Movies: Last Movie You Watched and Rate it | {Insert Appropriate Seasonal Greeting Here}

[The Macho King]

Like most, in fact, almost all remakes, Road House never really found a sense of purpose, nor, in this case, did it even seem to seek one. It brought less to the original, not more or better or different. Remakes can at least tenuously stand with their originals, but it takes something--a manic performance in Scarface; a reconstruction of the material in The Magnificent Seven and A Few Dollars More; imaginative set pieces that the original lacked in Sorcerer; even respect for the craftsmanship of the original, 3:10 to Yuma and The Thing. Road House has none of these things. The characters could be played by cartoon characters just as effectively. Dalton could be played by a wily fox ala Zootopia, the villains by various Roger Rabbit-type weasels and McGregor could be cast as Warner Brothers' Tasmanian devil. Probably would have worked just fine, maybe better. Road House is just product trying to attract the MMA crowd.

I guess I thought the MMA thing makes sense if you're trying to explain why a guy is a badass fighter or something... IDK it was dumb but it's the type of dumb I could stomach. Honestly even McGregor's character - terrible, over the top, somehow has accent sounds like someone doing a bad impression of an Irish accent even though I know for a fact he's Irish... he would have been totally fine in this role if the movie was better. I don't need Daniel Day Lewis (or frankly, even an actor as good as Jake Gyllenhall) to sell this shit. Just... have a better script, better structure, better pacing.

The original Road House is an accidental masterpiece. For all of the dumb - and there's a ton of f***ing dumb - it's paced incredibly well, it hits all of the right beats, and it gives you enough of "oh shit that's cool" to make all of the dumb an intensifier instead of a detractor.

 

[Babe Ruth]

Freejack (1992)

In the distant, dystopian future of 2009.. wealthy, dearly departed consumers are buying freshly deceased bodies from the 9os. And in an act of attempted immortality, implanting their preserved brains in to said corpses.
Very good cast, but dumb script. Emilio Estevez is the 9os guy who reluctantly has his body snatched.. and then when he resists, is hunted by Mick Jagger (seriously).
Movie is mostly an extended chase between Jagger and Estevez. Cast also has Anthony Hopkins, pretty fresh off Silence of the Lambs, and Rene Russo (looking very good).
Guess I rate this a C-.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Cocktail. If forced to pick the MOST 80s movie, this very well may be my choice. The surface reasons are obvious like style and music, but even thematically and in execution this is very, very 80s. Our protagonist's dream is to ... franchise snazzy bars? We've got characters who are THE BEST at their specific thing, telling a know-nothing teacher to shove it, some snobs vs. slobs class confrontations, surprise pregnancy, the promotion of AND criticism of greed, the reinforcement of the importance of family and, to top it off, a last minute rush/sneak past a guard/confrontation/love declaration.

Tom Cruise comes across like a psychopath. But the movie itself is kinda manic so I suppose his mania makes sense. But salty ol' piece of Australian driftwood Bryan Brown is genuinely good as the charming but ner-do-well drunk philosopher mentor. Elisabeth Shue deserved better both on-screen and off.

 

[The Macho King]

Cocktail. If forced to pick the MOST 80s movie, this very well may be my choice. The surface reasons are obvious like style and music, but even thematically and in execution this is very, very 80s. Our protagonist's dream is to ... franchise snazzy bars? We've got characters who are THE BEST at their specific thing, telling a know-nothing teacher to shove it, some snobs vs. slobs class confrontations, surprise pregnancy, the promotion of AND criticism of greed, the reinforcement of the importance of family and, to top it off, a last minute rush/sneak past a guard/confrontation/love declaration.

Tom Cruise comes across like a psychopath. But the movie itself is kinda manic so I suppose his mania makes sense. But salty ol' piece of Australian driftwood Bryan Brown is genuinely good as the charming but ner-do-well drunk philosopher mentor. Elisabeth Shue deserved better both on-screen and off.

God damn what a blast from the past there. Talk about a movie they don't make any more. This one... maybe for the best though lol.

Edit: I take it back. Not for the best. The movie is kind of nonsense but it's very watchable. Throw 40 million at a movie about a dude with a job - doesn't happen anymore unless it stars Tom Hanks.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

God damn what a blast from the past there. Talk about a movie they don't make any more. This one... maybe for the best though lol.

It's definitely not good. And it's not so-bad-it's-good either. But I don't know if I would call it full-on bad.

The fatal flaw is that it can't really decide if it wants to be fun jet-setting lifestyle porn or a "serious movie with a message." The former accounts for the most entertaining stuff and the latter is just a cliched trip to bummersville.

Honestly it's pretty akin to the original Road House in a lot of ways, but that movie has the good sense to realize you just want to watch the good looking man with the silly skills take care of business.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

"That nostalgic revisionist pit"?---are you f***in' daft? Or have you been reading those esoteric academic film journals again that your doctor warned you against? I listed good remakes, that's all.

Touched a nerve? You wouldn't want to pass for someone who mistakenly liked a bad film, would you?

 

[Babe Ruth]

Touched a nerve? You wouldn't want to pass for someone who mistakenly liked a bad film, would you?

I like the dunce cap, didn't realize that was an emoji option..
That said, I'm curious about this 'nostalgic revisionist pit', if you'd be willing to elaborate on it(?)
A movie concept I reference often is 'nostalgic obligation'..ie- where Star Wars fans keep consuming terrible sequels & prequels, accurately anticipating they'll be bad.. but still robotically watch out of nostalgic obligation to the originals.
Now you have me curious about nostalgic revisionism.. I assume it means remembering (dumb) movies better than they were?

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

I like the dunce cap, didn't realize that was an emoji option..
That said, I'm curious about this 'nostalgic revisionist pit', if you'd be willing to elaborate on it(?)
A movie concept I reference often is 'nostalgic obligation'..ie- where Star Wars fans keep consuming terrible sequels & prequels, accurately anticipating they'll be bad.. but still robotically watch out of nostalgic obligation to the originals.
Now you have me curious about nostalgic revisionism.. I assume it means remembering (dumb) movies better than they were?

Yes, that's exactly what I meant, and it is nothing from film or media studies as suggested. I'm just really annoyed by all that "the original was something else" attitude surrounding this particular film.

Your obligation idea is pretty interesting, I certainly fell for it (as I'm sure someone like @shadow1 did too) for many beloved horror franchises. Star Wars fans certainly are a different breed, and the revisionism sure is strong with these ones.

 

[shadow1]

Yes, that's exactly what I meant, and it is nothing from film or media studies as suggested. I'm just really annoyed by all that "the original was something else" attitude surrounding this particular film.

Your obligation idea is pretty interesting, I certainly fell for it (as I'm sure someone like @shadow1 did too) for many beloved horror franchises. Star Wars fans certainly are a different breed, and the revisionism sure is strong with these ones.

95% of my hobby reviewing movies on this site is based on this concept.

 

[Rodgerwilco]

Samurai Cop (1991) - 0/10 or 9/10 (depends on your taste)

Wow where to start with this one. What an absolutely stupidly brilliant movie... or is it brilliantly stupid? Who knows. Matt Hannon plays loose cannon officer Joe 'Samurai' Marshall who is on assignment from San Diego to take down the infamous Japanese Katana gang. Along with his trusty sidekick Frank (Mark Frazer). As they work to build a case against the Katana gang they get into multiple scuffles with some of the members, of course, killing and kicking everyone's ass in their path.

Also, every woman in this movie is sexy and every one of them (except for 1 apparently) want to f*** The Samurai Cop.

The dialogue is shockingly abysmal, dubbing is horrendous, the acting is even worse, the visuals and camera angles are jarring, the color saturation is strikingly bad, the special effects are... well... special.

Overall, the film reminded me a lot of those games you play at the arcade where you use the toy guns and shoot at the screen. The audio is washed out, the acting is non-existent, and the shooting is way over the top, but it's still a fun experience overall.

I found the music to actually be the only thing about this movie that wasn't objectively horrible.

If you like "So Bad They're Good" movies then this is the film for you. If you can't do those kind of movies, then better to skip this one. Thanks again to @KallioWeHardlyKnewYe for the recommendation, absolutely hit the nail on the head for my taste.

 

[Unholy Diver]

View attachment 842338
Samurai Cop (1991) - 0/10 or 9/10 (depends on your taste)

Wow where to start with this one. What an absolutely stupidly brilliant movie... or is it brilliantly stupid? Who knows. Matt Hannon plays loose cannon officer Joe 'Samurai' Marshall who is on assignment from San Diego to take down the infamous Japanese Katana gang. Along with his trusty sidekick Frank (Mark Frazer). As they work to build a case against the Katana gang they get into multiple scuffles with some of the members, of course, killing and kicking everyone's ass in their path.

Also, every woman in this movie is sexy and every one of them (except for 1 apparently) want to f*** The Samurai Cop.

The dialogue is shockingly abysmal, dubbing is horrendous, the acting is even worse, the visuals and camera angles are jarring, the color saturation is strikingly bad, the special effects are... well... special.

Overall, the film reminded me a lot of those games you play at the arcade where you use the toy guns and shoot at the screen. The audio is washed out, the acting is non-existent, and the shooting is way over the top, but it's still a fun experience overall.

I found the music to actually be the only thing about this movie that wasn't objectively horrible.

If you like "So Bad They're Good" movies then this is the film for you. If you can't do those kind of movies, then better to skip this one. Thanks again to @KallioWeHardlyKnewYe for the recommendation, absolutely hit the nail on the head for my taste.

did you watch th Rifftrax version or the "real" one?

 

[Rodgerwilco]

did you watch th Rifftrax version or the "real" one?

Im not sure what Rifftrax is, but I didn’t know there was different versions. What’s the difference?

 

[Unholy Diver]

Im not sure what Rifftrax is, but I didn’t know there was different versions. What’s the difference?

Rifftrax is where some of the guys from Mystery Science Theater watch and riff on bad movies, and this was one that they did a few years back

 

[Rodgerwilco]

Rifftrax is where some of the guys from Mystery Science Theater watch and riff on bad movies, and this was one that they did a few years back

Ah no, I watched the original “real” version.

 

[Osprey]

Yes, that's exactly what I meant, and it is nothing from film or media studies as suggested. I'm just really annoyed by all that "the original was something else" attitude surrounding this particular film.

Your obligation idea is pretty interesting, I certainly fell for it (as I'm sure someone like @shadow1 did too) for many beloved horror franchises. Star Wars fans certainly are a different breed, and the revisionism sure is strong with these ones.

In other words, if people are more complimentary towards films than you've decided is deserved, it's revisionism and that really annoys you. Seems reasonable.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

In other words, if people are more complimentary towards films than you've decided is deserved, it's revisionism and that really annoys you. Seems reasonable.

I knew that by writing "Star Wars fans", I'd have some witty comeback from. Your comment on the remake wasn't even really annoying, but yeah, anybody who suddenly feels like the original really was in fact a great film should be considered a nuisance. Absolutely reasonable.

 

[CDJ]

Love Lies Bleeding directed by Rose Glass


What a wild movie-it is set in 1989. First half was more or less a softcore porn and the second half was a wild thriller. Some comedy moments scattered throughout. Dave Franco is so good at playing a douche. It also stars Kristen Stewart and Katy O’Brian as the leads, they were great…as was Ed Harris, as he always is. Ending is a bit ridiculous but also darkly funny. Would definitely recommend. Not usually the kind of movie I’d check out but got dragged there by my roommate and did end up enjoying it

8.3/10

 

[Osprey]

I knew that by writing "Star Wars fans", I'd have some witty comeback from. Your comment on the remake wasn't even really annoying, but yeah, anybody who suddenly feels like the original really was in fact a great film should be considered a nuisance. Absolutely reasonable.

No one here has said that the original is a great film. All that anyone has suggested is that the remake doesn't live up to the original, which seems like a reasonable opinion.

 

[kihei]

The Truth vs Alex Jones (2024) Directed by Dan Reed 8A (documentary)

In 2012, 20-year-old Adam Lanza entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and shot and killed twenty children and six adults. The children were mostly 6-year-olds, though a few were 7. Within a day, Alex Jones was on his Info Wars show claiming it was all a hoax. He didn't just broadcast this nonsense. Info Wars sent "experts" to Sandy Hook to confront and harass the parents, one of the reporters even managing to get a meeting with the the local school board where he informed them that they were all actors in an tragedy that never happened. The parents had to suffer not only the trauma of losing a child to gun violence but also the harassment that followed as Jones kept claiming with disgusting bravado that the massacre was a hoax and his followers kept threatening the families. Subsequently two different trials took place that accused Jones of deliberately spreading lies for profits, damaging people's reputations in the process. How powerful were these lies? At one of the trials, it is noted that at that time 24% of Americans, roughly 75 million people, either believed outright that Sandy Hook never happened or seriously doubted the veracity of the official reports.

Both trials ended in verdicts of massive damages, close to a billion dollars in all, against Jones. He has yet to pay a penny and has declared bankruptcy. Info Wars is still going strong. Jones comes across as a creature who lives at the bottom of a cesspool. Ultimately he is kind of irrelevant--even after a nuclear war, there will always be cockroaches still scurrying about. The real surprise is that one in four American adults bought into this conspiracy theory. That is a percentage that leaves me gobsmacked. In a way this documentary chronicles a compendium of fault lines running through American society. Not just the merciless gun violence, this time perpetrated on first and second graders, nor the hoax conspiracy theories of Jones, but why does the school board agree to hear a nutso spouting self-evident lies to begin with, and why are so many Americans so gullible to conspiracy theories in the first place? The Truth vs Alex Jones presents quite dispassionately American society at its lowest and most dangerous ebb.

On HBO

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

No one here has said that the original is a great film. All that anyone has suggested is that the remake doesn't live up to the original, which seems like a reasonable opinion.

Oh sorry if you thought I was implying anybody here was guilty of it. I've only been reading this type of comments everywhere (for some reason, I guess I made a quick search on something about the film, my FB feed was filled with Road House stuff), and I asked kihei if he was falling for it, since he was comparing it to films that had great remakes... Nothing to get anybody all worked up.

 

[Bounces R Way]

Drive-Away Dolls(2023) - 6.5/10

Ethan Coen's newest work is a comedy-thriller following a couple lesbians who mistakenly take a rental car meant for a criminal syndicate to Tallahassee. Would say heavier emphasis on the comedy rather than the thriller.

It's no Big Lebowski but it had some good lines. A couple cameos from Pedro Pascal and Matt Damon. Not sure which odd couple had the better dynamic, the lesbians or the goons chasing them. The introvert/extrovert trope is well worn but I thought the cast did a good job playing off each other.

Lots of weird Coen style transitions. Not sure what the acid tape visuals were about. All in all a decent self contained story that doesn't take itself too seriously. Had a couple twists, couple dildos, mild makeouts. Won't be everyone's cup of tea, but a fun turn your brain off movie with a couple laughs is what it promises and that's exactly what it delivers.

 

[kihei]

Oh sorry if you thought I was implying anybody here was guilty of it. I've only been reading this type of comments everywhere (for some reason, I guess I made a quick search on something about the film, my FB feed was filled with Road House stuff), and I asked kihei if he was falling for it, since he was comparing it to films that had great remakes... Nothing to get anybody all worked up.

Well, that went completely over my head.

I have a huge Patrick Swayze problem at the best of times and the original was definitely not the best of times. Though with Swayze I don't know what was.

 

[Unholy Diver]

Well, that went completely over my head.

I have a huge Patrick Swayze problem at the best of times and the original was definitely not the best of times. Though with Swayze I don't know what was.

Probably this

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Though my movie watching does includes some deliberate choices (focusing on a director or series or genre or what I can get my wife to agree to watch), my general approach is often more improvisational ... what am I feeling in this moment? (Like, jazz it's really about the movies I DON'T watch, zing!). I have watch lists on the various services. Sometimes I'll watch something immediately. Sometimes a movie can sit there for literal years and I hover over it every few weeks and decide ... "eh, not today."

But if there's one sure-fire way to kick me in the ass it's the "leaving this month" notification on a streaming service. My primal brain just assumes "Oh no I may never be able to see this again!" eventhough that's often not the case as movies tend to trade off between services and Tubi, in particular, has a pretty clear pattern of cycling movies on and off every few months. But it works on me.

That's how I found myself watching two latter day Walter Hill movies -- Bullet in the Head and The Assignment. I did go on a Hill kick a couple years ago in conjunction with reading an excellent book about his career, but I also felt I saw what I wanted to see. Didn't need to be a completionist. But these two were sitting there and are LEAVING THIS MONTH, so f-it.

What I found most interesting is how both echoed some of his previous, better work. Bullet has a mismatched partnership (hitman and cop) reluctantly teaming up to deal with bad dudes, corruption and assorted shenanigans, not unlike 48 Hrs, with San Fran swapped for New Orleans. The Assignment hinges on a bad person who undergoes a radical physical surgery. The question is: does that change who they fundamentally are? Hill trod similar neo-noir/mad scientist mashup ground in the underrated Johnny Handsome.

It's probably no shock to say that the earlier work is far superior. Watching these makes you want to watch those. In Bullet, Hill still displays a great sense of place and he knows his way around an action sequence — there's a climactic axe fight in this that's pretty damn good. But the whole thing is flat. Sylvester Stallone is our Nick Nolte here (gruff, quippy, racist). Sly is an actor who I've grown to appreciate in the last decade or so but humor is one of his major weaknesses. With the exception of Demolition Man, the dude just cannot deliver jokes. Quip after quip just tumbles out of his mouth and flops dead on the floor here. He's kinda flat in general, really. The big bad is Jason Momoa (parallel to or or right off Game of Thrones). He's trying to be a swaggering badass but it just isn't connecting. He feels too green. If this were a few years later he'd probably be pretty good.

The Assignment was controversial immediately because the aforementioned surgery involves taking a male hitman transitioning him against his will into a woman. Michelle Rodriguez plays both and gives what I'll call a noble, but unsuccessful effort. It's really her vocal choices that kinda drove me nuts. Sigourney Weaver plays the mad doctor here who executes the plan as a revenge scheme. She clearly relishes playing a Hannibal Lectre-esque genius who gets long stretches of the movie to talk about Shakespeare, Poe, philosophy and other bullshit. I'm reluctant to wade too far into the "offensiveness" of the movie and its handling of trans issues other than to say I feel like arguing about that gives the movie more weight than it probably ever intended and definitely more than it deserves. This is trashy pulp. I don't say that as a justification, more a statement of fact. The movie is a mess — a sytlistic mishmash of comic book art, camera confessionals, excessive monologuing and merely ok action. There are some shots that are clearly intended to provoke, but I feel like it's provocation for provocation's sake, not really a mission statement or anything. Whether you find it offensive or not is in the eye of the beholder, but I'm not sure it works looking through any lens.

 

[Rodgerwilco]

The Truth vs Alex Jones (2024) Directed by Dan Reed 8A (documentary)

In 2012, 20-year-old Adam Lanza entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and shot and killed twenty children and six adults. The children were mostly 6-year-olds, though a few were 7. Within a day, Alex Jones was on his Info Wars show claiming it was all a hoax. He didn't just broadcast this nonsense. Info Wars sent "experts" to Sandy Hook to confront and harass the parents, one of the reporters even managing to get a meeting with the the local school board where he informed them that they were all actors in an tragedy that never happened. The parents had to suffer not only the trauma of losing a child to gun violence but also the harassment that followed as Jones kept claiming with disgusting bravado that the massacre was a hoax and his followers kept threatening the families. Subsequently two different trials took place that accused Jones of deliberately spreading lies for profits, damaging people's reputations in the process. How powerful were these lies? At one of the trials, it is noted that at that time 24% of Americans, roughly 75 million people, either believed outright that Sandy Hook never happened or seriously doubted the veracity of the official reports.

Both trials ended in verdicts of massive damages, close to a billion dollars in all, against Jones. He has yet to pay a penny and has declared bankruptcy. Info Wars is still going strong. Jones comes across as a creature who lives at the bottom of a cesspool. Ultimately he is kind of irrelevant--even after a nuclear war, there will always be cockroaches still scurrying about. The real surprise is that one in four American adults bought into this conspiracy theory. That is a percentage that leaves me gobsmacked. In a way this documentary chronicles a compendium of fault lines running through American society. Not just the merciless gun violence, this time perpetrated on first and second graders, nor the hoax conspiracy theories of Jones, but why does the school board agree to hear a nutso spouting self-evident lies to begin with, and why are so many Americans so gullible to conspiracy theories in the first place? The Truth vs Alex Jones presents quite dispassionately American society at its lowest and most dangerous ebb.

On HBO

I wish HF had a sad react for posts like this.

It's unimaginable how this kind of nonsense could be spread and perpetuated by folks like Jones, especially weaponizing social media. I was heart broken to realize that multiple people in my personal life that I cared for and respected bought into and actively spread the Sandy Hook conspiracies. As much as this topic interests me, I'm not sure I could make it through watching it without getting sad, frustrated, irate, and sad again.