Okay, leaving work in a couple minutes so I’ll just write down a few points.
Leading up to the date, I wasn’t nervous, which for me is odd. I’m usually very nervous. As soon as she walked in (we were meeting at a coffee shop) it all hit me, and throughout the date I was completely unable to settle myself down. At least if I’m nervous beforehand I can deal with it, but right then and there? Uh oh.
So instantaneously I’m like… panicking. I say hi and give her a hug but I wasn’t smiling. I probably gave her a stone cold look, the first look I had EVER given her.
So throughout the evening, I managed to give her the impression that 1. My family is crazy, 2. They hate me, 3. They hate anyone I bring around… I mentioned that my dad was always kind of quick to jump to getting angry (which is only SORT of true, obviously not something to say on a first date), and THEN managed to say that it rubbed off on me and I’m an angry person. LOL. Furthest thing from the truth, but I said it.
Before the date I told myself I was going to kiss her at the end of the date (because I’m usually a softy and don’t after a first date) and wasn’t going with the vibe I was getting at the time, and she went in for a hug, and noticed I was going for the kiss and said “ohâ€, and we kinda semi-half-terribly made out. It was bad. Really bad.
I also jokingly called her a ***** at one point- she didn’t take kindly to that.
I didn’t really realize how terrible the date was until she pointed it out to me. So I just told her yep, she was right, I am not the person I came across as in the date but there’s no reason for her to think I’m different than who she met. I goofed. I really regret it because she was really cool. Yolo.