Minor hockey tryouts (was: How to motivate a novice (or any) player for tryouts?)

[oldunclehue]

Because everyone is an expert on everything: epidemics, inflation, wildfires. The phrase "critical thinking" now means "I have an opinion and I should criticize the guy doing the thing." I suppose this board would be quieter if people only spoke up about things they had actual knowledge about, but people really need to shut up and let the guy they asked to do the thing actually do the thing they asked him to do.

Everyone believes they are entitled to what they want and want right now.

This will be my last year coaching EVER. I'm so done with parents....every single year since U7 hockey, the same parents cause the same drama over entitlement. My oldest son will give AAA a try next year, if he doesn't make it, he will enjoy high school hockey and move on with life after high school. Hockey Canada has dropped the ball with all its woke ideology and its showing more every single year.

 

[Slats432]

Everyone believes they are entitled to what they want and want right now.

This will be my last year coaching EVER. I'm so done with parents....every single year since U7 hockey, the same parents cause the same drama over entitlement. My oldest son will give AAA a try next year, if he doesn't make it, he will enjoy high school hockey and move on with life after high school. Hockey Canada has dropped the ball with all its woke ideology and its showing more every single year.

Interesting. I have had great parents for the last several years. The odd hockey crazy one, but that is to be expected.

 

[Yukon Joe]

Because everyone is an expert on everything: epidemics, inflation, wildfires. The phrase "critical thinking" now means "I have an opinion and I should criticize the guy doing the thing." I suppose this board would be quieter if people only spoke up about things they had actual knowledge about, but people really need to shut up and let the guy they asked to do the thing actually do the thing they asked him to do.

It's a tough balance, because I've definitely heard from coaches "I won't talk to parents".

I feel like that's the wrong message. In particular for me, if it's a player safety issue, you damn well better believe I'm going to say something to a coach.

It also depends a little bit because parents can be paying so much money. Because at a certain point if I'm shelling out tens of thousands of dollars I'd want to see my kid play. (of course - I don't pay that kind of money)

That being said though - short of player safety I don't say "boo" to a coach other than "hi". I don't think complaining to a coach (or to a ref for that matter) would make any difference, and would only make things worse for my kid.

(other than player safety)

 

[Yukon Joe]

So my middle son is trying out for a spring team. I've kind of soured on spring hockey, but his older brother played for this team so he wants to as well.

I've been to the tryouts (heck I helped man the bench). My son plays Tier 2, but I thought he more than held his own against even AA players.

But I had the owner of the team (although apparently not the person selecting it) ask "so why did he tier so low"?

That's going to decide it, isn't it. Short of being an absolute superstar out there, they're going to take a AA or Tier 1 player over him, because that's the "safer" way to go.

So...

Middle kid as not offered a spot.

Older kid (who wasn't event trying out) was asked to play. He was offered to just pay for tournament fees "and you can come out to the practices if you want to". We agreed, but I suspect that rubbed middle kid the wrong way.

We hear about a different team that is having a tryout. $25. We've been here before with older kid - they're probably just trying to get enough players to fill out the tryout. Whatever - $25 for an hour's ice time (actually 90 minutes) isn't bad.

I show up. Sure seems like most of the kids know each other. It's a winter team (HSL) looking to fill out a spring roster. That's how it goes.

Middle kid kills it.

Coaches are asking him "who do you play with?" because they don't know him. They tell parents afterwards "so lots of tough decisions - we'll let you know in 4-5 days".

Middle kid is sent an email in the morning asking him to play.

I'm just so happy for him.

Now look - this might be a terrible team. It might wind up being a terrible waste of money. But right now, there were 40+ kids out there and my kid was so good out there, I'm just happy for him. He is not given to big emotions, but I could tell he felt good.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

This group sounds like there should be a documentary, hopefully not a Dateline murder, just crazy hockey parents. Good to see things aren't changing anytime soon. I was never kicked out because another parent was, but have seen a few and had the RCMP/Police called to remove parents. Yeh, the sleeping around seemed to be common, wasn't limited to the just a fellow parent but a coach, manager or club exec

I’ve seen a ridiculous amount of stupid shit from parents since my daughter started playing, but this year is on a different level.

I feel like one mom slamming another’s head into the sink, and then all of us being thrown out of the rink is pretty bad, even for hockey parents.

I’ve never had the police come to any game I was at, but it got close several times.

Why were the police called when you were there? Fights?

 

[timekeep]

I’ve seen a ridiculous amount of stupid shit from parents since my daughter started playing, but this year is on a different level.

I feel like one mom slamming another’s head into the sink, and then all of us being thrown out of the rink is pretty bad, even for hockey parents.

I’ve never had the police come to any game I was at, but it got close several times.

Why were the police called when you were there? Fights?

Being a former official in the 80s, I leave them alone. But once in peewee we were at our local rival and the referring was brutal and one sided. We had a mother that let the refs know about it, she was kicked out but watched from a little window in the lobby. The RCMP were called to remove her. Had a parent assault a coach because his kid wasn't played much, we had another one where a few parents were letting the refs know how bad they were.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Being a former official in the 80s, I leave them alone. But once in peewee we were at our local rival and the referring was brutal and one sided. We had a mother that let the refs know about it, she was kicked out but watched from a little window in the lobby. The RCMP were called to remove her. Had a parent assault a coach because his kid wasn't played much, we had another one where a few parents were letting the refs know how bad they were.

Nothing too crazy then… or really that I haven’t witnessed myself as well.

So many parents are just f***ing nuts and have no impulse control - and think little Johnny is the greatest - which is why these kids are so entitled.

Last season was my daughter’s first time playing AA, and the coach stuck her on the third line with two coal miners.

She felt like it was because she was the only girl and I wouldn’t let her use that as an excuse.

She carried her line which she dubbed the “misfits” and did her best, but they rarely got her the puck and it was frustrating as hell to watch.

No matter what she did, this coach glued her to line three and she never got to play with the skilled kids, save a random shift here or there.

Like any parent I was getting really annoyed, but the difference is I kept my mouth shut and told my daughter to keep working hard all season.

She worked her ass off all off season as well and a new coach was hired this summer, and he put my daughter on the top line after about a month.

She’s now playing with two 50+ goal scorers and having the most fun she’s ever had playing hockey.

That’s how it should work IMHO.

Keep your mouth shut and let your kid earn it and find his/her way without mommy or daddy threatening the coach.

You are going to have asshole coaches at times, or maybe your kid just isn’t as good as you think, but artificially trying to force them into a better role because you “say so” is a shitty life lesson to teach them.

 

[Yukon Joe]

You are going to have asshole coaches at times, or maybe your kid just isn’t as good as you think, but artificially trying to force them into a better role because you “say so” is a shitty life lesson to teach them.

So look - if you genuinely, 100% think your kid can make the NHL and earn millions of dollars - I guess being a crazy hockey parent might be worthwhile.

But for 99.99% of us - hockey is all about life lessons. Any time my kid has had an issue with a coach my only response has been "well you need to go talk to your coach about this". I would never dream of trying to talk to a coach about playing time, or linemates, or whatever.

Hell - even when I am one of the coaches - if I have an issue with my kid I'll ask one of the other coaches to say something instead of me.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

So look - if you genuinely, 100% think your kid can make the NHL and earn millions of dollars - I guess being a crazy hockey parent might be worthwhile.

But for 99.99% of us - hockey is all about life lessons. Any time my kid has had an issue with a coach my only response has been "well you need to go talk to your coach about this". I would never dream of trying to talk to a coach about playing time, or linemates, or whatever.

Hell - even when I am one of the coaches - if I have an issue with my kid I'll ask one of the other coaches to say something instead of me.

So many parents are delusional that’s the thing -

We have a major d-bag dad on my daughter’s team who thinks his kid is the shit.

He literally thinks his kid is better than this insanely talented AAA kid, who got a spot over his boy on the middle school team.

So this dad wrote a scathing note to the coach of the middle school coach telling him how wonderful his kid is and how he messed up cutting him etc etc.

No joke.

And his son, Johnny, picks up this attitude and thinks he’s some star.

He even told the legit superstar kid on my daughter’s team, Joe, he’s better than him.

Joe is on pace for over 100 goals and made the all-star game - but this Johnny kid thinks he’s better than him because his daddy says so.

When Joe won his first player of the week award, Johnny went around telling his teammates that Joe’s dad paid people off so Joe would win the award.

You can’t make this shit up.

It’s what I deal with all the time with the parents I’ve been around.

 

[Minnesota Knudsens]

So many parents are delusional that’s the thing -

We have a major d-bag dad on my daughter’s team who thinks his kid is the shit.

He literally thinks his kid is better than this insanely talented AAA kid, who got a spot over his boy on the middle school team.

So this dad wrote a scathing note to the coach of the middle school coach telling him how wonderful his kid is and how he messed up cutting him etc etc.

No joke.

And his son, Johnny, picks up this attitude and thinks he’s some star.

He even told the legit superstar kid on my daughter’s team, Joe, he’s better than him.

Joe is on pace for over 100 goals and made the all-star game - but this Johnny kid thinks he’s better than him because his daddy says so.

When Joe won his first player of the week award, Johnny went around telling his teammates that Joe’s dad paid people off so Joe would win the award.

You can’t make this shit up.

It’s what I deal with all the time with the parents I’ve been around.

This is pretty tame compared to what you’re describing, but I find some of the parents’ yelling a bit obnoxious and embarrassing at times. I especially don’t care for it when it’s constant negativity or screaming at referees.

I don’t mind if you want to talk about something your own kid is doing wrong, but some of the moms on our team will complain loudly about other kids on the ice right in front of their parents. There is zero need for that.

Our game on Saturday, my son scored to make the game 1-0, and a group of moms did some crazy classless chant about the town we were playing. Then they went on to smoke us 5-1. It was all so bad.

The dads are just engaging in a lot of vicarious living. I get that. I do that too to some extent. But some of these dudes just won’t shut up about how amazing their kids are. They are so ridiculously emotionally invested in a bunch of 13 year olds, to the point where it begins to seem weird.