The Last Days of American Crime
with people who wish they had made better life choices.
Near future. The US is riven by crime, chaos and bad cable tv. Guns are everywhere, and the militarized police are prone to shoot you on sight or throw you in jail where they can pit you against other people in gladitorial combat for their own amusement. The grimy populace yearns to escape to the nearby utopia of Canada, where actual freedom and sane governance exist away from the simmering cauldron of hate, bullets, stupidity and Republican health care models that is the US. So it starts off as basically a documentary of 2020. But there's a rub; the US has developed API, the American Peace Initiative. It's an electronic signal (presumably spread via 5G towers and Gates Foundation vaccines) that neutralizes people's desire to commit crimes. It's kind of a Clockwork Orange effect via wifi. The US population explodes in outrage. Because life isn't worth living without the FREEDOM to blow your neighbour's head off, is it.
Brick is a gangster and bank robber in Detroit who's busy settling scores and banging chicks on the eve of the introduction of API. He holds court under a huge Irish flag in a pub...but has an accent that's neither Irish nor American. He agrees to take on a job robbing a mint of bills about to be decommissioned and burned...for reasons...by a guy who's the insane son of a massive mobster. Who hates his dad. They want to escape to Canada along the bridge between Detroit and Windsor...which can't possibly go wrong. The "love interest" is a hacker chick with no tits. Lots of shooting, lots of stupidity, lots of Netflix rage.
It has the quiet restraint of Tarantino, the deep character exploration of Guy Ritchie, the narrative economy of the Hobbit trilogy, and the soulful humanity of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. It has a rare 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes...and it really made me reconsider my policy of trying not to look at reviews of movies before I see them. It's 2 and 1/2 hours of why the f*** am I watching this. You'd wear out the scroll button on your mouse if I tried to recount all the stupid plot holes and things that didn't make sense. Watch it with a friend or significant other so you can heckle it together. Fail. Massive, massive fail.
On Netflix.
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Can you blame us?