Unbelievable.
Is Schwartz the coach of this team? I might have to apologize to Woodcroft. What a joke.
We're secretly in Purrgatory and the menu is Skinner starts every day and its a Triangle Universe where events keep repeating themselves. As if to try to stymie this fate KK is removing Broberg from the game so that he can't trip on an errrant stick giving up a two on one. They're also taping Hymans stick to him so that he isn't going to the bench for a new stick during play.
Draisaitl will be seen wearing a Joker mask so that it looks like he's smiling once in awhile.
McD will turn in his jet pack because its not working anymore.
Nurse will be wearing a helmet in practice so he doesn't get dinged with a puck in the noggin even before the game starts. Not that it matters.
Skinner will be given a cast iron frying pan because what does he do with a stick and glove anyway
Booch will get an app for playing D. VR headset so he can pretend he's Bobby Orr.
Erne will be using a baseball bat because whatever
Mcleod in first period will skate so fast he escapes gravitational force and goes into orbit.
Connor Brown will get a breakaway on a perfect pass from Draisaitl and crash into the boards losing the puck
Ryan lied on his birth Certificate, he's really 58.
Janmark gets nothing stated about him which is apt
Desharnais gets boxing gloves because what else does he do?
Coffey will reminisce about better times.
KK will wish he still at home with his lovely wife.
I'm trying not to leave anything out.