On the bolded, and this is the most important part of my reply. If you're really serious and considering this, please PM me and/or any of the mods here.
By your post I can tell that you're really frustrated and feel stuck, but trust me, you're not. I don't know your family/friend situation, but is there anyone that would let you crash somewhere else in the country (even just a few days) just to scope out the job market there? Is moving feasible? I seem to remember from other posts that you say you have a young family (sorry if I'm thinking of someone else). Thing is with having kids is if they're old enough, taking them out of school and moving somewhere hundreds or thousands of miles away can be a really tough adjustment for them, at best.
There's nothing worse than feeling stuck in the job that you are. It's probably the most important of my personal ten commandments of having a job/considering a move. For anyone else that may be interested, these are my personal ten commandments that can apply to any field, really:
1. If you feel you are underpaid relative to your peers in the area, leave.
2. If your boss sucks, leave.
3. If the work environment is toxic (****ty coworkers, too strict or too lax of a work atmosphere), leave.
4. If your job efforts are being subverted by outside entities or your superiors, leave.
5. If your benefits and/or pay get cut, consider leaving.
6. If your commute is hilariously bad, consider leaving.
7. If you're being asked to break the law, definitely look to leave ASAP
8. If you're offered a promotion with another company with similar benefits, similar or better pay, definitely leave
9. If your hours are long or odd, and you're being asked to work a **** ton of overtime, consider leaving (if you don't want the overtime)
but most importantly:
10. If you're feeling stuck in a job with no chance of advancement or promotion, start looking for a new job.
I wish you luck, but especially to the bolded, I'm here and HFNYR are here to chat
Thank you. Am I serious about the bolded? No, not really. Just frustrated to a boiling point that's ready to blow over.
As for friends, not many there, not many here either. Mostly anyone we know here is through my daughter's school (or sports), which frankly, is about the only place in this city, outside of my church where I feel any sense of calm. We have a basketball game tonight and I work the ticket gate.
My daughter is 10. Not exactly a young family, and we got married late. I'm 48. Moving is definitely an option, but it's going to be something where we know nobody (as I am not moving back to the NYC area, unless I can double my salary.) Not that is such an awful thing. When we moved to Charlotte, it was something that we planned to be temporary, we really didn't attempt to make friends with anyone as it wasn't a place we really wanted to be for any length of time. Raleigh/Triangle was weird, but it started feeling like home in some ways. Here we are now, 12 1/2 years in, and, like I said, outside of our daughter's school, we hate it here. We should have left in Spring 2011 after I was fired from a job for who knows what reasons, but the housing market was still in the tank and we wouldn't have gotten anything. Daughter was 3 and wouldn't have missed anything.
As for your ten:
1. I don't know any more. I think a lot of people my age and skill set have either transitioned to manager roles, have left the area, or are eating **** sandwiches like me.
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Yes
5. Pay not cut/benefits are a joke for a company this size
6. Yes and No. Distance isn't bad at all. The fact I'm in ridiculous traffic before 7 AM in pitch black darkness is insanity, and if I tried to get in later, I wouldn't have a parking spot.
7. That's a maybe. Not like criminal prosecution laws, but we aren't doing the right thing by our customers, and we've been dinged, hard.
8. Don't I wish. Jobs just don't exist at the level I'm looking.
9. No. That's about the only advantage of working here.
10. Yes
I've been looking for another job for almost three years. I got the one in Nashville, but never got an offer thanks to the hiring manager getting greedy. Anything local, I'm either grossly overqualified for, the pay is a joke, or it is so niche that they can't find anyone.
I mean I have TWENTY YEARS experience in banking IT. It's not like I can't run projects (as I have), manage people (as I have), understand applications and application support (as I have done.) But because it's never been my primary role, I'm not seen as someone who's an asset, outside of doing what I've been doing for the past six years. I just don't understand how I GOT a senior level Project Manager job in Nashville and was told was one of the best candidates they'd ever seen for the role, yet I can't even get an interview for a middle range PM in Charlotte (when once in a blue moon that these positions are even available.)
I'm not trying to brag, but I know enough about the IT world that I could probably help out a start-up at a Director level and get them running. Was even told that by a recruiter. Around here though, the start-ups think anyone over the age of 35 is washed up and wouldn't even look at me.