Beardy*
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at
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THIS IS A MEDICAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL FOR ALL RESIDENTS ON THE UNITED STATES EAST COAST. A VIRAL EPIDEMIC HAS BEEN DETECTED IN THE NIAGARA FALLS AREA OF NEW YORK AND HAS BEEN QUICKLY SPREADING SOUTH. THIS EPIDEMIC IS EXPECTED TO SPREAD TO AREAS AS FAR SOUTH AS NORTH CAROLINA BY THE EARLY MORNING HOURS. SYMPTOMS HAVE BEEN SHOW TO QUICKLY DETERIORATE THE MENTAL FACULTIES OF THE INFECTED, AND THOSE SHOWING SYMPTOMS SHOULD BE IDENTIFIED AND QUARANTINED AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE FOR THE SAFETY OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
PLEASE NOTIFY LOCAL AUTHORITIES IF YOU NOTICE ANYONE SHOWING ANY SIGNS OF THE FOLLOWING:
DELUSION
ANGER
DEPRESSION
BREAKS FROM REALITY
INTOXICATION
TREAT IMMEDIATELY IF ANY SYMPTOMS APPREAR. PLEASE APPLY DIRECT AND CONSTANT PRESSURE TO THE INFECTED AREA WITH ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IF TREATMENT DOES NOT CURE SYMPTOMS.
Lineups tonight:
Carolina Hurricanes:
Buffalo Säbers:
Tuesday, March 5th, 2013
THIS IS A MEDICAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL FOR ALL RESIDENTS ON THE UNITED STATES EAST COAST. A VIRAL EPIDEMIC HAS BEEN DETECTED IN THE NIAGARA FALLS AREA OF NEW YORK AND HAS BEEN QUICKLY SPREADING SOUTH. THIS EPIDEMIC IS EXPECTED TO SPREAD TO AREAS AS FAR SOUTH AS NORTH CAROLINA BY THE EARLY MORNING HOURS. SYMPTOMS HAVE BEEN SHOW TO QUICKLY DETERIORATE THE MENTAL FACULTIES OF THE INFECTED, AND THOSE SHOWING SYMPTOMS SHOULD BE IDENTIFIED AND QUARANTINED AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE FOR THE SAFETY OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
PLEASE NOTIFY LOCAL AUTHORITIES IF YOU NOTICE ANYONE SHOWING ANY SIGNS OF THE FOLLOWING:
DELUSION
ANGER
DEPRESSION
BREAKS FROM REALITY
INTOXICATION
TREAT IMMEDIATELY IF ANY SYMPTOMS APPREAR. PLEASE APPLY DIRECT AND CONSTANT PRESSURE TO THE INFECTED AREA WITH ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IF TREATMENT DOES NOT CURE SYMPTOMS.
Lineups tonight:
Carolina Hurricanes:
Buffalo Säbers: