Movies: Last Movie You Watched and Rate It | Cinema at the End of the World Edition

[NyQuil]

The Punisher (1989) - 4/10

I couldn't remember if I'd seen this, but some parts were familiar, so I must've. It's sure not a memorable movie. Something that surprised me is that Dolph Lundgren looked rather "small" in it compared to how he looked the previous year in Red Scorpion. See what I mean...

Spoiler

Same guy one year later:

Maybe that's just what happens when a Swede loses his blond hair? I'm not very familiar with the comic book, but it didn't feel like it could've been very faithful. For one, Dolph didn't seem very vengeful, maybe because his family had been dead for years and the Yakuza weren't the ones responsible for it, either. It felt more like a generic 80s action movie. I certainly have a soft spot for those, which is why I'm giving as high of a score as I am, but this is one of the forgettable ones and I'll probably forget again that I watched it.

The Punisher (2004) - 5/10

This was actually better than I expected (though I expected pretty bad). I appreciated that it's a modern "superhero" movie that doesn't involve any super powers or CGI. I'm partial to Batman and Darkman for that reason and it reminded me of both. It was dark and not too corny, Thomas Jane made for a decent lead and watching bad things happen to John Travolta was satisfying. I liked parts of it, but other parts not so much. It had some good visuals, action scenes and explosions, but also dragged at times and was too long (good thing that I elected not to watch the extended cut). In spite of its problems and not quite "liking" it, I'd still take it over most of the superhero CGI-fests.

The best version of the story is the Marvel miniseries starring Jon Bernthal.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

The best version of the story is the Marvel miniseries starring Jon Bernthal.

Which is actually quite good! The Punisher films are all terrible, and I still prefer the Lundgren version.

- 1989
- 2004
-
-
- 2008 (what a shit show)

 

[Osprey]

The best version of the story is the Marvel miniseries starring Jon Bernthal.

I've heard that. I'm not sure if I'm that interested to watch a series, but I did want to watch the movies first in case I ever do decide to.

I was going to skip the 2008 movie, Punisher: War Zone, but Pranzo just convinced me with his way with words to put it on. I'm only 10 minutes in and am already questioning my decision (and just my decision making, in general). I'm surprised to read that it cost $35M and was released in theaters. I would've guessed less than half of that and straight to video. It's hard to believe a Marvel-based movie making only $10M at the box office. Even Howard the Duck made 3 times that... in 1986 dollars.

Edit: I actually finished it. It turns out that the people being punished are the viewers.

 

[member 51464]

Have any of you seen The Card Counter? The direction it went with those last few scenes was....a choice.

It took me out of it and undermined what I thought was very solid up to then. I'm curious what others think.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

the people being punished are the viewers.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

I've heard that. I'm not sure if I'm that interested to watch a series

Better yet, you should start with the first 2 seasons of Daredevil (very good show too). The Punisher is introduced in season 2.

It's quite the investment, but - take it as coming from me, so not too seriously - it's all better than the MCU by a pretty large margin.

 

[Osprey]

Leave it to Bruce Willis to make what was the worst movie that I'd seen in weeks not even the worst movie that I watched tonight...

Bored to Death Out of Death (2021) - 2/10 (Hated it)

A retired cop (Bruce Willis) helps a hiker (Jaime King) against corrupt rural cops. The very first shot of the movie is Willis holding a gun, as if the filmmakers were afraid that we'd turn it off if we didn't get that right away. I then almost did want to turn it off a few minutes later because of the irritating song during the opening credits. Nearly all of the movie takes place outdoors, in woodlands, which should've at least provided some pretty scenery to look at, but the filmmakers must've learned somewhere that using muted colors sets a tone, so the movie just looks drab and ugly, instead. They also pretentiously announce chapters of the movie onscreen, like "Part III The Hunt," which you need a movie a whole lot better than this to get away with. The plot is your corrupt rural cop trope, except that these cops are some of the least intimidating movie villains that you'll find. One is a girl who's been hitting the botox, another is a guy who pulls his greasy hair back into a bun, the third is a pretty boy sheriff who talks to himself and they all use fake rural accents that don't even match. The acting is bad and made worse by cringe-worthy dialogue, especially the lines given to Willis. Reportedly, all of his scenes were filmed in a single day as a response to COVID filming restrictions, and it really shows. He's terrible and I've ragged on his acting in his other recent films, but I almost want to give him a pass here because he was given such awful dialogue and probably few or no re-takes as he was rushed from scene to scene. It was one of the first movies filmed during COVID, and I'm tempted to be impressed by that, but that's the only thing that could possibly be impressive about this movie. It's really bad and boring, so much so that I've been writing this while watching it, still have 15 minutes left and am confident that nothing to come will redeem it any.

 

[Pink Mist]

13 Tzameti (2005) directed by Géla Babluani

Sébastien (George Babluani), a young Georgian immigrant living in France, steals an envelope from a recently deceased man’s house that he is working on as a handyman. In the envelope is a set of instructions that Sébastien presumes may have a chance to make money from. Was the man a hit man; were these instructions for a hit? Sébastien follows the instructions which eventually leads him to a secluded house and finds out that this mysterious job is to participate in a multi-player game of Russian Roulette for a bunch of high stakes gamblers. 13 Tzameti is a gritty low budget thriller that lives and dies by whether or not the viewer can go along with its premise. For me, it worked and I found it to be a great genre exercise in suspense and tension. The first half hour leading up to the “job” where Sébastien is hopping on trains and receiving instructions feels like something out of a Hitchcock film, before it transitions into a sweat soaked and brutal game of Russian Roulette that’ll leave you on the edge of your seat. A really well done bleak and minimalist psychological thriller. The same director remade his own film into a English language American film called 13, starring 50 Cent, Mickey Rourke and Jason Statham, but I’ve heard it is terrible.

 

[OzzyFan]

Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021) - 3/10 (Really disliked it)

A convict (Nic Cage) is forced to venture into the wasteland to bring back a man's runaway granddaughter (Sofia Boutella). It opens with 8 (!) studio logos, letting you know up front that you're about to watch a movie that no studio had enough faith in to put up much more than 1/8th of the budget. I started to wonder if they all couldn't decide on what kind of movie to make because it's a real jumble. It's half post-apocalypse and half 19th century Japan, with Samurai and geisha, but also with a sprinkling of Old West gunslingers, neon lighting, 60s fashion, disco balls, 21st century cars and even zombies. It's all over the place. For the most part, it's like if you crossed Mad Max with The Last Samurai and then mixed in a little Army of Darkness... though that makes it sound better than it is. It's just strange and nonsensical.

It does have some eye-catching sets between the dirt poor Ghostland and the pretty "Samurai town," and they went a long way to keeping my attention, but what goes on in them is rather dull and it's painfully obvious that 90% of the movie takes place on just those two sets. There are some action scenes, but they're not terribly exciting, and there are a few amusing bits, but it's not really a funny movie. Cage and Boutella are watchable, but their characters aren't very interesting. The villain is a cliched white-suited Southern "gentleman" like you've seen in many other movies.

The basic plot is simple enough to follow, but too basic and poorly written. The director tries to make up for it with lots of slow motion shots, replaying one particular "memory" scene over and over, scenes that just seem extraneous to the plot and the occasional musical number. Those who appreciate stylish films may like it more than those looking for a good story. Also, Cage fans who were disappointed that Pig wasn't crazy enough may like it more. I found it somewhat watchable because of the imaginative and inconsistent world, but just not entertaining as a movie and I'm liking it less the more that I think about it. It's for rent for about $7 on most services.

Damn. I was hoping it'd have something worthy of watching in it. Oh well.

Have any of you seen The Card Counter? The direction it went with those last few scenes was....a choice.

It took me out of it and undermined what I thought was very solid up to then. I'm curious what others think.

Older review of mine on it:


The Card Counter (2021)
2.80 out of 4stars

"A revenge thriller that tells the story of an ex-military interrogator turned gambler haunted by the ghosts of his past."
Isaac is great, arguably under-utilized, in his portrayal of a man who's penally paid for his past sins, yet has mental scars that may forever haunt his soul. Daily life becomes escapism for him, and a structured low-risk/low-reward nomadic casino to casino card counting lifestyle is his preferred choice (maybe optimal choice given his non-hirable prison background) to live out his time. The fateful meeting of a vengeful 20 something and the face of high stakes poker backers gives him hope for penance or at least the prevention of another soul destroyed by his past military sect's actions. A great dialogue centric slow burn drama ensues, yet is let down by a rushed and underwritten 3rd act that takes place of the course of roughly 4 scenes. There was opportunity for a powerful finale that was undercut by a lack of writer imagination or wrongful directorial/writer choice (or even possibly producer limitations?). All I know is in layman's terms, it's a finale that's gonna piss a lot of people off, not necessarily from the sequence of events that occur, but how they are portrayed. I also would have liked a vaster example of the flashback scenes and evidential crimes that Isaac did to further hammer home the messages and story we were seeing.

 

[Osprey]

Damn. I was hoping it'd have something worthy of watching in it. Oh well.

Eh. Don't take my word for it. As I tried to convey, others might like it a lot more. According to the review sites, it's right up a lot of people's alleys. It just wasn't up mine, and I score very subjectively. FWIW, I didn't like any of Romero's trilogy, especially the last two, and you loved them, so you might just want to ignore my opinion.

Edit: On the other hand, definitely take my word for it with Out of Death. Ignore my opinion of that at your own peril.

 

[Rabid Ranger]

The best version of the story is the Marvel miniseries starring Jon Bernthal.

Actually, the best is the video short of the Thomas Jane version wrecking dudes while he does his laundry.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

FWIW, I didn't like any of Romero's trilogy, especially the last two, and you loved them, so you might just want to ignore my opinion.

What? I guess I forgot about that cause I'm still reading your posts...

 

[Osprey]

What? I guess I forgot about that cause I'm still reading your posts...

At least someone is. To refresh your memory, you called me "delirious" for my review of Dawn of the Dead, but actually "liked" my post in which I gave Day of the Dead a 3/10.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

At least someone is. To refresh your memory, you called me "delirious" for my review of Dawn of the Dead, but actually "liked" my post in which I gave Day of the Dead a 3/10.

You're still a little delirious in the second post, but you gave a chance to (and made funny comments about) the Gates of Hell trilogy - of course I'll send a "like" your way! I'm pretty big fan of the Return films too.

 

[ProstheticConscience]

Jon Bernthal was the best actual Punisher, but War Zone was the best Punisher movie just for being the only one that embraces being totally ridiculous, cheesy and over the top.

 

[discostu]

I felt like seeing something in the theatre last night, so I checked out Copshop.

I'd give it a solid 7/10. The last act was a bit of a mess, but, a fun action movie. Great characters, including a character that comes in about halfway through that ratchet up the fun.

It's a shame this isn't doing better at the box office. It came out last week, and I literally was the only one in the theatre.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Been rolling into peak horror season in my watching. Slowly made my way through In Search of Darkness II, a rather lengthy look at 1980s horror, but easily digestible in small chunks if you don't want to sit down and watch 4.5 hours in a row. Just like part 1, if you're a fan of horror it's not particularly deep or insightful, but it is a satisfying enough little nostalgia trip through some flicks, stars and directors you remember, forgotten and possible never knew.

Bag of Bones. I love me a good Stephen King mini-series. A lot aren't very good, honestly given the constraints of TV production. Many are clunky and have aged poorly. This one's a little more recent (2010) than the classics, but is burdened by many of the same limitations. I remember liking the book but that was 20 years ago that I read it. This nearly four hour production is pretty dull for about 75% of its run time. When the full story comes into focus in the last quarter, it recovers somewhat, but not enough to really recommend. Pierce Brosnan does his best, but the rest of the cast and the overall production values let him down. Both the emotion and the creepiness of the book just didn't translate here.

Tales from the Crypt. (the TV show, not the movie). Another nostalgia trip -- just making my way through the old HBO show which was a favorite of mine in my youth. I just wrapped the six-episode first season and it holds up pretty well. Good, ghoulish fun. I particularly liked ep. 2 about a Santa suit-clad psycho vs. a murderous mom and ep. 3 staring the always delightful Joe Pantoliano as a freak show cast member with nine lives. But they've all been pretty solid so far, nice bite sized bits of horror if you need an easy fix.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Still thinking about Stephen King miniseries and it's funny to me that the undisputed best one (IMO) is still 'Salems Lot, which is the first. Rewatched a few years back and still rate it very highly. Some of the very TV elements — like the obvious cuts where commercials would go — work in its favor rather than against it. Fairly well acted for what it is and Tobe Hooper has real flair that a lot of future miniseries directors just weren't able to bring to the small screen. The kid floating outside the window sticks with many people to this day for a reason.

I'd probably rate The Stand next. Pretty good cast. Gets the sheer sprawl and scope of that story pretty well.

I know It has its fans and it certainly left an impression on me when I first watched it as a kid, but boy that one does not hold up well at all rewatching as an adult outside of Tim Curry's performance. Clunky as hell. The Langoliers is a pretty entertaining King story, but the miniseries was bad on multiple fronts (remake this! it could be fun!). Have never revisited The Tommyknockers or Sometimes They Come Back since they first aired, but neither stuck with me. There's a few I haven't seen -- The Golden Years, Rose Red, Storm of the Century -- so can't speak to those. Might be forgetting some.

I did watch The Outsider earlier this year and thought it was excellent though my pedantic ass would call it a TV show, not a mini-series. Same with the recent update of The Stand which I would rate as good in general though it had a few performances that I've hated about as much as I've hated any acting performances in a while (and it has THREE of them in one place) and the tweaked ending blows. The adaptation of 11/22/63 was kinda in-one-ear-out-the-other. But I'm also kinda lukewarm on that book relative to most King fans.

King has many big books, obviously, that lend well to productions that go beyond the traditional bounds of a movie. Many characters and plotlines (not always good ones), but stuff that gets sacrificed to the runtime gods in other formats. Dawning on me now that I think that one of my problems with the Bag of Bones adaptation is that for all its length it doesn't really have a big cast or a lot of plotlines, none of that world building that occurs in some of his best work ... at least as translated to a screen. The best works capture those big casts and multi-character dynamics the best.

I'd love to see a proper adaptation of Needful Things in this light. (The movie is ok -- I don't hate it -- but it's not as good as I think it could be).

 

[ItsFineImFine]

The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) - 7/10

Yeah it's a really mixed film of two halves for me. The first half is quick-witted Coen brothers fun. The second half is a bit of a slower mess which feels like it could've been directed by any mediocre 90s director. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Paul Newman are fun to watch throughout though.

 

[Pink Mist]

Invisible Life [A Vida Invisível] (2019) directed by Karim Aïnouz

In Rio de Janeiro during the 1950s, Eurídice (Carol Duarte) and Guida (Julia Stockler) are two inseparable sisters who live with their very conservative family. Eurídice is a piano prodigy who wishes to audition for an Austrian observatory while Guida is impulsively in love with a Greek sailor boyfriend. One evening Guida doesn’t return for a date with her boyfriend because she has sailed off with him back to Greece. And from then Guida would disappear from Eurídice’s life forever living a life abroad. Except Guida did return home and has been living in Rio but Eurídice is not aware of it. Guida returned to Rio from Greece to her parents with a bastard child and was thrown out by her father and told that Eurídice is Europe and to never speak to them or her sister again. Banished from the family she lives in poverty in Rio wishing to one day be returned to her sister. Lushly photographed, Invisible Lie is a stylish and beautiful but bleak film about patriarchal oppression in Brazil. Really effective melodrama with strong performances by the two lead actors in their parallel roles. The film has been compared to the work of Wong Kar-wai, and there definitely seems to be a lot of his influence on the film with the use of colours and vibe of the film. Worth checking out, I found the story to be very moving, though I’m torn about the use of the epilogue.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

Still thinking about Stephen King miniseries and it's funny to me that the undisputed best one (IMO) is still 'Salems Lot, which is the first. Rewatched a few years back and still rate it very highly. Some of the very TV elements — like the obvious cuts where commercials would go — work in its favor rather than against it. Fairly well acted for what it is and Tobe Hooper has real flair that a lot of future miniseries directors just weren't able to bring to the small screen. The kid floating outside the window sticks with many people to this day for a reason.

I'd probably rate The Stand next. Pretty good cast. Gets the sheer sprawl and scope of that story pretty well.

I know It has its fans and it certainly left an impression on me when I first watched it as a kid, but boy that one does not hold up well at all rewatching as an adult outside of Tim Curry's performance. Clunky as hell. The Langoliers is a pretty entertaining King story, but the miniseries was bad on multiple fronts (remake this! it could be fun!). Have never revisited The Tommyknockers or Sometimes They Come Back since they first aired, but neither stuck with me. There's a few I haven't seen -- The Golden Years, Rose Red, Storm of the Century -- so can't speak to those. Might be forgetting some.

I did watch The Outsider earlier this year and thought it was excellent though my pedantic ass would call it a TV show, not a mini-series. Same with the recent update of The Stand which I would rate as good in general though it had a few performances that I've hated about as much as I've hated any acting performances in a while (and it has THREE of them in one place) and the tweaked ending blows. The adaptation of 11/22/63 was kinda in-one-ear-out-the-other. But I'm also kinda lukewarm on that book relative to most King fans.

King has many big books, obviously, that lend well to productions that go beyond the traditional bounds of a movie. Many characters and plotlines (not always good ones), but stuff that gets sacrificed to the runtime gods in other formats. Dawning on me now that I think that one of my problems with the Bag of Bones adaptation is that for all its length it doesn't really have a big cast or a lot of plotlines, none of that world building that occurs in some of his best work ... at least as translated to a screen. The best works capture those big casts and multi-character dynamics the best.

I'd love to see a proper adaptation of Needful Things in this light. (The movie is ok -- I don't hate it -- but it's not as good as I think it could be).

So many things in there I either haven't seen or completely forgot about. Even the recent The Stand version, that I've seen just in the last few months, is completely slipping away from my tiny brain. Anyway, I always considered Sometimes They Come Back as movie (and I remember it pretty clearly), and you forgot The Shining! (that's really what I wanted to say)

 

[heatnikki]

The Blair Witch Project.
Finally got around to viewing this. Quite enjoyed it, the tension between the main characters is well-produced. Solid performances throughout.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

So many things in there I either haven't seen or completely forgot about. Even the recent The Stand version, that I've seen just in the last few months, is completely slipping away from my tiny brain. Anyway, I always considered Sometimes They Come Back as movie (and I remember it pretty clearly), and you forgot The Shining! (that's really what I wanted to say)

Yep, Sometimes was definitely a movie. My bad. I think I lumped it in with the others because it was a TV movie. Totally normal length though.

Can't believe I forgot The Shining. I'd like to revisit at some point. I remember thinking it was fine but no where near as effective as Kubrick's version. Interesting as an alternative given King's vocal opposition to the prior movie. I stayed in the hotel where they filmed this, which was the actual inspiration for the book as well. Dumb & Dumber also filmed there.

I forgot Desperation as well, which didn't do much for me beyond Ron Perlman playing the baddie.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

Yep, Sometimes was definitely a movie. My bad. I think I lumped it in with the others because it was a TV movie. Totally normal length though.

Can't believe I forgot The Shining. I'd like to revisit at some point. I remember thinking it was fine but no where near as effective as Kubrick's version. Interesting as an alternative given King's vocal opposition to the prior movie. I stayed in the hotel where they filmed this, which was the actual inspiration for the book as well. Dumb & Dumber also filmed there.

I forgot Desperation as well, which didn't do much for me beyond Ron Perlman playing the baddie.

You stayed at the hotel??! Nice! I admit [shamefully?] that I took pictures in front of the house when in Amytiville and in the Exorcist steps when in Georgetown, but never got close to that hotel!

Honestly, I don't remember the Shining miniseries myself, and I saw it only a couple of years ago. For some reason, this format doesn't work with me.

 

[Osprey]

Senior Moment (2021) - 6/10 (Liked it)

When a single retiree (William Shatner) has his driver's license and beloved car taken away after a joy ride with his best friend (Christopher Lloyd), he meets and falls for a local cafe owner (Jean Smart). It's a rom-com about seniors falling in love that reminded me of Grumpy Old Men and its sequel, except without the entertaining banter and feuding between the friends. There are some amusing moments, but it's more of a lighthearted movie than a laugh-out-loud funny one. The story is as predictable and derivative as can be, such that there isn't anything that you haven't seen in other films, but I found it pleasing, nonetheless. Shatner is fun to watch, as long as you cut him some slack for being nearly 90 when he filmed this, and Smart is adorable. Lloyd is a little underused, so viewers expecting much from him may be disappointed. It was filmed entirely in Palm Springs, which I liked. The critics panned the movie, and they're not wrong, but I thought that it was cute and it put a smile on my face, and that's enough for me. As Peter Bradshaw begins his review in The Guardian, "The basic terribleness of this film is beside the point." It's beside the point because, if you have any affection for Shatner or Smart, or you can relate to the subject matter or you just like the idea of seniors falling in love, then you'll probably like this movie, anyways. If that sounds like you and you could use a pleasant movie, you can find it for rent for a few bucks on most services.