TV: Favourite Simpsons Moments | Part III

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The kick is up. It's looking good.

THE BALL IS TURNING INTO A FAT, BALD GUY!
 
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"Remember the time he locked the old thread, and you lied to me and said I never had an old thread. Then why’d I have the bookmark, @LeafalCrusader ? Why did I have the bookmark?"
 
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You just have to accept it: the old thread is gone.
Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like Old Thread food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of Old Thread food until your tears smell enough like Old Thread food to make your Old Thread come back, or you can go out there and find your Old Thread.
 
A good simpsons thread is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin...then the sweet, sweet innards...

Actually, a new Simpsons thread is more like a beer.

They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

But you can't stop at one....You wanna drink another Simpsons thread!

So I says yeah, if you want that new Simpsons thread come and find it, cuz I don't know where it is you baloney! You make me wanna retch!
 
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Lisa: Wait! Doesn't the Bible say "Judge not, lest ye be judged?"
Townspeople: (muttering variously) Hey, yeah! She's right! I guess so.
Chief Wiggum: The Bible says a lot of things. NOW SHOVE HER!!
 
Homer : "You'd think that wouldn't you? But you see, Lisa, your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's OK in the bible."
Lisa: "Really? Where?"
Homer: "Uhh...somewhere in the back."
 
Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like Old Thread food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of Old Thread food until your tears smell enough like Old Thread food to make your Old Thread come back, or you can go out there and find your Old Thread.

Almost had him eating Old Thread food.
 
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