SlapJack
Scum bag Sens
- Dec 6, 2010
- 2,142
- 1,698
Cup favourite Leaves look to extend their home playoff winning streak to 2 games after going 1-8 in the 9 games prior, or 5-16 in 21 games if you need a bigger sample size to make the first sample seem like an anomaly. Their stellar 1-4 record of the Auston era when hosting game 1 will be put to the test as well and the team has taken great steps to prepare this group of future champions for the inevitable parade planned on the precise date of Jun 17th, 20_%
"We've sequestered the team in the rink since Wednesday and convinced them that the game against Detroit was game 81. A few players stared at the floor in confusion when informed there was still one regular season game left, but we gaslit them by stating we've only played Ottawa 3 out of 4 times this year - what are you stupid?" said a source that refused to go on record.
Some of the players found it odd that the team took all of their electronic devices and forbade any human contact which included their wives and children, but Berube framed this hiatus from life as a "last game of the season team building exercise".
"Being a new coach occasionally gives you some latitude with the players", said Berube. "Professional athletes can be quite simple and detached from reality, so every once in a while we can make up shit like this and they'll believe it. Like if people only knew the true story behind Matthew's mustache, they would be astounded...who in the world could ever think that story was remotely credible? But that's not the focus here and I digress - we need to prepare ourselves for game #82 on 420. We just hope the fans can get with this program tonight by not rattling the players like every other season with the crushing weight and anxiety of their expectations. Venue staff have erected extended signage through the building saying BE COOL and SHHH STFU, so we'll see if they'll comply to help us out for a change."
The Leaves 3-1 end of regular season/Game 1 loss tonight will be broadcast live at 7pm EST
"We've sequestered the team in the rink since Wednesday and convinced them that the game against Detroit was game 81. A few players stared at the floor in confusion when informed there was still one regular season game left, but we gaslit them by stating we've only played Ottawa 3 out of 4 times this year - what are you stupid?" said a source that refused to go on record.
Some of the players found it odd that the team took all of their electronic devices and forbade any human contact which included their wives and children, but Berube framed this hiatus from life as a "last game of the season team building exercise".
"Being a new coach occasionally gives you some latitude with the players", said Berube. "Professional athletes can be quite simple and detached from reality, so every once in a while we can make up shit like this and they'll believe it. Like if people only knew the true story behind Matthew's mustache, they would be astounded...who in the world could ever think that story was remotely credible? But that's not the focus here and I digress - we need to prepare ourselves for game #82 on 420. We just hope the fans can get with this program tonight by not rattling the players like every other season with the crushing weight and anxiety of their expectations. Venue staff have erected extended signage through the building saying BE COOL and SHHH STFU, so we'll see if they'll comply to help us out for a change."
The Leaves 3-1 end of regular season/Game 1 loss tonight will be broadcast live at 7pm EST
