Boys, my son has gone woke! He's a huge Chiefs fan now. I'm sure it's all that swifty propaganda that got to him. Every time we play football, he needs to be the Chiefs, and I need to be some lowly team that gets their ass kicked. It hurts my heart. I never thought my son would be one of 'them'.
My question is- how do I change him? Is conversion therapy still legal? Should I kick him out of the house? He's only 5, but the Spartans did worse, no? I don't know what to do. I never thought MY FAMILY would have to deal with this. I thought I'd love him no matter what, but this may be too far. Gosh darn it! Why does red have to be his favorite color?!