Jiminy Cricket
#TeamMeat
- Mar 9, 2014
- 2,209
- 2,125
At the age of 99 I have been around the block a few time`s. And I get lot`s of people, usually 10-20 message`s per day, Asking me for advice. So here are some of the thing`s I have learned over the year`s.
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- Smoke a lot of cigarette`s. They alway`s calm me down when I am stressed, I have gone through probably around 50-60 thousand Pack`s of cigarette`s in my life. They are completely healthy, the people telling u they are bad are the same people trying to push pill`s down your throat for everything, Lord only know`s how much money Big Pharma is making. I have 0 lung damage in 99 year`s of smoking.
- Buy Now, Pay Later. U never know when u will pass away, so there is no need to Werry about future bill`s. I just charge everything on credit card`s, I am not werry`d at all about debt. The United S`tate`s of AnMerica has over 30 trillion Dollar`s in debit and u have these finance nerd`s werry`d about a little bit of credit card debit. Whenever the bill`s start rolling in I just slice up my credit card`s & forget about them. We could pass the **** away at any moment so who care`s.
- Collect Welfare. This one is straitforward. U are literally getting free money from the goverment. U can get even more money by having kid`s, I pump out new kid`s every year 2 increase my benefit`s. And I am driving around in a 90 thousand dollar Escalade with a C5 Corvette in the garage for Sunny day`s.
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