Confirmed with Link: Johnny Gaudreau has died at the age of 31

CarolinaBlueJacket

Registered User
Mar 3, 2011
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Don't minimize yourself - that's a lot for one person to deal with in such a short time. Here's to hoping you come out OK on the other side.
I am not minimizing anything, I just know that if my child passed away it would be worse than all of the ones I mentioned put together. Nevermind losing 2 sons. Parents should never bury their children. I am not old yet, but I am getting there and if something were to happen to me at least I lived a good portion of my life and the kid is in college and I got to know him as an adult.
When young people like Johnny and Matthew pass away it is wrong and especially sad.
 
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CarolinaBlueJacket

Registered User
Mar 3, 2011
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North Carolina
No words, Carolina. That’s a lot of stuff. I hope you too are getting all the support, guidance, help and love you all need.
Thanks. I would me lying if I said it was easy. I have never been a depressed person in my life but right now I have a heaviness on me. It feels like a weighted blanket is strapped on me. I say this not for attention but because I feel I can kind of relate to the Gaudreau family, but I think their situation is worse. I feel for them so much.
 
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CBJWerenski8

Rest in Peace Johnny
Jun 13, 2009
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Whole presser if you want to watch
 
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Mitts

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Jun 29, 2011
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I am on overload at the moment. I was raised by a single father while we lived next door to his sister (a single mother) and her daughter. They were like a mother and sister to me.
Last April my aunt, who was practically my mother, died. A year later her daughter, my in spirit sister, died. Two months later my best friend from high school died. A month ago we found out that our dog has bladder cancer and will not make it to the end of the year. Three weeks ago my dad died. Two weeks ago my boss totally screwed me so bad that his boss has apologized at least 5 times and asked what can he do to make it right? Then Johnny is killed just under a week ago. I need a vacation from life.
But even with all of that I don't think it's as bad as what the Gaudreaus are going through. My heart aches for them even with all of my own troubIes.
I'm so sorry for your losses, I can't imagine how hard that is to deal with so many consecutive hits. Hang in there. I lost my brother and had to put down my pet cat, 3 years ago, who used to be my brothers cat. He asked me if I could take care of him because his M.S. was so bad. I loved that cat to death, so losing my brother and that sweet animal 3 months apart was devastating. It's cliche but give it time, life will get better.

Last Friday I woke up and went on you tube, saw there was a "FlamesNation" Livestream coming up in an hour, I opened it up the link and saw Johnny's face on the stream, I was filled with joy immediately, I figured Johnny was going to be on the show to do an interview, I started reading the live chat log and things weren't making sense in my head, I felt this bolt of terror rip through me so I googled his name and saw the tragic news. It was so shocking, just shock and sadness, I never thought I'd feel so much emotion over someone I never met. The next few days I kid you not I cried many times, such tragic circumstances for the Gaudreau family, unbelievable pain that was caused and loss of life.

I just felt like I needed to talk about this and your post really inspired me to get it out. I wish you all the best, and all Blue Jackets fans, the players, and everyone who was affected by Johnny and Matthew and is suffering. Most of all I wish the pain the Gaudreau family and friends are going through is eased as quickly as possible, there is no quick fix, I just empathize with their pain. I'm so sorry for their loss. RIP Johnny and Matthew, you will never be forgotten.
 

Double-Shift Lasse

Just post better
Dec 22, 2004
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Exurban Cbus
Have no idea if the family would be interested or if it would be too painful or even if Meredith will continue to live in Cbus... but I'd love it if the team adopted their kids and gave Noa and little Johnny like a whole roster full of dads and continued to have them all in the family spaces in the arena. To be frank, I'd be happy if they did it and I (no one) ever knew about it.
 

Forepar

Registered User
Nov 6, 2011
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South-Central Ohio
I cannot get away from feeling absolutely and overwhelmingly gutted for the Gaudreau family primarily.
But also for the CBJ players - and the organization overall.
It's a relatively constant feeling for 6 days,
And I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed too, which makes no sense. For this 60+ year-old man, it is out of character and over the top.
But it's there.

Just watched the entirety of the press conference.
I was struck by how each of the 5 speakers was unable to speak with much emotion or energy.
Not being critical. If you don't read the entirety of this admittedly TL;DR post, then just know that my take is that DW, Boone, Z, Guddy and Kurls did all they humanly could today.

I watched the presser with hope of hearing something, anything, to lift me up.
I anticipated sadness.
I anticipated quietness.
I didn't expect funny stories (yet), but I thought there might be some kernel of insight into Johnny via their words that would at least help me (selfish thought).
But there was no new insight - no start to any healing. Just deep sadness.
During the presser, I kept wanting detailed personal stories, more emotion, more energy. More SOMETHING.
In short, I expected more from the press conference.
At the end of the presser, I felt like I got nothing. Nothing but deep sadness.
I felt worse.


And then after a while, it hit me. How could I expect anything like that level of intimacy/disclosure from any of those 5, who knew Johnny personally (some intimately as teammates do), whose lives are directly turned upside down by Johnny's death, when.... someone like me, who never met Johnny personally, who will not experience any direct loss or effect on my day-to-day life as a result of his death, who isn't some hero-worshipping fan but does love hockey and the Jackets, has been in tears every morning, again in the evening and then again late at night for 6 days?
Of course they are doing the same, at a deeper level, with their careers directly tied to Johnny. Of course they are...how could they not?

This afternoon, the tears dried up.
Instead, this afternoon I have been in an almost catatonic state, eyes hollow.
Almost emotionless, yet full of emotion. Full of sadness but nowhere to go with that sadness...it's just there.
Kind of what I saw at the presser.

And then at 5:30 pm today, I finally see that I totally missed on how all 5 of those speakers would (understandably) be completely and utterly washed out - gutted to their core. They have to be at the utter empty stage.
They have not been emotionless; they were not really emotionless today.
It's that their emotions have been out there, raw, for almost 6 days now, just not for us to see.
That has sapped every ounce of energy any of them may have. They have nothing left in the tank to express their emotions, without just sobbing on a shoulder/pillow. And yet there they were, at a microphone, in a very sterile and somber presser, and idiot me wanting more than they could possibly give.

This wasn't the funeral or memorial service...those 5 haven't processed anything but pain, loss and devastating sadness - and will be processing that for a while, if not forever. They weren't speaking directly to the Gaudreau family today, they weren't hugging the Gaudreau family or their teammates today. Today was simply a necessary but painful step of showing the CBJ presence to the media and the CBJ base - something that the organization needed to do, for PR purposes before more days passed. The truly meaningful messages from the CBJ to the Gaudreau family and within the CBJ family happen much more privately.

And that, for me personally, helps explain why I feel the way I do, still today.
I can't imagine the pain, the loss, the loneliness, and yes, even the fear of what this coming season will be like, that each one of those 5 is feeling.
For me to have expected more from any of them was not just unrealistic but grossly unfair.
I usually am one to think that what goes on in the room stays in the room - but somehow, Johnny's passing and the outpouring of pain and support made me want to be part of that team today, inside that room, to start healing with them. I have no business thinking that- but I do. Not because I have anything to offer them - but because I needed something from them to pull me out of whatever "this" is.

It's what being a Jacket fan does to me - they are in many respects an escape hatch from the real world; it is reality tv as only sports can be.
Only the last 6 days have not been an escape hatch of any kind. And so I (and presumably others) feel a deeper sense of loss - not only for Johnny but in losing our escape from reality. Because the last 6 days have been the true human reality show. And it's hard.

Those 5 did the absolute best they could today.
None of them, including DW, should have been expected to put cogent thoughts together on paper, let alone express those thoughts orally in some eloquent way. At the funeral, maybe. But not today. The healing for them will start, maybe after hugging the Gaudreau family, maybe after hearing others speak of Johnny at the funeral/memorial service. Maybe that healing doesn't start for days/weeks/months later for some. But it will start someday. And maybe, just maybe, my someday started now - writing has always been my catharsis. Just never thought to share it here on the CBJ board like this. But here I am, wanting to support the Gaudreau family and the CBJ players/staff - and wondering why I am affected as much as I am?
 
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Double-Shift Lasse

Just post better
Dec 22, 2004
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I’d like to make two things clear:

1) While it’s always helpful in some degree to try and understand our feelings, we never have to justify them. Take time to understand the difference and give yourself some freedom to feel stuff.

2) Community is where you find/build/cultivate it. Speaking on behalf of myself I’m happy if this board can serve as community where folks can come and be lifted up/affirmed and/or had kind words offered up on their behalf or feel safe enough to share some thoughts that helps them work things out.
 
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Fred Glover

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Nov 17, 2007
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I am on overload at the moment. I was raised by a single father while we lived next door to his sister (a single mother) and her daughter. They were like a mother and sister to me.
Last April my aunt, who was practically my mother, died. A year later her daughter, my in spirit sister, died. Two months later my best friend from high school died. A month ago we found out that our dog has bladder cancer and will not make it to the end of the year. Three weeks ago my dad died. Two weeks ago my boss totally screwed me so bad that his boss has apologized at least 5 times and asked what can he do to make it right? Then Johnny is killed just under a week ago. I need a vacation from life.
But even with all of that I don't think it's as bad as what the Gaudreaus are going through. My heart aches for them even with all of my own troubles.
Praying for you
 

MissADD

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Jun 21, 2018
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You can tell how messed up they were, especially Gudbranson. It just shows how much he meant to the locker room. I don't know his face, but someone said they saw Monahan on the live stream.
 

squashmaple

gudbranson apologist
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Sep 24, 2022
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Looks like quite a lot of the team is there. Along with the three obvious, on the livestream I saw Sillinger, Johnson, Greaves, Tarasov, Christiansen, Olivier, Harris, Monahan (barely holding it together), Provorov, Fantilli, Kuraly, Elvis, even del bel Belluz. There was another guy with them whose face looked familiar but I’m not sure of the name to match it.
 

Derby

Pilsners in Prague
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Dec 30, 2009
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Home from the memorial on the plaza. I just wanted to post my reason for driving down on my own this evening to attend. Like everyone, I have been truly shaken by this tragedy. My heart is grieving through the lens of a mom with 30-something kids of my own. This is literally every parent's worst nightmare. My tears have been chiefly for Guy and Jane. My motivation to hold a candle tonight with my CBJ family was 100% driven by a desire to show up for those boys wearing the Union Blue this season. The players' grief was palpable. Gudbranson, in particular, appears truly heartbroken. This season will be unlike any other, and we have had more tough times than many organizations.
My heart is with those young men who are grieving the loss of an extraordinary teammate and friend who was, by all accounts, quite an exceptional person.
 

CarolinaBlueJacket

Registered User
Mar 3, 2011
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North Carolina
According to NHTSA, someone is killed by a drunk driver every 45 minutes in the US. That means 192 people have been killed by a drunk driver since Johnny and Matty were killed. Let that sink in for a minute... 192 more families are going through this just since last week.
Tomorrow 32 people are going to die in DUI accidents and they have no idea that today is their last full day alive. There are 32 more people that only have 2 days to live because of a drunk driver and they have no idea. This happens every day!!
 

CBJx614

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May 25, 2012
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I've been a bit of an apologist of his since the beginning, but man I couldn't agree more. Dudes a leader. Hope he and the other captains can get the boys though this.
Just as importantly, I hope the boys can get the leaders through this. It's usually the ones who are acting okay and looking after others that need it the most. Especially with Gudbranson, he was arguably the closest one to him in the room.
 

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