICATES would apply here - like I have Liverpool, so no one could pick Anfield for their stadium. Jojo picked LSU as his college football team, so no one could pick Tiger Stadium, or whatever that stadium is called. And so on.
- Team International Football Team – with the shambolic World Cup upcoming in Qatar, this makes for a good category for those of you who wouldn’t otherwise care about it. But it is also just awesome for all of us who do care about it. You don’t get them just for this horrible World Cup, thank f***, but forever, since we are dragging them to the Quackverse.
- Team College Course – this is the only college course you can take with you, so think about which course you would like to have available not just to yourself, but to your whole organization. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something you have taken in real life – it can be something you go out and find. If it is too outlandish-sounding, like it seems made up, you’ll have to provide proof that it exists somewhere. I don’t think we have picked anything that would overlap with this, so you shouldn’t have to worry about existing duplicates. It’s unfortunate that I need to say this, but I do – I learned my lesson from the expansion draft. If someone picks something earlier than you in this phase, you cannot pick that thing yourself. That kind of NO DUPLICATES standard still stands.
- Team Cover Song II - This is a version of a song recorded by a band/artist that was not the original recording artist. Note that the most famous version of many songs would actually qualify here. Don’t worry about duplication with bands that were already taken - you just can’t pick songs that were specifically, individually chosen before. It's the same as Team Cover Song I, except that it's another one, innit.
- Team Hot Sauce – this is the only hot sauce you’ll have (unless you have one already). Speaking of which, NO DUPLICATES. I don’t know what constitutes a “hot sauce,” but then I don’t care to be strict about it, so knock yourself out. Shit like “liquid uranium” or any sex stuff will get you thunderslapped. Pick an actual hot sauce.
- Team Laser Gun - I have been gagging to do this one since the beginning. This is something where you can pick a laser gun from some franchise (not Star Wars or anything else which has already been chosen) or find a picture of one online and give it a name. So basically do a Google search and find one you like, unless there is one in a book or somewhere else you like. This is a HANDHELD laser gun, so a laser pistol or a laser rifle would be fine, but a laser cannon would be completely f***ed. It doesn’t necessarily have to be specifically a “laser” gun – if there is some sort of amped-up sci-fi pistol or rifle in a videogame or somewhere that you want, go for it. I think I have finally found a category which Striiker will like.
- Team 80s Nude Scene – Speaking of sex stuff, this is juicy, innit. The most important thing here is that you NOT F***ING POST A CLIP OR GIF OF THE ACTUAL NUDE SCENE, NOT EVEN A JOKE OF IT IN A "JOKE" SPOILER. In other words, be cool - we don't want to get in trouble. There are so, so many great options here. For the sexually liberated and/or free-thinking perverts in here, knock yourself out - it should be quite an experience researching this. For those of you who are not comfortable tackling or handling (phrasing) this literally, check this out. You can address "Nude Scene" homophonically (not that there's anything wrong with that) or in some other way I haven't thought of. You are free to use your imagination. Don't worry if someone already has the movie or actor/actress/other in question. The idea here is that the original owner of that/them will still keep it/them, but you will be able to take a copy of the "nude scene" with you as well. I never said anything about a wank bank in space, because that would be unbecoming. The idea is not to objectify a person, but rather to celebrate the human body. Or whatever.
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for future phases, so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Striiker - Allentown Attack
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Striiker - Allentown Attack
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| D.C. Mutineers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay Firesticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Tijuana Toads |
| Tampa Bay Firesticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Tijuana Toads | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
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It's back to normal now. He doesn't keep us waiting.
