Movies: Last Movie You Watched and Rate It | Part#: Some High Number +3
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OhCaptainMyCaptain
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ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
The Irishman
with anyone who has ever been in a mob movie before in the history of time. Seriously. Jimmy Cagney and George Raft probably have cameos somewhere.
Martin Scorsese's long-anticipated return to mob movies unites Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Al Pacino, Harvey Keitel, and everyone else to bring us the long, lonnnnnnnnnnng story of Frank Sheeran, mob enforcer bodyguard to Jimmy Hoffa, best friend to Russel Bufalino, the head of the Scranton-Barre crime family (yeah, Scranton-Barre may only have enough juice for a minor league hockey team but somehow they field a big league mob family), husband to a wife who doesn't say much, and father to a couple of terrified daughters. We follow him from sometime after freshly returning from WWII to his final, lonely days in an old age home. We get meetings, car rides, smoke breaks, flashbacks, more meetings, Christmas with the kids, shouting, and the occasional mob rubout. Over a long, long, period of time.
I was really looking forward to this. I'm a huge mob movie fan, and I was really psyched for the band to get back together, but I have to say I was really disappointed. As much as I hated the digital de-aging (De Niro spent most of the movie looking like he was wearing a latex 1990 Robert De Niro mask), I think my biggest disappointment was the gaping hole of a main character that was Frank Sheeran. He had none of Ace Rothstein's authority, none of Jimmy Conway's menace...hell, even Paul Vitti from Analyze This! had some emotions here and there. Frank...he just gets into mob stuff because he does. He gets used to shooting people in the war, starts selling steaks that fell off the back of his truck to whatever mobster Bobby Canavale played, then randomly meets Russ Bufalino, and does mob stuff. Because...I really don't know. I think back to the beginning of Goodfellas, and we get the opening sequence of stabbing and shooting Billy Bats in the trunk of Henry Hill's car, followed by the voiceover: "Ever since I was a kid, all I ever wanted to be was a gangster." With Frank, he's just...there. There's none of the impact. And I realize it's not that *kind* of story per se, but it just doesn't grab you. It's just the biographical story of a guy who happens to be a mob hitman (once in a while). It involves way too much Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino at his Al Pacino shoutiest), and the digital de-aging really sucked. I realize this movie was stuck in development hell for the last twenty years, but they really needed to make this thing when the guys were still young enough to pull it off. There's a particularly egregious sequence when Frank beats up a local grocer for inappropriately touching his daughter and while you can digitally de-age De Niro's face, you can't digitally de-age the actor. It's laughably obvious from his stiff movements he'd have trouble fighting off an angry hamster at this point. Anna Paquin was wasted in a throwaway role with one (albeit very telling) line, and the babysitter from Goodfellas turns up as Jimmy Hoffa's wife.
An overrated, overlong, crashing bore.
*edit* But an overrated, overlong crashing bore that's still better than the vast majority of movies that come out on any medium today.
with anyone who has ever been in a mob movie before in the history of time. Seriously. Jimmy Cagney and George Raft probably have cameos somewhere.
Martin Scorsese's long-anticipated return to mob movies unites Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Al Pacino, Harvey Keitel, and everyone else to bring us the long, lonnnnnnnnnnng story of Frank Sheeran, mob enforcer bodyguard to Jimmy Hoffa, best friend to Russel Bufalino, the head of the Scranton-Barre crime family (yeah, Scranton-Barre may only have enough juice for a minor league hockey team but somehow they field a big league mob family), husband to a wife who doesn't say much, and father to a couple of terrified daughters. We follow him from sometime after freshly returning from WWII to his final, lonely days in an old age home. We get meetings, car rides, smoke breaks, flashbacks, more meetings, Christmas with the kids, shouting, and the occasional mob rubout. Over a long, long, period of time.
I was really looking forward to this. I'm a huge mob movie fan, and I was really psyched for the band to get back together, but I have to say I was really disappointed. As much as I hated the digital de-aging (De Niro spent most of the movie looking like he was wearing a latex 1990 Robert De Niro mask), I think my biggest disappointment was the gaping hole of a main character that was Frank Sheeran. He had none of Ace Rothstein's authority, none of Jimmy Conway's menace...hell, even Paul Vitti from Analyze This! had some emotions here and there. Frank...he just gets into mob stuff because he does. He gets used to shooting people in the war, starts selling steaks that fell off the back of his truck to whatever mobster Bobby Canavale played, then randomly meets Russ Bufalino, and does mob stuff. Because...I really don't know. I think back to the beginning of Goodfellas, and we get the opening sequence of stabbing and shooting Billy Bats in the trunk of Henry Hill's car, followed by the voiceover: "Ever since I was a kid, all I ever wanted to be was a gangster." With Frank, he's just...there. There's none of the impact. And I realize it's not that *kind* of story per se, but it just doesn't grab you. It's just the biographical story of a guy who happens to be a mob hitman (once in a while). It involves way too much Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino at his Al Pacino shoutiest), and the digital de-aging really sucked. I realize this movie was stuck in development hell for the last twenty years, but they really needed to make this thing when the guys were still young enough to pull it off. There's a particularly egregious sequence when Frank beats up a local grocer for inappropriately touching his daughter and while you can digitally de-age De Niro's face, you can't digitally de-age the actor. It's laughably obvious from his stiff movements he'd have trouble fighting off an angry hamster at this point. Anna Paquin was wasted in a throwaway role with one (albeit very telling) line, and the babysitter from Goodfellas turns up as Jimmy Hoffa's wife.
An overrated, overlong, crashing bore.
*edit* But an overrated, overlong crashing bore that's still better than the vast majority of movies that come out on any medium today.
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ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
The Rise of the Footsoldier
with English people who can only form words with the vowel sound "oi". Also f*** and c***. That's most of the script right there.
The loose story of Carlton Leach, a football hooligan who did football hooligan stuff with the Inter City Firm in the...80's? 90's? I think? Then he got into providing security for dodgy pubs, raves, drug deals, and got in over his head when a deal goes wrong with the Turkish mob. Then the movie forgets all about him and becomes about some drug dealers who got snuffed in Essex.
Waste of time. Wants to be edgy but loses its way. Literally nobody likable in it.
On Amazon Prime if you've got nothing whatsoever to do.
with English people who can only form words with the vowel sound "oi". Also f*** and c***. That's most of the script right there.
The loose story of Carlton Leach, a football hooligan who did football hooligan stuff with the Inter City Firm in the...80's? 90's? I think? Then he got into providing security for dodgy pubs, raves, drug deals, and got in over his head when a deal goes wrong with the Turkish mob. Then the movie forgets all about him and becomes about some drug dealers who got snuffed in Essex.
Waste of time. Wants to be edgy but loses its way. Literally nobody likable in it.
On Amazon Prime if you've got nothing whatsoever to do.
Killer Orcas
Registered User
I agree was a waste of three hours thankfully watched at home over 4 sessions. Would have fallen asleep in theatre watching this snoozer.
ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
It clocks in at just short of 4 hours, iirc. Needed to split that over two nights over here.
ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
Midsommar
with people who are either annoying and American, or super-nice and Swedish.
Dani is a young, hot, blond chick in a dead relationship with her boyfriend Christian, who's juuuuuuuuuuuust about to dump her when Dani's sister commits suicide and kills their parents in one night. Ouch. Heavy. Wow. How do you leave a chick in that situation? Months later, she's still distraught and she overhears Christian and his friends planning a trip to Sweden to visit their bud Pelle's family commune/cult for their midsummer ceremony. Despite being dumbasses, theses guys are somehow all PhD students and looking for cool anthropological stuff to do...and they of course invite Dani along with them so she doesn't feel bad. Because what boys' summer trip to Sweden wouldn't be complete without the eggshell-brittle basket-case girlfriend your one buddy just won't dump?
They arrive at the sinister pagan commune to find...a whole lot of really, really nice people. In clean, white clothes, living in a bright forest clearing in nice wooden huts in the blazing sun of mid summer. Everyone really is super nice. I mean, they're pagan cultists and everything, but damn if they aren't the sweetest, most hospitable pagan cultists you've ever met. Yeah, they have some customs that are weird by our standards (communal housing, killing old people, etc etc etc)...but they're just so damn nice. There is a bit of an edge to them, though. Did I mention killing people? Yeah. They do that there. Quite a bit, in fact. Particularly on the super-special rite that only occurs once every 90 years...like this year! Don't worry, I'm sure our plucky group of outsiders won't do anything silly or offensive. Like piss on the tree where they put the ashes of their cremated elders. Or break into the hall of sacred texts after being told not to. Or be black.
Is it a horror movie if it's all done in the day and everyone is just a really nice person you'd count yourself lucky to meet in the street? Well, you're still dead either way, I guess. Turns a lot of tropes on their heads, and I liked it a lot better than the director's other big screen release, Hereditary.
And let this movie be a warning to those who just won't end their dead-end relationships.
with people who are either annoying and American, or super-nice and Swedish.
Dani is a young, hot, blond chick in a dead relationship with her boyfriend Christian, who's juuuuuuuuuuuust about to dump her when Dani's sister commits suicide and kills their parents in one night. Ouch. Heavy. Wow. How do you leave a chick in that situation? Months later, she's still distraught and she overhears Christian and his friends planning a trip to Sweden to visit their bud Pelle's family commune/cult for their midsummer ceremony. Despite being dumbasses, theses guys are somehow all PhD students and looking for cool anthropological stuff to do...and they of course invite Dani along with them so she doesn't feel bad. Because what boys' summer trip to Sweden wouldn't be complete without the eggshell-brittle basket-case girlfriend your one buddy just won't dump?
They arrive at the sinister pagan commune to find...a whole lot of really, really nice people. In clean, white clothes, living in a bright forest clearing in nice wooden huts in the blazing sun of mid summer. Everyone really is super nice. I mean, they're pagan cultists and everything, but damn if they aren't the sweetest, most hospitable pagan cultists you've ever met. Yeah, they have some customs that are weird by our standards (communal housing, killing old people, etc etc etc)...but they're just so damn nice. There is a bit of an edge to them, though. Did I mention killing people? Yeah. They do that there. Quite a bit, in fact. Particularly on the super-special rite that only occurs once every 90 years...like this year! Don't worry, I'm sure our plucky group of outsiders won't do anything silly or offensive. Like piss on the tree where they put the ashes of their cremated elders. Or break into the hall of sacred texts after being told not to. Or be black.
Is it a horror movie if it's all done in the day and everyone is just a really nice person you'd count yourself lucky to meet in the street? Well, you're still dead either way, I guess. Turns a lot of tropes on their heads, and I liked it a lot better than the director's other big screen release, Hereditary.
And let this movie be a warning to those who just won't end their dead-end relationships.
ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
He Never Died
with Henry Rollins. And people who should be very, very careful around Henry Rollins.
Have you ever thought: "Boy, they should make a movie that takes full advantage of Henry Rollins being unable to communicate emotions beyond anger!"? Neither did I. But they did, and it's actually not that bad.
Rollins is Jack. Jack's just done with everyone, man. He wakes up in the morning, goes to church, plays bingo, buys...stuff from a medical student, then goes to bed. He doesn't do human interaction at all. A girl shows up on his doorstep claiming to be his daughter, he doesn't even flinch. Two thugs break into his apartment, he beats them senseless then shoves them out the door without even asking why they're there. Turns out he's got a good reason. He's been around a long time. A really long time. And when you think about it...yeah. If you lived for a lot longer than the usual human lifespan, you wouldn't care too much about human relationships. Especially if you were the only one of your kind, and had nobody to relate to. Still, a sympathetic waitress shows up (along with his kid) and they try to break Jack out of his shell. But like I said...there's a good reason he's in there.
Yeah, it's okay. Quirky, offbeat and gory in places. On Netflix now.
with Henry Rollins. And people who should be very, very careful around Henry Rollins.
Have you ever thought: "Boy, they should make a movie that takes full advantage of Henry Rollins being unable to communicate emotions beyond anger!"? Neither did I. But they did, and it's actually not that bad.
Rollins is Jack. Jack's just done with everyone, man. He wakes up in the morning, goes to church, plays bingo, buys...stuff from a medical student, then goes to bed. He doesn't do human interaction at all. A girl shows up on his doorstep claiming to be his daughter, he doesn't even flinch. Two thugs break into his apartment, he beats them senseless then shoves them out the door without even asking why they're there. Turns out he's got a good reason. He's been around a long time. A really long time. And when you think about it...yeah. If you lived for a lot longer than the usual human lifespan, you wouldn't care too much about human relationships. Especially if you were the only one of your kind, and had nobody to relate to. Still, a sympathetic waitress shows up (along with his kid) and they try to break Jack out of his shell. But like I said...there's a good reason he's in there.
Yeah, it's okay. Quirky, offbeat and gory in places. On Netflix now.
ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
Cargo
with Martin Freeman and Australian people you wouldn't have heard of.
Zombie apocalypse down under. Andy (Freeman) lives on a houseboat with his wife and infant daughter, foraging and scavenging where they can. His wife looks into a shipwreck while Andy sleeps to find a birthday surprise for him...and surprise! It's a zombie! Chomp chomp, she's infected, and Andy is distraught. We get a little info on the zombie plague hereabouts; it takes about 48 hours to set in, amber crusts begin to form over mucous membranes while the victim sleeps, and the former government distributed aid packs containing spring-loaded spikes in orange handles to shoot into your brain while you still can. Fun! Andy tries to get his wife to a rumoured hospital then crashes his car, having been to the same driving school as Lori Grimes. Only person in world driving...still crashes. Not long before the little missus gets a hankering for Andy-burgers, and he's bitten too. But uh-oh...there's still the wee one to take care of. Not a lot of options for Andy, but he's got to find someone to take her. The ticking clock commences.
Actually has some genuine heart for a zombie movie. Refreshing that it doesn't take the American viewpoint that all humans are inherently evil and will instantly revert to a Road Warrior-based economy when the chips are even slightly down. Andy manages a bit of sweetness and human decency to him despite the circumstances, but the aboriginals he meets aren't quite convinced.
Not bad. Zombies and feels. On Netflix now.
with Martin Freeman and Australian people you wouldn't have heard of.
Zombie apocalypse down under. Andy (Freeman) lives on a houseboat with his wife and infant daughter, foraging and scavenging where they can. His wife looks into a shipwreck while Andy sleeps to find a birthday surprise for him...and surprise! It's a zombie! Chomp chomp, she's infected, and Andy is distraught. We get a little info on the zombie plague hereabouts; it takes about 48 hours to set in, amber crusts begin to form over mucous membranes while the victim sleeps, and the former government distributed aid packs containing spring-loaded spikes in orange handles to shoot into your brain while you still can. Fun! Andy tries to get his wife to a rumoured hospital then crashes his car, having been to the same driving school as Lori Grimes. Only person in world driving...still crashes. Not long before the little missus gets a hankering for Andy-burgers, and he's bitten too. But uh-oh...there's still the wee one to take care of. Not a lot of options for Andy, but he's got to find someone to take her. The ticking clock commences.
Actually has some genuine heart for a zombie movie. Refreshing that it doesn't take the American viewpoint that all humans are inherently evil and will instantly revert to a Road Warrior-based economy when the chips are even slightly down. Andy manages a bit of sweetness and human decency to him despite the circumstances, but the aboriginals he meets aren't quite convinced.
Not bad. Zombies and feels. On Netflix now.
aufheben
#Norris4Fox
GlassesJacketShirt
Registered User
NyQuil
Big F$&*in Q
I actually saw it in the theater. When the "loom" appeared I just about threw my drink at the screen.
Talk about a disconnect between the trailer and the actual film.
Arizonan God
Registered User
I watched Marriage Story (dir. Noah Baumbach) and really, really enjoyed it. I've been really mixed on Baumbach in the past, but I think he nailed it here. So well written, acted and directed. Presents a narrative shared between our two main characters in a way which makes you empathize with them, but also allows the audience to be frustrated with their decisions at times. Scarlett Johansson gives her best performance, and Adam Driver matches her throughout the whole film.
8/10
8/10
GlassesJacketShirt
Registered User
I personally couldn't stand the disconnect between the underdeveloped lore and the awful writing/direction. One of the worst uses of narration I've seen in some time. And the action......outside of one good scene near the end, it didn't have enough to keep me excited, and what was on display often underwhelmed despite bullets curving. And the Loom.......yes, dear god. It completely destroyed the punk rock stylings the rest of the film tried to establish.
Funnily enough, I think this would be a great idea for a remake. Take some lessons from John Wick and apply it in a darker, more intriguing universe.
ItsFineImFine
Registered User
- Aug 11, 2019
- 3,770
- 2,429
f*** I loved that movie, thought it was badass and was waiting for a sequel which was supposed to be made. I was also like 15 at the time I saw it. Probably should watch more action films without paying attention to reviews.
8/10.
SJSharksfan39
Registered User
Little Women - 4 out of 5
I was a little confused by the non-linear nature of the story, but I loved how this film came together at the end and all four of the "little women" were acted brilliantly. I think I'm starting to really love watch Florance Pugh. Really loved her in Fighting With My Family, and she was excellent here as well.
I was a little confused by the non-linear nature of the story, but I loved how this film came together at the end and all four of the "little women" were acted brilliantly. I think I'm starting to really love watch Florance Pugh. Really loved her in Fighting With My Family, and she was excellent here as well.
GlassesJacketShirt
Registered User
It's one of those instances where I much preferred it when I was an adolescent, but time has clearly been unkind to it. What once looked cool now feels embarrassing at times, and I rarely say that about "old" films.
ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
Hey, gimme a break. Got three months of reviews to get out of my system.Maybe we should change the thread title. Last Movie ProstheticConscience Watched and Rated seems more accurate.
What fetish does ScarJo have about tying shoelaces? She does so in both Marriage Story and Jojo Rabbit. (is there some kind of secret Scarlett symbolism there that escapes me? or an inside joke about her previous film?)
The Laundormat: 6.5/10
There's a certain charm to the proceedings and all the actors do their jobs well, but the lack of structure and focus really weakens the whole product. The story is told in a style very similar to The Big Short, but it takes direct at the camera expository asides a few strides too far in indulging the magnetism and acting prowess of Banderas and Oldman, which in its own way was a delight to consume. The problem is the movie takes too many of these opportunities undercut by narrative detours that touch on so many different events that by the time everything converges on the fall of Mossack Fonesca, the viewer had just gotten done watching a sloppy build up only to come to the conclusion that is beat over your ahead from the start of the movie to the finish that Mossack and Fonesca were morally bankrupt opportunists who weaponized their knowledge of the law to exploit people like so many others. If the film hadn't spent so much time trying to hammer that point home, maybe the ending might have felt more satisfying but by the end I was left thinking "I mean yeah...no shit."
A movie that aimed to hit the highs of The Big Short, which in and of itself wasn't a perfect movie, but The Laundromat falls well short. I don't think it was a waste of time to watch it but it certainly felt like a waste of potential too.
1917: 9.5/10
On of the most enthralling and breathtaking cinematic experiences I've ever had in a theater. It's a technical and cinematography masterwork. As someone who is more or less "over" the war film genre, 1917 found a way to be unique and stunning. The only knock I can give it is that the story wasn't deeper and some moments of survival felt too fantastic to be real but that barely affects the quality of the whole work.
There's a certain charm to the proceedings and all the actors do their jobs well, but the lack of structure and focus really weakens the whole product. The story is told in a style very similar to The Big Short, but it takes direct at the camera expository asides a few strides too far in indulging the magnetism and acting prowess of Banderas and Oldman, which in its own way was a delight to consume. The problem is the movie takes too many of these opportunities undercut by narrative detours that touch on so many different events that by the time everything converges on the fall of Mossack Fonesca, the viewer had just gotten done watching a sloppy build up only to come to the conclusion that is beat over your ahead from the start of the movie to the finish that Mossack and Fonesca were morally bankrupt opportunists who weaponized their knowledge of the law to exploit people like so many others. If the film hadn't spent so much time trying to hammer that point home, maybe the ending might have felt more satisfying but by the end I was left thinking "I mean yeah...no shit."
A movie that aimed to hit the highs of The Big Short, which in and of itself wasn't a perfect movie, but The Laundromat falls well short. I don't think it was a waste of time to watch it but it certainly felt like a waste of potential too.
1917: 9.5/10
On of the most enthralling and breathtaking cinematic experiences I've ever had in a theater. It's a technical and cinematography masterwork. As someone who is more or less "over" the war film genre, 1917 found a way to be unique and stunning. The only knock I can give it is that the story wasn't deeper and some moments of survival felt too fantastic to be real but that barely affects the quality of the whole work.
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Arizonan God
Registered User
Never put this connection together. I don’t think it’s a specific reference, just a moment for both of those characters to have a tender moment (obviously, it has more symbolic resonance in JoJo Rabbit)
GlassesJacketShirt
Registered User
I remember watching that a long time ago, pretty close to a 1/10 type film for me. In fact, outside of mother!, I can't think of another movie since RofF that was a noticeably worse experience than this one. Rather watch Velocipastor for the second time.
ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
Easily the worst movie I've seen in quite a while. It's funny how the movie just abandons the main character and the 2nd half is about something pretty much unrelated to him.
ProstheticConscience
Check dein Limit
The Magician
with Scott Ryan and...what, 3 other people?
Handheld shakycam follows hitman Ray Shoesmith (Ryan) through a few days of him taking care of business in the underbelly of Melbourne. We witness kidnappings, murders, serious discussions with former friends, and a lot of mugging for the camera.
The movie that originated the far superior tv show Mr. Inbetween that also follows Ray around, this time with no shakycam and narration. If you can get it, just watch that instead. You can see a few ideas in the movie that were developed further for the show, which gives Ray an ex-wife, young daughter, girlfriend (for a while) and an older brother dying slowly of MS or some other motor neuron disease. Like I said, much better than the movie.
with Scott Ryan and...what, 3 other people?
Handheld shakycam follows hitman Ray Shoesmith (Ryan) through a few days of him taking care of business in the underbelly of Melbourne. We witness kidnappings, murders, serious discussions with former friends, and a lot of mugging for the camera.
The movie that originated the far superior tv show Mr. Inbetween that also follows Ray around, this time with no shakycam and narration. If you can get it, just watch that instead. You can see a few ideas in the movie that were developed further for the show, which gives Ray an ex-wife, young daughter, girlfriend (for a while) and an older brother dying slowly of MS or some other motor neuron disease. Like I said, much better than the movie.
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