OT: 119th Obsequious Banter Thread: April Foods Day

[trostol]

this is the kinda stuff ESPN used to show way back..like i would stay up to watch this lol

 

[Lord Defect]

 

[Cody Webster]

Had to skip tonight's game @VladDrag haven't been feeling 100% since getting back from vacation

 

[DancingPanther]

Had to skip tonight's game @VladDrag haven't been feeling 100% since getting back from vacation

Since we're updating our hockey escapades...Fiancee Claus dropped off a new bucket, I grew a beard, and got my eyes fixed since my last game. 2 tucks and an apple in the triumphant return as a new man

 

[Striiker]

View attachment 972055

I don’t smoke but I’m pretty sure I could dodge at least a few bullets

Think about it. Every bullet has a 50% chance of hitting once fired, but if I’m doing some swift and crafty movements then that must help my chances at least a little bit. Meaning I have a better chance of dodging than being hit.

And I could raise my chances even further by wearing all white clothing since obviously we all know that the color white reflects light more than any other color. So if there’s any light shining on the bullet there’s a chance the white will deflect it away.

 

[VladDrag]

Had to skip tonight's game @VladDrag haven't been feeling 100% since getting back from vacation

We won 5-2. Top line LW. One assist.

 

[Lord Defect]

I don’t smoke but I’m pretty sure I could dodge at least a few bullets

Think about it. Every bullet has a 50% chance of hitting once fired, but if I’m doing some swift and crafty movements then that must help my chances at least a little bit. Meaning I have a better chance of dodging than being hit.

And I could raise my chances even further by wearing all white clothing since obviously we all know that the color white reflects light more than any other color. So if there’s any light shining on the bullet there’s a chance the white will deflect it away.

I work with someone that honestly believes that you have a fixed 50/50 chance at winning the lottery. “You either win or lose that’s 50/50.”

 

[ellja3]

I work with someone that honestly believes that you have a fixed 50/50 chance at winning the lottery. “You either win or lose that’s 50/50.”

Whenever someone says anything like this, my brain goes #system_error trying to figure out whether it's a joke or the person is just dumb.

 

[ajgoal]

I don’t smoke but I’m pretty sure I could dodge at least a few bullets

Think about it. Every bullet has a 50% chance of hitting once fired, but if I’m doing some swift and crafty movements then that must help my chances at least a little bit. Meaning I have a better chance of dodging than being hit.

And I could raise my chances even further by wearing all white clothing since obviously we all know that the color white reflects light more than any other color. So if there’s any light shining on the bullet there’s a chance the white will deflect it away.

 

[Lord Defect]

Whenever someone says anything like this, my brain goes #system_error trying to figure out whether it's a joke or the person is just dumb.

We all laughed until we realized he was serious. Then we spent maybe 5 minutes trying to explain it to him how wrong he was. We gave up.
He’s now my boss.

 

[ellja3]

We all laughed until we realized he was serious. Then we spent maybe 5 minutes trying to explain it to him how wrong he was. We gave up.
He’s now my boss.

Life works in unfair ways sometimes.

 

[Kermit the Prog]

We all laughed until we realized he was serious. Then we spent maybe 5 minutes trying to explain it to him how wrong he was. We gave up.
He’s now my boss.

He's a Flat Earther, isn't he?

 

[ybnvs]

And I could raise my chances even further by wearing all white clothing since obviously we all know that the color white reflects light more than any other color. So if there’s any light shining on the bullet there’s a chance the white will deflect it away.

 

[Striiker]

I work with someone that honestly believes that you have a fixed 50/50 chance at winning the lottery. “You either win or lose that’s 50/50.”

Exactly

 

[Striiker]

It’s like magnets on the bottom of a train or covering a cat in buttered toast.

 

[swami24]

She can make even a MJ song sound good.

 

[freakydallas13]

I didn't have enough instruments I barely played, so I decided to get another one.

 

[Flybynite]

I didn't have enough instruments I barely played, so I decided to get another one.
View attachment 972310

 

[Beef Invictus]

"I won't need these teeth when I'm dead."

--Thr Child. Pondering her teeth on the way to the dentist

 

[Flybynite]

"I won't need these teeth when I'm dead."

--Thr Child. Pondering her teeth on the way to the dentist

Would it be wrong to tell a child it will help identify their body if they were burned to a crisp? Yea. I think that's probably not something you would tell a child.

 

[BackToTheBrierePatch]

There was a professional banjo player sitting behind this actor for this scene actually playing the banjo.

 

[Jack Straw]

I didn't have enough instruments I barely played, so I decided to get another one.
View attachment 972310

I have a 6-string banjo. It's tuned like a guitar so I learned a new instrument without actually learning anything.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Would it be wrong to tell a child it will help identify their body if they were burned to a crisp? Yea. I think that's probably not something you would tell a child.

I'm pretty sure she would tell you she wouldn't care because she'd be dead

 

[JojoTheWhale]

I didn't have enough instruments I barely played, so I decided to get another one.
View attachment 972310

Looks like an Audio Technica LP60? Nice choice. How do you like it?

 

[Beef Invictus]

I have a 6-string banjo. It's tuned like a guitar so I learned a new instrument without actually learning anything.View attachment 972335

My daughter has a cheap ukulele and I can't do anything serious with it when it's tuned because it's some kind of weird batshit tuning