Getting older pisses me off.
When I was in my teens and 20s, I played soccer all the time. I would run through sprained ankles, back spasms, muscle pulls and everything else. I had an accident at work once where I actually got taken out in an ambulance on a headboard and I was back on the field the following week. I could eat an extra large pizza and chase it with a 3-Liter of Pepsi and wake up the next morning lighter than I was the night before.
Now, I don't even have to eat food to put on weight -- I can just drive down the street where it's sold, and the molecules flying through the air will attach themselves to me. And if a pine cone falls out of a tree and hits the ground in my zip code, my asshole will fall out of my butt, down the leg of my jeans and hit the floor.
