TV: Favourite Simpsons Moments | Part III

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Well class the history of our country has been changed again to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test. America was now discovered in 1942 by ‘some guy’, and our country isn’t called America anymore, it’s ‘bonerland.

 
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Homer : Mr. Burns, you do this personally?
Mr. Burns : Oh, it's a hobby. I'm not in this for any personal gain, heavens no! By the way, are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws?

Homer: Usury?

Mr. Burns: Silly me, I must’ve just made up a word that doesn’t exist!
Just sign this form, and the money will be yours. Muhahahahaha...Ahem. Sorry, I was just um, eh, um, thinking of something funny Smithers did today
 
Burns: Listen here… I want to join your team.
Homer: You want to join my what?
Smithers: You want to what his team?
Burns: I've had one of my unpredictable changes of heart. Seeing these fine young athletes, reveling in the humiliation of a vanquished foe… mmm, I haven't felt this energized since my last… er… boweling.

Homer:
Woo hoo! We won! We won!
Burns: You mean, I won.
Apu: But we were a team, sir.
Burns: Oh, I'm afraid I've had one of my trademark changes of heart. You see, teamwork will only take you so far. Then, the truly evolved person makes that extra grab for personal glory. Now, I must discard my teammates, much like the boxer must shed roll after roll of sweaty, useless, disgusting flab before he can win the title.
 
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