Favourite Simpsons Moments

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"It also says here it's illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purpose of gambling."
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Hey I was watchin' that!!!! And I was sittin' there!!!
Mayor Quimby: Wiggum, you glorified night watchman, let her go!
Chief Wiggum: But... but she broke the law.
Mayor Quimby: Thanks for the civics lesson. Now listen: if Marge Simpson goes to jail, I can kiss the chick vote goodbye. And if I go down, you're gonna break my fall!
Chief Wiggum: Word to the wise, Quimby: don't write checks your butt can't cash.
Mayor Quimby: Hear me loud and clear, Wiggum: you bite me, I'll bite back!
Chief Wiggum: You talk the talk, Quimby, but do you walk the walk?
 
Consultant: You haven't set aside anything for the future!
Chief Wiggum: Ah, you know how it is with cops. I'll get shot three days before retirement. In the business we call it retirony.
Consultant: What if you don't get shot?
Chief Wiggum: What a terrible thing to say! Ah look, you made my wife cry!
 
Krusty: Tonight I'm going to suck...
[waits for cue card]
Krusty: ...your blood.
Well, we're still on. 346 consecutive hours. And all because of one little boy who...WHO WON'T LET ME STOP!! Anyway, now let's go and see if Sideshow Mel has any more of those legal, over-the-counter wake-up drugs of his!
 
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