What is the Dumbest Way you Have Injured Yourself?

The Head Crusher

Re-retired
Jan 3, 2008
16,763
2,213
Edmonton
Oh boy, I can just imagine that dark feeling in your gut when you hear or that phrase on the morning of your wedding day. :eek:

She was more annoyed than anything that I was interrupting her prep, until I told her what happened, she didn't believe me until I sent her a picture.
 

Erikfromfin

Registered User
May 18, 2013
4,409
1,781
I went to sleep and woke up in morning couldnt raise my hand for 2 weeks. sleeping is dangerous
 

Sweetpotato

Registered User
Jan 10, 2014
6,828
4,025
Edmonton
Not me but my brother.

Used a stick to push the branch of a tree, stepped forward(no idea why he did either)....then let it go and it whipped and hit him in the face.

Lacerated his eyeball, had to have his eyeball tissue stitched in Calgary at the children's hospital. Fortunately it missed anything important in the eye by like 1/4".

NGL I laughed all through the process and 20 years later we still laugh about it, but realistically he was 1/4" away from being a pirate every Halloween for the rest of his life.
 

TD Charlie

Registered User
Sep 10, 2007
38,187
19,500
There's a few. Young and dumb.


12ish years old. Running upstairs to go play Sega in my room, and was bopping left and right, head faking ghosts as I ascended the staircase. At the top I headfaked too hard and ran face first into the wall. I staggered and fell backwards, luckily the steps had a landing so I only fell a few steps. Definitely concussed myself.

Also 12ish, leaving basketball practice at the elementary school. I was one of the first kids that could jump and touch the top of the front door frame at the school, so I always did it to be cool. I went too fast this time, my hands caught something on the frame and my legs flew out, laid me out totally horizontal and I crashed down onto the concrete head first. Definitely concussed myself here too.

My favorite, still 12ish and using my height to my advantage. Ran to a neighbors yard to grab a football for the neighborhood pickup game. Instead of walking around I took a shortcut which was a waist high rock wall. I jumped it clean a million times. This day, I cleared it as I always did, but one of the rocks at the top of the landing was loose, and moved when I stepped on it. I fell backwards off the wall, instinctively putting my arms back to catch my fall. My left shoulder dislocated and it felt like my hip did too. Fast forward 25 years, after multiple dislocations EVERY YEAR since the fall, I now have two screws in that shoulder, and part of my shoulder blade was cut off and attached to the top of the glenoid to prevent my shoulder from dislocating.

I broke my hand going over the bars of my bike when I was 10. Had a splint for a few weeks, it healed totally wrong. Doc said they had to "re-set it." I was 10, and didn't really understand. Using his bare hands, no numbing or anything, the doc proceeds to break my pinky finger. I remember the insanely loud crunch, and then I woke up in a wheelchair slumped over an xray table. My father says I never truly passed out, but I don't remember it.

In high school, after a few feet of snow got dumped on us we decided to pile into the back of a Toyota Tundra and jump out of it into snow banks. It was going well, nobody had died, speed of the truck started getting faster. I saw a good size pile of snow on a street corner and stood ready to jump. A breakdown in communication, and the driver takes the turn way too fast. I panic, and jump anyway. As soon as my feet leave the truck I know I'm in trouble. I sail miles over this snowbank, clear the width of a driveway, and land on a wooden fence. Thankfully it was just a classic post and lentil, not picket. I laid in the street struggling to breathe for what felt like eternity. Nobody in the trunk even knew I jumped. Eventually they realized I was gone and drove around looking for me. I had a nice black, blue and purple line from hip to shoulder, and couldn't breathe right for weeks
 

Egg

Registered User
Sep 3, 2007
2,321
467
This was young, but closed my eyes biking to see how long I could do so.

Am smart so of course scanned ahead for any posts, cars or objects.

Closed my eyes. Hadn't factored in where sidewalks ended. Faceplanted quite good.
 

Egg

Registered User
Sep 3, 2007
2,321
467
Tried to jump a traffic median on Rollerblades while in the UK to impress some gorgeous women who had stopped to stare at my skills.

I kept, doing stunt after stunt. Then tried this one.

One of my back wheels caught the curb and I landed hard and awkwardly.

My pride forced me to stand immediately. Luckily I was wearing dark pants. Had busted up my knees good.

I did similar trying to do a hockey stop at top speed, downhill. Needless to say, I got way more road rash than I would have wanted.
 

Egg

Registered User
Sep 3, 2007
2,321
467
Drunk "punch for a punch" game.

I used to do boxing.

My friend got in well over 110 punches. Same spot. Same arm.

I wasn't going to lose. He caved on my last shot, and had to get X-Rays.

I did nerve damage in my arm, and had a grapruit sized welt.

I couldn't bend it for weeks.

Considering how hard we were throwing them, I think am lucky.
 

Tarantula

Hanging around the web
Aug 31, 2017
4,473
2,934
GTA
I wish the kid at the end was a lounge member, would like to hear how that ended... Love the responsible adult at the stairs, beer and smoke going no doubt.

upload_2021-10-12_15-38-5.jpeg
 

Tarantula

Hanging around the web
Aug 31, 2017
4,473
2,934
GTA
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

A simpler time…

T’was back when kids still acted like kids and not screen addicted zombies. Or..disrespectful little assholes.

Sure was, but we did have hand held devices that got confiscated at school, yes, during the 70's.

upload_2021-10-12_15-52-43.jpeg


I tried playing one just under the desk, like you see drivers do with their cell phone and taped the speaker. Busted.
 

Sega Dreamcast

party like it's 1999
May 6, 2009
47,651
7,292
Charlotte
Slammed a finger in a car door.

Went to push an already-closing door but missed and put my finger right where it would get pinched.

Massive blood clot under the nail, it eventually fell off as the new nail grew in.
 

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