hangman005
It's my first day.
Maybe even just Gaudreau Memorial Drive as there were two of them
In Memoriam Johnny Gaudreau & Matthew Gaudreau killed by drunk driver while cycling (MOD WARNING. No Flaming, Trolling, or Politics.)
- Thread starter Koivu11
- Start date
SeanMoneyHands
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- Apr 18, 2019
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This devastating tragedy resonates with you in so many ways. But I’m going to focus on the main lessons I’ve learned about counterfactual thinking.
The threat of death has always been present in my life. My first lasting memory is my grandfather waiting for a (thankfully successful) cancer surgery on a hospital bed. But while I then lost my mom’s stepmother to cancer, it wasn’t until my maternal uncle died in 1989 when I understood what death means. (Incidentally, I later found out he was not only a gifted man but a recovering alcoholic. Sadly, his body failed to recover the way his mind did.)
The time we have is limited and our lives can end at any time. This changes and deepens the meaning of everything we live through. Death has taught me that everything meaningful begins with valuing life. Family, culture, religion, philosophy, ethics, science, economics, freedom, equality, environmental protection, learning about our place in the vast universe, seeking truth… everything. And when that life is taken away, you can never get it back. But you try in your mind anyway. Maybe it helps someone else in the future. Maybe feeling guilty is part of your mourning process. Whatever the reason, you then start to engage in what ifs. Nothing causes counterfactual thinking like death.
I’ve had my share. In November 1995, I was an active part of a causal chain that led to the death of the younger brother of my previously mentioned uncle (I had forgotten to give an item to him, postponing his charity trip to Russia, during which a truck driver then crashed into his car head-on). And in May 2017, I was an active part of another causal chain that almost led to multiple deaths and did lead to an elderly man suffering a broken back (I witnessed a dangerous overtaking maneuver and now feel I should have slowed down more than I did to prevent the consequences). To keep my post shorter, I won’t elaborate here (feel free to ask for details though). But the point is that I can feel for both the sister of the Gaudreau brothers and the driver of the SUV.
This is how we torture ourselves after terrible outcomes, regardless of whether we had made mistakes before them or not. What if we had done something differently? Maybe the deaths/harms could have been avoided. But the counterfactuals work both ways. Sometimes a minor mistake can save someone’s life. It’s just that we rarely get to know it when it happens. I have no idea how many times I or someone else could have died had I made slightly different choices in everyday life. But then there are times when we do know things could have been a lot worse.
And sometimes, even terrible outcomes can have life-changing positive consequences. Back in December 2005 I posted a long story on these boards about my father’s death in his own father’s funeral. I described how my dad’s death totally changed the mood of the funeral, though most probably not to the same extent as the deaths of Johnny and Matthew changed that of their sister’s wedding. I also described how reflecting upon the incredible circumstances and the mourning process changed my whole perspective on other people and myself for the better. But the story didn’t end there. It also created a foundation for rediscovering true meaning for my life. And between 2009 and 2010, that spark ignited, and that seed started to bear fruit.
That meaning cured my depression for good, made me accept and forget about myself, and focus on the world around me. That’s why my username reads “Sampe from the 2000s”: I now had less time in my life to focus on escapism. That’s why I rarely post here even after making a comeback.
If there’s one family that can use a terrible tragedy to grow even further as human beings, as individuals who care for one another, it’s the Gaudreau family. I have zero doubt they have and will use their time together to comfort and help each other. And I know from experience that it touches the very core of your soul and changes your whole angle on life.
With my favorite hymn (originally Swedish), my deepest condolences to the Gaudreau family and all the loved ones of Johnny and Matthew. God bless.
The threat of death has always been present in my life. My first lasting memory is my grandfather waiting for a (thankfully successful) cancer surgery on a hospital bed. But while I then lost my mom’s stepmother to cancer, it wasn’t until my maternal uncle died in 1989 when I understood what death means. (Incidentally, I later found out he was not only a gifted man but a recovering alcoholic. Sadly, his body failed to recover the way his mind did.)
The time we have is limited and our lives can end at any time. This changes and deepens the meaning of everything we live through. Death has taught me that everything meaningful begins with valuing life. Family, culture, religion, philosophy, ethics, science, economics, freedom, equality, environmental protection, learning about our place in the vast universe, seeking truth… everything. And when that life is taken away, you can never get it back. But you try in your mind anyway. Maybe it helps someone else in the future. Maybe feeling guilty is part of your mourning process. Whatever the reason, you then start to engage in what ifs. Nothing causes counterfactual thinking like death.
I’ve had my share. In November 1995, I was an active part of a causal chain that led to the death of the younger brother of my previously mentioned uncle (I had forgotten to give an item to him, postponing his charity trip to Russia, during which a truck driver then crashed into his car head-on). And in May 2017, I was an active part of another causal chain that almost led to multiple deaths and did lead to an elderly man suffering a broken back (I witnessed a dangerous overtaking maneuver and now feel I should have slowed down more than I did to prevent the consequences). To keep my post shorter, I won’t elaborate here (feel free to ask for details though). But the point is that I can feel for both the sister of the Gaudreau brothers and the driver of the SUV.
This is how we torture ourselves after terrible outcomes, regardless of whether we had made mistakes before them or not. What if we had done something differently? Maybe the deaths/harms could have been avoided. But the counterfactuals work both ways. Sometimes a minor mistake can save someone’s life. It’s just that we rarely get to know it when it happens. I have no idea how many times I or someone else could have died had I made slightly different choices in everyday life. But then there are times when we do know things could have been a lot worse.
And sometimes, even terrible outcomes can have life-changing positive consequences. Back in December 2005 I posted a long story on these boards about my father’s death in his own father’s funeral. I described how my dad’s death totally changed the mood of the funeral, though most probably not to the same extent as the deaths of Johnny and Matthew changed that of their sister’s wedding. I also described how reflecting upon the incredible circumstances and the mourning process changed my whole perspective on other people and myself for the better. But the story didn’t end there. It also created a foundation for rediscovering true meaning for my life. And between 2009 and 2010, that spark ignited, and that seed started to bear fruit.
That meaning cured my depression for good, made me accept and forget about myself, and focus on the world around me. That’s why my username reads “Sampe from the 2000s”: I now had less time in my life to focus on escapism. That’s why I rarely post here even after making a comeback.
If there’s one family that can use a terrible tragedy to grow even further as human beings, as individuals who care for one another, it’s the Gaudreau family. I have zero doubt they have and will use their time together to comfort and help each other. And I know from experience that it touches the very core of your soul and changes your whole angle on life.
With my favorite hymn (originally Swedish), my deepest condolences to the Gaudreau family and all the loved ones of Johnny and Matthew. God bless.
Does anyone know if his estate will be paid the remainder of his contract or if it will be void? I know his life insurance through the NHLPA pays his salary for the upcoming season and 1 million USD.
For whatever reason, I don't remember the event at the time, perhaps I was too young to pay close attention, but clearly remember Lindberg and the story when sitting in a classroom around 1992.....not sure why it sticks out so much for me....was never a Flyers fan or anything, can't remember anything else I was doing at the time where this topic would have come up
Voight
#winning
Sure he hit 100 points once, but he also had seasons of 78 (6th in scoring that year), 84 and 99 points.
The NHLPA has life insurance and from that his family will get his salary this year + 1 Million USD
SeanMoneyHands
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Livestreaming on Youtube right now. Jackets players and GM having tributes on Johnny hockey.
JPT
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I definitely can't watch this at work, so hopefully the recorded version is up later.
SeanMoneyHands
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red devil
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- Oct 14, 2004
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Another note on that.
Pelle died in his Porche
Hextall took the net , and in New York Rangers fans yelled "Hey Hextall , buy a Porsche "
Never could stand the Rangers
Last edited:
SeanMoneyHands
Registered User
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Even though Johnny only played in Columbus for 2 years, it's a classy thing to do for the whole team including management to attend his funeral.
Voight
#winning
They also get his remaining signing bonus, which is 2 million per year for the next 5 years.
One of the CBJ board mods has been collecting tweets transcribing and summarizing some of the presser, if you're unable to watch:
DaaaaB's
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- Apr 24, 2004
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As opposed to those ultra polite Philadelphia fans.
SeanMoneyHands
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Even though Jagrs time as a Flame was very short, he became good friends with Johnny.
Bostonians aren't exactly a bunch of Little Lord Fauntleroys either
HolyHagelin
Speed? I am speed.
- Jan 8, 2024
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Been off the boards a while. This is f***ing terrible. The timing too - their sister will forever hold guilt in her heart over this, and she should not. Just awful.
DaaaaB's
Registered User
- Apr 24, 2004
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Oh I don't disagree. I'm from Canada but we got a lot of dicks up here too. Just found it a bit odd that people were ripping Rangers fans for making a rude comment to Hextall when Philly fans are known for being jackass' and seem to take pride in it.
I'd really hope she doesn't and she shouldn't. Hopefully it doesn't destroy her relationship either and they're able to get married at some point.
robertmac43
Forever 43!
- Mar 31, 2015
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