OT: Career advice

[Kane One]

Yeah I know how much I hated being a contractor. It feels like you're not part of the company among other problems.

It wasn't so much that I wasn't really part of the company; it's that now there's a lot more certainty of where I'll be, and my peers working on projects with me now won't be the only ones getting bonuses.

Also, now all the people who are like "you should do X, Y, and Z because it will help your chances of becoming full-time" can now shut the f*** up already because next month I will be full-time, so they can do their own work now.

So all in all, the pay is now much, much better, even though I was still a bit disappointed of what the number is. I assumed I'd be contributing $0 towards health insurance, which is not the case, but it's not much at all. They contribute a lot to the 401k, which is obviously nice. And somehow even though I start next month, I'm still eligible for the upcoming bonuses, which I didn't expect at all.

Not too much to complain about as I still only have like 2 years experience so I can't really be all that demanding of what I get. I suppose I'm happy.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

I'm in a crisis right now. It's partially personal and partially career. I just have this really bad feeling that I'm not cut out for the type of jobs I want. And it's not just because of a lack of experience. It's in part that I don't have amazing experience but it's much more than that. I don't know how much I want to get into but I feel like the type of person that succeeds in business has the opposite personality of me. They tend to be these quiet reserved guys that show no emotion. I'm the opposite of that. I always wish that I'd find a company where they're a little more open minded. But I don't know maybe at some point I just have to change who I am. I've worked at it, but it's not easy. It's my personality.

Sorry about opening up here but I've been really down lately.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

It wasn't so much that I wasn't really part of the company; it's that now there's a lot more certainty of where I'll be, and my peers working on projects with me now won't be the only ones getting bonuses.

Also, now all the people who are like "you should do X, Y, and Z because it will help your chances of becoming full-time" can now shut the **** up already because next month I will be full-time, so they can do their own work now.

So all in all, the pay is now much, much better, even though I was still a bit disappointed of what the number is. I assumed I'd be contributing $0 towards health insurance, which is not the case, but it's not much at all. They contribute a lot to the 401k, which is obviously nice. And somehow even though I start next month, I'm still eligible for the upcoming bonuses, which I didn't expect at all.

Not too much to complain about as I still only have like 2 years experience so I can't really be all that demanding of what I get. I suppose I'm happy.

I had other issues too. Though I was kind of glad that I had an expiration date, I wanted to get out of there. Sucked not having paid vacation days and health care, though.

 

[East Coast Bias]

I'm in a crisis right now. It's partially personal and partially career. I just have this really bad feeling that I'm not cut out for the type of jobs I want. And it's not just because of a lack of experience. It's in part that I don't have amazing experience but it's much more than that. I don't know how much I want to get into but I feel like the type of person that succeeds in business has the opposite personality of me. They tend to be these quiet reserved guys that show no emotion. I'm the opposite of that. I always wish that I'd find a company where they're a little more open minded. But I don't know maybe at some point I just have to change who I am. I've worked at it, but it's not easy. It's my personality.

Sorry about opening up here but I've been really down lately.

There is no model for how you have to be in buisness. There’s things that help, for sure. And there’s different types of industries that attract similar minded people for sure. But don’t let a prototypical model of who you should be get you wound up. There is something for you, you just gotta find it.

It’s very difficult to change who you are. If you’re high strung, you’re high strung. I am. I take work home with me at times, stupid stuff that i can’t help. I get frustrated at work. When I was younger and more high strung, I found i did better in faster moving environments. I liked working in operations where the pace was rapid as opposed to project life cycles where things ebb and flow. As i got older, bought a house and got married, I mellowed and project work is more for me. Where you are may require too much patience than you have.
(Sorry I’m not prying - just using what you talked about as an example).

You just have to work at it. Exercising helped me a lot. Cutting down on caffeine too believe it or not. I love coffee. I was drinking too much too. Didn’t even realize the cafffeine just got me more anxious.

Don’t get down. There’s a ton of people just like you experiencing the same stuff.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

There is no model for how you have to be in buisness. There’s things that help, for sure. And there’s different types of industries that attract similar minded people for sure. But don’t let a prototypical model of who you should be get you wound up. There is something for you, you just gotta find it.

It’s very difficult to change who you are. If you’re high strung, you’re high strung. I am. I take work home with me at times, stupid stuff that i can’t help. I get frustrated at work. When I was younger and more high strung, I found i did better in faster moving environments. I liked working in operations where the pace was rapid as opposed to project life cycles where things ebb and flow. As i got older, bought a house and got married, I mellowed and project work is more for me. Where you are may require too much patience than you have.
(Sorry I’m not prying - just using what you talked about as an example).

You just have to work at it. Exercising helped me a lot. Cutting down on caffeine too believe it or not. I love coffee. I was drinking too much too. Didn’t even realize the cafffeine just got me more anxious.

Don’t get down. There’s a ton of people just like you experiencing the same stuff.

Thanks. I was having a conversation with a friend who is similar to me and we were discussing this. It hurts my interviewing too. It friggin sucks.

 

[Kane One]

I had other issues too. Though I was kind of glad that I had an expiration date, I wanted to get out of there. Sucked not having paid vacation days and health care, though.

My last day is September 11 on my contract.

When people at work ask me that, I say “the 11th of next month” because saying “September 11 is my last day” to someone in an NY skyscraper may come off a bit suspicious.

The consulting company I work for pays half rate for vacation days and they pay 65% of health insurance. Now that I’m about to be salary-based, vacation days are obviously paid for. My health insurance premium is about to drop in half of what I’m currently paying.

FYI, the people here who succeed are not the quiet type, so if you are open-minded and always try to give an opinion, you should definitely succeed. It just depends on how you come across with your opinions.

 

[Edge]

I'm in a crisis right now. It's partially personal and partially career. I just have this really bad feeling that I'm not cut out for the type of jobs I want. And it's not just because of a lack of experience. It's in part that I don't have amazing experience but it's much more than that. I don't know how much I want to get into but I feel like the type of person that succeeds in business has the opposite personality of me. They tend to be these quiet reserved guys that show no emotion. I'm the opposite of that. I always wish that I'd find a company where they're a little more open minded. But I don't know maybe at some point I just have to change who I am. I've worked at it, but it's not easy. It's my personality.

Sorry about opening up here but I've been really down lately.

I think the key thing to remember is that almost everyone has thoughts and feelings similar to what you're experiencing. It might be about different aspects of their work or life, and they may express it differently, but you're not alone in your thoughts, and doubts, and feelings.

It's also hard because not every job is a good fit, even if your skill set is a match. Just like a relationship, sometimes it could be a "near fit", but the the things that don't align are deal breakers.

Let's be honest, some jobs flat out suck. There are people you'd love to punch in the face if you knew you could legally get away with it, and even more people who probably need some form of therapy.

I learned a long time ago I was never going to "love" what I do for a living and still make good money doing it. So I had to find a balance that gave me the money and the freedom to pursue the activities that would make me happy.

You know what? Years later, it's still a balancing act that isn't always in alignment. So it's constant readjusting, and re-evaluating, and a process that evolves and changes.

But you're not alone in what you feel --- even when it feels like maybe you are.

 

[Ori]

Be yourself in such interviews and no big deal if the application get turned down. (And certainly not end of the world, because too many overreact if he/she don`t get the job. )
What I`ve learned in my 42 years life experience and how successful a person is - sometimes you create own traps for yourself which is not always healthy, because we expect too much of ourselves concerning job responsibility with the experience which is necessary as well as your field of study, and some need to consider that with family life as well.

What I do at the moment; it`s not too important, but a personal interest. I learn some basic Spanish language with a simple mobile App 10 minutes a day each evening, that`s it and it`s fun and interesting to learn new words. Anyway good luck. And I`ve increasing interesting concerning the stock market, so many books you can read about it too which is indeed helpful to earn some easy $.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

I think the key thing to remember is that almost everyone has thoughts and feelings similar to what you're experiencing. It might be about different aspects of their work or life, and they may express it differently, but you're not alone in your thoughts, and doubts, and feelings.

It's also hard because not every job is a good fit, even if your skill set is a match. Just like a relationship, sometimes it could be a "near fit", but the the things that don't align are deal breakers.

Let's be honest, some jobs flat out suck. There are people you'd love to punch in the face if you knew you could legally get away with it, and even more people who probably need some form of therapy.

I learned a long time ago I was never going to "love" what I do for a living and still make good money doing it. So I had to find a balance that gave me the money and the freedom to pursue the activities that would make me happy.

You know what? Years later, it's still a balancing act that isn't always in alignment. So it's constant readjusting, and re-evaluating, and a process that evolves and changes.

But you're not alone in what you feel --- even when it feels like maybe you are.

Thanks! There are other things that I wish I could improve in my life. I always look at self confident people (or at least those that seem self confident) and envy them. I feel like my chronic self doubt seeps through in my work life and hurts my chances to get a job or get ahead. I hope I'm not over-sharing here but looking for work makes me reflect on a lot of things and some of them are pretty daunting.

 

[Kane One]

Thanks! There are other things that I wish I could improve in my life. I always look at self confident people (or at least those that seem self confident) and envy them. I feel like my chronic self doubt seeps through in my work life and hurts my chances to get a job or get ahead. I hope I'm not over-sharing here but looking for work makes me reflect on a lot of things and some of them are pretty daunting.

Words cannot explain how many people where I work seem overly confident, but in reality, they don’t know shit. Emitting self-confidence is just an act to get other people to think that you know what you’re doing.

There are people who don’t try to come off as super self-confident even though they are geniuses and there are others who are the exact opposite.

Just don’t come off as if you’re struggling.

 

[emodwarf]

Thanks! There are other things that I wish I could improve in my life. I always look at self confident people (or at least those that seem self confident) and envy them. I feel like my chronic self doubt seeps through in my work life and hurts my chances to get a job or get ahead. I hope I'm not over-sharing here but looking for work makes me reflect on a lot of things and some of them are pretty daunting.

I'm a copywriter, so I basically hate everything I do and never think it's good enough. I get the self-doubt and not wanting to/not being able to toot your own horn. In the past few years, I've actively worked on getting more confident in my abilities and experience, which has helped me bump my usual hourly rate and then negotiate another 25% on top of that with my current client after a few months demonstrating what I can do for them.

Not saying that to brag, I'm not an amazing copywriter by any means. What changed was how I perceive not just myself and my work, but how I and my work compare to my competition. There are a lot of crappy writers out there. Introspection can be good, as long as you don't confuse self-doubt for self-awareness. One tactic that can help with that is framing things about yourself as if they were about a friend or colleague instead. List your skills, experience, key projects, personality type, work style, whatever. Then walk away for a bit, and when you come back, pretend those things are about someone else. Does your "friend" deserve to be proud of that accomplishment? Chances are, the answer is yes because you'll see things more objectively. We're often our own worst critics, especially for quiet or introspective people.

Sorry if this too personal, but you might want to look into cognitive behavioral therapy? I don't know much about it yet, but from what I know so far, it seems very useful for adjusting how you see, think, and act about things. Being aware of your areas of improvement is good because you can work to better them; chronic self-doubt is bad because instead you work on holding yourself back.

 

[Trxjw]

I'm in a crisis right now. It's partially personal and partially career. I just have this really bad feeling that I'm not cut out for the type of jobs I want. And it's not just because of a lack of experience. It's in part that I don't have amazing experience but it's much more than that. I don't know how much I want to get into but I feel like the type of person that succeeds in business has the opposite personality of me. They tend to be these quiet reserved guys that show no emotion. I'm the opposite of that. I always wish that I'd find a company where they're a little more open minded. But I don't know maybe at some point I just have to change who I am. I've worked at it, but it's not easy. It's my personality.

Sorry about opening up here but I've been really down lately.

Is there some sort of niche where you can leverage that aspect of yourself? I'm sort of the same way actually. I've been doing software engineering for about 10 years now and I've never once been the best engineer on the team. However, I've continually been able to move up and find roles that fit me. Why? Because I embraced the things I was good at and didn't focus so much on my shortcomings. I realized there was a fit for an engineer that understood visual design principles and user experience. I then realized being able to see the big picture when it comes to designing an application was unique, and I was able to move into an architecture role. For the longest time I thought the only way to grow was to fall in line, be a junior, senior, principle, move to management, etc, etc. It required a bit of a leap of faith on my part, but a few years ago I left a job where they told me what I wanted to do wasn't lucrative and had no growth potential. I didn't listen to them and now that company is desperate to hire people like me.

So take a step back and be honest with yourself. What makes you happy about what you do? How does that fit into your current role? The company as a whole? Hell, can you see a vacuum where you might be able to create your own role? Don't look at what everyone else is doing. That'll only keep you down.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

I'm a copywriter, so I basically hate everything I do and never think it's good enough. I get the self-doubt and not wanting to/not being able to toot your own horn. In the past few years, I've actively worked on getting more confident in my abilities and experience, which has helped me bump my usual hourly rate and then negotiate another 25% on top of that with my current client after a few months demonstrating what I can do for them.

Not saying that to brag, I'm not an amazing copywriter by any means. What changed was how I perceive not just myself and my work, but how I and my work compare to my competition. There are a lot of crappy writers out there. Introspection can be good, as long as you don't confuse self-doubt for self-awareness. One tactic that can help with that is framing things about yourself as if they were about a friend or colleague instead. List your skills, experience, key projects, personality type, work style, whatever. Then walk away for a bit, and when you come back, pretend those things are about someone else. Does your "friend" deserve to be proud of that accomplishment? Chances are, the answer is yes because you'll see things more objectively. We're often our own worst critics, especially for quiet or introspective people.

Sorry if this too personal, but you might want to look into cognitive behavioral therapy? I don't know much about it yet, but from what I know so far, it seems very useful for adjusting how you see, think, and act about things. Being aware of your areas of improvement is good because you can work to better them; chronic self-doubt is bad because instead you work on holding yourself back.

Thanks I'm considering some form of therapy but I don't have insurance right now so I'm not sure if it's a great idea. I tried it earlier for when I was without work for a year and she didn't say anything a perceptive friend couldn't. I also never developed a rapport with her. I'll see if I need it, maybe I'll give it a shot.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Is there some sort of niche where you can leverage that aspect of yourself? I'm sort of the same way actually. I've been doing software engineering for about 10 years now and I've never once been the best engineer on the team. However, I've continually been able to move up and find roles that fit me. Why? Because I embraced the things I was good at and didn't focus so much on my shortcomings. I realized there was a fit for an engineer that understood visual design principles and user experience. I then realized being able to see the big picture when it comes to designing an application was unique, and I was able to move into an architecture role. For the longest time I thought the only way to grow was to fall in line, be a junior, senior, principle, move to management, etc, etc. It required a bit of a leap of faith on my part, but a few years ago I left a job where they told me what I wanted to do wasn't lucrative and had no growth potential. I didn't listen to them and now that company is desperate to hire people like me.

So take a step back and be honest with yourself. What makes you happy about what you do? How does that fit into your current role? The company as a whole? Hell, can you see a vacuum where you might be able to create your own role? Don't look at what everyone else is doing. That'll only keep you down.

I'm not sure what makes me happy. I tend to think that I have an analytical mindset but the higher you go the less relevant it becomes and most analyst roles require skills I don't have. I think I have solid strategic thinking skills and I think the Product Marketing Management role would be a good one for me for that reason. I did a lot of the marketing strategy behind a new product at my internship and I think I did well. So I'm looking at these roles. But I'm having a really hard time getting interviews. It's one of those roles that require experience but in order to get experience you need one of these roles. But are any of these my dream job? No. My dream job is watching hockey or football and getting paid.

 

[sjosty26]

Start my one year appointment with USA Hockey tomorrow, so excited

 

[Edge]

I'm not sure what makes me happy. I tend to think that I have an analytical mindset but the higher you go the less relevant it becomes and most analyst roles require skills I don't have. I think I have solid strategic thinking skills and I think the Product Marketing Management role would be a good one for me for that reason. I did a lot of the marketing strategy behind a new product at my internship and I think I did well. So I'm looking at these roles. But I'm having a really hard time getting interviews. It's one of those roles that require experience but in order to get experience you need one of these roles. But are any of these my dream job? No. My dream job is watching hockey or football and getting paid.

Maybe you could try new things? Volunteering with efforts that interest you, taking a community workshop class or something along those lines.

Maybe you could do side consulting for small businesses to gain some experience and try new things. Even if it doesn't pay, it could give you new perspectives and allow you to learn new tricks.

Perhaps try a creative outlet --- that involves hockey or football.

The reality is that scouting jobs and sports reporting don't pay a hell of a whole lot, which is why there's been a shift toward fan-reporting. But I operate under the mindset that I work to live and not the other way around.

 

[iamitter]

Is there some sort of niche where you can leverage that aspect of yourself? I'm sort of the same way actually. I've been doing software engineering for about 10 years now and I've never once been the best engineer on the team. However, I've continually been able to move up and find roles that fit me. Why? Because I embraced the things I was good at and didn't focus so much on my shortcomings. I realized there was a fit for an engineer that understood visual design principles and user experience. I then realized being able to see the big picture when it comes to designing an application was unique, and I was able to move into an architecture role. For the longest time I thought the only way to grow was to fall in line, be a junior, senior, principle, move to management, etc, etc. It required a bit of a leap of faith on my part, but a few years ago I left a job where they told me what I wanted to do wasn't lucrative and had no growth potential. I didn't listen to them and now that company is desperate to hire people like me.

So take a step back and be honest with yourself. What makes you happy about what you do? How does that fit into your current role? The company as a whole? Hell, can you see a vacuum where you might be able to create your own role? Don't look at what everyone else is doing. That'll only keep you down.

Engineering is a great example I find (I'm a software engineer, too). You're all in the same "job", but strengths vary wildly. Finding a workplace that is strengths-based is really helpful, because they help you find the things you're good at & focus on that. Too many people think the best way is to be good at everything & that then means trying to shore up your weaknesses. However, that generally ends up with people working on things they're not good at, becoming demoralized and not even contributing the most you can to your company.

Find a place that will let you work on the things that you're good at (and thus bring you joy). You'll find a niche for you. It's good to know your general direction and job so you know where to start looking, but even more important is finding a workplace that will let you focus on the things where you really shine within that role. That's of course easier said than done, but often this means finding a mentor within your company that can help you figure this stuff out.

There are always going to be things you don't like, but the key is to minimize those & not just work on them 'till they're not weaknesses.

 

[kovazub94]

I'm not sure what makes me happy... My dream job is watching hockey or football and getting paid.

You need to start with this. I'm sure you're not going to be surprised to know that close to 100% around here would say that they'd love to watch hockey and be paid. But coming to grips with reality you either have to find an alternative "passion" that will be able to support you financially or as @Edge said - find something that fits into "work to live" lifestyle that is probably more common than the former.

With respect to confidence during an interview - this is something that you could practice (in front of a mirror or video camera) and get better at. Being energetic during an interview is actually a good thing unless it crosses the line and becomes impolite or tactless if you interrupt or say inappropriate things. This is important. You need to learn to pay attention and be able to read your interviewer (which is actually a good skill to have in life regardless).

 

[Edge]

Practice, practice, practice when it comes to interviews.

Heck, if you have a trusted friend, practice with them.

Get used to how answers sound and how you can "tighten" them up. Becomes familiar with your strengths and weaknesses.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Maybe you could try new things? Volunteering with efforts that interest you, taking a community workshop class or something along those lines.

Maybe you could do side consulting for small businesses to gain some experience and try new things. Even if it doesn't pay, it could give you new perspectives and allow you to learn new tricks.

Perhaps try a creative outlet --- that involves hockey or football.

The reality is that scouting jobs and sports reporting don't pay a hell of a whole lot, which is why there's been a shift toward fan-reporting. But I operate under the mindset that I work to live and not the other way around.

I did start a sports analytics blog regarding football. But I'm not sure about consulting a small business. Not sure if that's something that I have enough expertise on. And no I can't watch football and hockey for a career as a scout, I don't have nearly enough expertise for that.

In the end for better or worse what I identified is the best I can go for for now.

 

[Made Dan]

Start my one year appointment with USA Hockey tomorrow, so excited

Are you the Brendan Burke intern? Very cool if so!

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Hey, guys, I have a question. I sent a company a cover letter. Long story short, I was in the process of adding an extra paragraph targeting that company and then realized it would be better merged in the first paragraph and copy and pasted it up top. The only problem is that I forgot to delete the paragraph I moved. This was magnified by the fact that I ended the extra paragraph was with a sentence that wasn't finished. So it was very conspicuous. Anyway, I changed it and resent the application. I will also email an alum that works at the company directly, and as part of the email I'll include the updated cover letter. Did I f*** up or is this salvageable?

Thanks!

 

[Kane One]

Hey, guys, I have a question. I sent a company a cover letter. Long story short, I was in the process of adding an extra paragraph targeting that company and then realized it would be better merged in the first paragraph and copy and pasted it up top. The only problem is that I forgot to delete the paragraph I moved. This was magnified by the fact that I ended the extra paragraph was with a sentence that wasn't finished. So it was very conspicuous. Anyway, I changed it and resent the application. I will also email an alum that works at the company directly, and as part of the email I'll include the updated cover letter. Did I **** up or is this salvageable?

Thanks!

What's the point of thinking about it? What's done is done.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

What's the point of thinking about it? What's done is done.

The point is I'm hoping for someone to tell me that it's not a big deal, haha.

 

[Irishguy42]

The point is I'm hoping for someone to tell me that it's not a big deal, haha.

Nah. You didn't f*** it up, so long as you sent that email to the alum reasonably quickly.

I bet wrong MS Word docs and stuff happen all the time. Because you knew someone there (the alum), it makes it easier to explain the screw up and have them understand.

As long as your cover letter didn't include the name of a different company, you're gucci.