Hello, my name is Erik Karlsson. I'm a hockey player currently residing near San Jose. I've been doing my shit now for 30 years. I'm not tired. Last year my teammates stood up real well for me making my PPG reach ridiculous levels. Everything went in and I even got an award for it. Unlike van Gogh. Now, with the last trade of yours, three HAPPY players seem to have joined your team making it awfully DEEP. Myself, I only need a few top players, though to make it work for my part. They seem to be right where you are. I'm talking about Josh, Chief, Nikko, Goose and Buick. And with a capable third line my burden is a LOT easier. Looking forward to hearing from you since time is running out and it seems Sidney X-Box only wants to make sure no other team keep the rights to my services. Big Mike seems to want me as well. As a magnet for the home games, I can imagine.
A long time fan of Fjällby, de Melo and Names to mention a few, I think we could have fun together. And remember, if you win the hockey games I peg out on the golf course.
Sincerely, Erik.
References:
Victor Hedman (defenseman in Tampa Bay)
Daniel Alfredsson (Ottawa unemployed)