Useless Thread MMI: Babe Woof Depreciation Thread

hey sym thought I was would give you my schedule so that you can change your background while I’m in class watching. 7:45-9:05 est after that you can change your lobby background back to invisible woman since I will be in Honors algbra 2 and have to pay attention. THANK YOU
 
i'm too boomer now back in my day we didn't have phones in school and we only had internet in the computer labs

now kids are watching sym play marvel rivals in class, what a time to be alive

"English class, f*** Faulkner we're watching sym play games"
 
i'm too boomer now back in my day we didn't have phones in school and we only had internet in the computer labs

now kids are watching sym play marvel rivals in class, what a time to be alive

"English class, f*** Faulkner we're watching sym play games"

Then those little shits learn nothing, think school is useless, and become stupid adults.
 
i'm too boomer now back in my day we didn't have phones in school and we only had internet in the computer labs

now kids are watching sym play marvel rivals in class, what a time to be alive

"English class, f*** Faulkner we're watching sym play games"
Part of the reason why the USA will be a third world country in the next 30 years or so.
 
Juan stood proudly outside a Ukrainian military recruitment office, holding his newly crafted plushie eagle, Mr. Freedom, aloft like a battle flag. The plushie had been stitched together during the train ride to Kyiv—its stuffing uneven, its stitching sloppy, and its face slightly lopsided. Yet, to Juan, it was a masterpiece of patriotism and courage.

“I’m here to do my part,” he said confidently to the skeptical soldier manning the desk. The man raised an eyebrow and looked Juan up and down.

“You?” the soldier asked, unimpressed. “You want to join the Ukrainian army?”

“Yes,” Juan replied, puffing out his chest, which only made his shirt ride up over his belly. “I may not know the language or how to use a gun, but I’ve got heart. And this!” He thrust Mr. Freedom forward.

The soldier leaned forward to examine the plushie. “What is… this?”

“This,” Juan said solemnly, “is Mr. Freedom. He represents hope, resilience, and the indomitable spirit of liberty. He will inspire the troops!”

The soldier blinked. “It’s a stuffed bird.”

“Not just any bird!” Juan shot back. “Mr. Freedom is a symbol. A talisman. A beacon of light in these dark times!”

From the corner of the room, Brenda and I watched the exchange unfold. Brenda was munching on a cold slice of lasagna she’d smuggled in her purse, while I buried my face in my hands.

“This is going to end badly,” I muttered.

“Nonsense,” Brenda said between bites. “Juan’s got charisma. And Mr. Freedom’s got star power. This could be their big break!”

Back at the desk, the soldier sighed heavily. “Do you have any military experience?”

“No,” Juan admitted. “But I was in Boy Scouts. Well, I didn’t make it past Tenderfoot, but I did sell the most popcorn in my troop one year.”

The soldier stared blankly at him.

“And,” Juan added, “I can make balloon animals. That’s gotta count for something.”

“I see,” the soldier said, deadpan. “And your plan is to… inspire the enemy with this ‘Mr. Freedom’?”

“No, no!” Juan said, shaking his head. “Mr. Freedom is strictly for our side. He boosts morale. Picture this: soldiers in the trenches, weary and downtrodden, but then—bam!—I show up with Mr. Freedom, and their spirits are lifted. Victory is assured!”

The soldier pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sir, I appreciate your… enthusiasm. But we do not need your stuffed bird. Or your balloon animals.”

“But—”

“Next!” the soldier barked, cutting him off.

Dejected, Juan shuffled back toward us, clutching Mr. Freedom like a wounded comrade. “They don’t appreciate visionaries,” he muttered.

Brenda patted him on the back. “Don’t worry, Juan. We’ll find a way to get Mr. Freedom on the front lines. Maybe we’ll start our own battalion!”

“Please, for the love of God, don’t,” I said.

But Brenda was already scheming, and Juan had perked up at the thought of leading a plushie-inspired military unit.

“I could be General Freedom!” he exclaimed, holding Mr. Freedom high.

“Let’s focus on not getting arrested again,” I said. “That should be the real mission.”

Brenda ignored me and started brainstorming slogans for their imaginary battalion. I groaned, realizing this was only the beginning of yet another bizarre adventure.
 
The flight to Japan was long, but Juan spent every minute of it refining his new persona. By the time we touched down at Narita Airport, he was no longer just Juan Price—he was General Freedom, North Korean Ambassador to Japan.

“I’m bringing the nations together,” he explained proudly as we waited for our luggage. “I’ve always been a unifier.”

Brenda smirked. “You couldn’t even unify the buttons on your shirt.”

Juan ignored her and adjusted his oversized military cap, which he’d bought in Kyiv and adorned with plushie eagle stickers. He struck a pose, clutching Mr. Freedom like a diplomatic scepter. I had to admit, he looked… absurd.

“Listen, Juan,” I said, trying to reason with him. “Do you even know what an ambassador does?”

“Yes, of course,” he said. “They… uh, they make speeches, shake hands, and eat sushi with foreign leaders. I’m perfect for this.”

“Right,” I muttered.

We managed to get through customs without incident—though the officer gave Juan a long, suspicious stare—and by the time we reached downtown Tokyo, Juan was already preparing his first “official” act as ambassador.

At the Tokyo Tower, he stood on the observation deck, cleared his throat, and shouted, “People of Japan! Your ambassador has arrived!”

Every head turned, including mine and Brenda’s. I could feel the shame burning my cheeks.

Juan continued, undeterred. “I bring you a message of unity, freedom, and plushies! Together, we can—”

A security guard approached, waving his hands. “Excuse me, sir, you cannot shout here.”

“Do you know who I am?” Juan asked, puffing out his chest. “I am General Freedom, North Korean Ambassador to Japan!”

The guard blinked. “North Korean… what?”

Brenda stepped in, her trademark smirk firmly in place. “You heard him. The ambassador. And I’m his press secretary. So if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got diplomacy to do.”

The guard was clearly baffled, but Brenda’s confidence was unsettlingly convincing. She dragged Juan and me toward the elevator before things escalated.

“General Freedom needs his sushi,” she said, winking at Juan.

Minutes later, we were at a high-end sushi restaurant. Brenda ordered a sake sampler, while Juan loudly explained to the waiter that he preferred his sushi cooked and served on a “freedom plate.”

“Sir,” the waiter said politely, “that’s not a thing.”

“It is now!” Juan declared. “As ambassador, I demand it!”

The waiter glanced at me. I shrugged apologetically.

By the time the sushi arrived, Juan had completely embraced his new role. He gave an impromptu speech to the entire restaurant about plushie diplomacy and how Mr. Freedom was the future of international relations. Brenda, naturally, chimed in with a new catchphrase: “That’s one banger of a peace treaty!”

As the restaurant patrons stared, I buried my face in my hands.

The real chaos began when a group of actual North Korean officials entered the restaurant. Juan froze mid-sentence, his eyes widening as he realized who they were.

“Ambassador!” Brenda whispered urgently, nudging him.

Juan stood, saluted the officials, and shouted, “Comrades! It’s me, General Freedom!”

The room went silent. One of the officials tilted his head and said, “Who?”

Juan’s face fell. “You don’t recognize me? I’m, uh, the new ambassador. Kim sent me personally!”

The officials exchanged confused looks before one of them leaned over to another and muttered, “Kim would never send an ambassador to Japan.”

As the realization dawned, Juan grabbed Mr. Freedom and bolted for the exit, shouting, “Diplomatic immunity!” Brenda and I scrambled after him, leaving behind a roomful of bewildered diners and very angry officials.

On the streets of Tokyo, Brenda caught up to Juan, panting. “General Freedom, huh?”

“It sounded good at the time!” he said defensively.

I sighed. “Can we just lay low for once?”

But Brenda was already scheming. “No way. If Japan isn’t ready for plushie diplomacy, we’ll take it to South Korea. They love plushies there.”

Juan nodded. “And K-pop. Mr. Freedom could totally go viral.”

I groaned, knowing there was no stopping them. Our next adventure was already taking shape.
 
We had barely settled in South Korea when Juan got an idea that was somehow dumber than usual.

“I’m going to find Shohei Ohtani,” he announced over a breakfast of kimchi pancakes and fried spam. “And I’m going to gamble with him.”

Brenda and I exchanged a glance.

“Juan,” I said, “Ohtani is one of the most famous athletes on the planet. You can’t just find him like he’s hanging out at the local convenience store.”

Brenda smirked. “Unless you check a casino.”

Juan’s eyes lit up. “Exactly! He’s a big gambler. I read it online.”

“That doesn’t mean—” I started, but Juan was already on his phone, Googling South Korean casinos.

Brenda shrugged. “Eh, could be fun. Let’s roll the dice, baby.”

And so, somehow, we found ourselves in a high-end Seoul casino later that night. Juan, dressed in an ill-fitting suit that made him look like a stuffed sausage, clutched a velvet sack filled with plushies.

“You’re not betting plushies,” I warned as we entered.

“We’ll see,” Juan muttered.

Brenda, dressed in an overly glamorous sequined dress she’d probably picked up at a thrift shop, whispered, “This night’s gonna be a banger of a jackpot!”

It didn’t take long before Juan spotted him—Shohei Ohtani, the baseball god himself, seated at a VIP table, casually playing baccarat.

Juan gasped like a teenage girl meeting a boy band. “It’s him.”

To my horror, he marched straight up to the table and slapped down a plush Babe Woof next to a pile of high-value chips.

“Ohtani-san!” he boomed. “I challenge you to a game of chance!”

Ohtani, who had probably never encountered a man like Juan in his life, blinked in confusion. “Excuse me?”

Juan plopped into the seat next to him and pulled out a second plushie—a tiny eagle wearing a baseball cap. “This here is Mr. Freedom. He’s my good luck charm.”

Ohtani gave a polite but distant nod and focused back on his game. That didn’t deter Juan. He exchanged what little real cash he had for chips and started betting wildly.

At first, it was going well. Juan won a few hands and got cocky. He started chugging Millerades between bets, slamming the empty cans under his chair. “Ohtani, my man, you might be good at baseball, but I’m good at winning.

Then the losing streak hit. Hard.

Juan’s stack of chips evaporated like water in the desert. Each loss made him sweatier, his face redder.

Ohtani, meanwhile, remained perfectly calm, his pile of chips growing like a baseball legend’s bank account.

Juan refused to back down. “Double or nothing,” he said, fanning out his last remaining chips.

Ohtani sighed but nodded. The cards were dealt. Juan lost.

Brenda cackled. “Real barroom banger of an ass-kicking.”

But Juan wasn’t done. He opened his plushie sack. “Alright, Shohei, listen. I might be out of chips, but I do have something of value.”

Ohtani, clearly intrigued despite himself, watched as Juan placed three plushies on the table.

“This here is Babe Woof, one-of-a-kind. Mr. Freedom, rare as hell. And—” he dug deeper and pulled out a raggedy, homemade stuffed horse—“Triple Crown Tony. This bad boy is worth at least ten grand.

Ohtani, finally catching on, gave a small smile. “You want to bet… plushies?”

Juan nodded solemnly.

The dealer looked to the casino pit boss, who just sighed and shrugged.

Ohtani chuckled. “Alright. One hand. Winner takes all.”

The cards were dealt.

Juan lost again.

Ohtani reached forward and scooped up every single plushie.

“Nooooo!” Juan wailed. “Not Mr. Freedom! I’ll do anything! A rematch! Best two out of three! I’LL WASH YOUR CAR!

Brenda doubled over laughing. “This is the greatest night of my life.”

Ohtani, still grinning, picked up Babe Woof and inspected it. “I like this one,” he said. Then he turned to the dealer. “I’m cashing out.”

Juan lunged across the table. “Wait! I—I need my plushies back! They’re—”

Two casino security guards immediately grabbed Juan and hoisted him off the ground like a flailing child.

“HELP ME!” he screamed as they dragged him away. “BRENDA! NARRATOR! MR. FREEDOM!!!

Brenda wiped away a tear of laughter. “Oh, man. That was beautiful.”

“Are we going to help him?” I asked.

Brenda shrugged. “Eh. Let him sweat a little. Maybe he’ll finally learn not to gamble.”

Spoiler: He wouldn’t.
 


Joel Embiid has made over $265 million during his NBA career.He’s been active for 446 of 846 games (52.7%) in his 10+ seasons with the 76ers.
 
Chapter 24: Fremont Street Frenzy


The neon-soaked spectacle of Fremont Street greeted the trio with open arms as they stepped out of their Uber onto the bustling pedestrian thoroughfare. Unlike the polished grandeur of the Strip, downtown Las Vegas had a raw, electric energy that buzzed through the air like an overcharged slot machine.


“Now this is the real Vegas,” Juan said, taking in the flashing lights, street performers, and the chaotic hum of voices blending with the sounds of slot machines spilling out of old-school casinos.


Brenda wrinkled her nose. “It smells like deep-fried regret.”


Price smirked. “That’s just old Vegas charm.”




The Madness Begins


As they wandered under the massive LED canopy of the Fremont Street Experience, a pulsating light show erupted overhead, bathing the entire street in a dizzying display of colors and animations. Tourists and locals alike stood in awe, necks craned upward.


Brenda nudged Juan. “You should do the SlotZilla zipline.”


Juan scoffed. “No chance. I don’t trust anything in this city that’s held together with more neon than structural integrity.”


Instead, they strolled past costumed street performers—one dressed as a disturbingly off-brand Spider-Man, another as a shirtless cowboy with an acoustic guitar—before being lured into Binion’s Gambling Hall by a flashing sign that promised $3 Blackjack.


“Alright,” Price said, cracking his knuckles. “Now this is my kind of blackjack.”




The Low-Stakes Table


Unlike the ritzy high-roller rooms on the Strip, this table had a mix of tourists in cargo shorts and old-timers who looked like they hadn’t left since the 1980s. The dealer, a middle-aged woman with a raspy voice that suggested she’d seen it all, barely glanced at them as they sat down.


“You kids ready to lose some money?” she asked, shuffling the deck with practiced ease.


Juan grinned. “We’ll see about that.”


Twenty minutes later, they were absolutely losing money.


Brenda groaned, throwing another chip onto the felt. “Why do I feel like this casino is actively against me?”


Price, who had wisely kept his bets small, shrugged. “Because it is.”


As they finished the round, the dealer gave them a wry smile. “Y’all ain’t too bad. I’ve seen worse.”


Juan sighed. “I think that was supposed to be a compliment.”




The Golden Nugget and a Wild Bet


After cashing out—Price barely breaking even, Brenda and Juan licking their wounds—they made their way to The Golden Nugget, another downtown staple.


Brenda’s eyes lit up at the sight of a gigantic golden nugget encased in glass. “That’s an actual gold nugget?”


Juan leaned in. “What if we staged a heist?”


Price shook his head. “One, we’d fail. Two, it’s probably worth less than what we lost at blackjack.”


Instead of planning a grand theft, they settled at the casino’s Shark Tank Bar, which had an actual shark tank behind it. Sipping on oversized cocktails, Juan made a bold proclamation.


“One last bet before we leave,” he said, spinning his drink in his hand. “Something stupid.”


Brenda raised an eyebrow. “Define ‘stupid.’”


Juan grinned. “I put a hundred bucks on red at the roulette table.”


Price exhaled. “This is exactly how people end up selling their kidneys in Vegas.”


But Brenda was already on board. “Let’s do it.”




The Roulette Gamble


They found an open roulette table, the dealer giving them an indifferent nod. Juan slid a crisp hundred-dollar bill onto the felt.


“Red,” he declared confidently.


The dealer spun the wheel, and the trio watched with bated breath as the ball clattered around the numbers.


It bounced. Skipped. Landed.


Red.


Juan threw his hands in the air. “YES! Finally, Vegas pays me back!”


Brenda cheered while Price smirked, shaking his head. “You’ll just lose it again tomorrow.”


Juan grabbed his winnings. “That’s future Juan’s problem.”




The Walk Back


As they strolled back down Fremont Street, buzzing from their victory, a man in an Elvis costume nodded at them.


“Y’all got that Vegas luck tonight, huh?”


Brenda grinned. “Something like that.”


Juan twirled a chip between his fingers. “Maybe Fremont isn’t so bad after all.”


Price, ever the realist, gestured at a stumbling tourist trying to ride a mechanical bull in the middle of the street. “Let’s just get out of here before we end up like that guy.”


Laughing, they made their way toward the taxi line, another Vegas memory in the books.




To be continued...
 
Accepted a new job last night. Feels good man. 20% increase in base salary, another $5k/year in perks like gym, internet, etc. Already had a great PTO policy but somehow even better with the new gig.

Crazy how fast it went. Recruiter reached out Friday, met with hiring manager Monday, panel interview with team yesterday morning, offer received and signed shortly after dinner.
Congrats my man

You are worth every penny of it, deserve it, earned it ... go f***ing get it

IM trying to break out of Hotel California mind state of the middle class. I could go from the 100s to 300-500s pretty easy but I dont have the fire. Its comfortable working for someone else, in and out hours, nice office, I get to eat, drink and be merry at like Outback instead of Ruth Chris

Im not a member of a private country club .. but the municipal course is nice enough

IM stuck in "its nice enough"

and Im kinda alright with it
 
  • Love
Reactions: GIADF
Congrats my man

You are worth every penny of it, deserve it, earned it ... go f***ing get it

IM trying to break out of Hotel California mind state of the middle class. I could go from the 100s to 300-500s pretty easy but I dont have the fire. Its comfortable working for someone else, in and out hours, nice office, I get to eat, drink and be merry at like Outback instead of Ruth Chris

Im not a member of a private country club .. but the municipal course is nice enough

IM stuck in "its nice enough"

and Im kinda alright with it

I'm at a point where if I didn't make any major career advancements for the rest of my life I'd be fine. We can pay our mortgage off early, travel the world, do whatever we want, etc on our current salaries that will just keep going up and up with COL raises and all that. Not to mention our investments.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Neil Racki
IMG_3418.jpeg
 
People talking about Justin Tucker:

"The owners confirmed that they banned him. This isn't a matter of he said/she said."

Without any record of proof, that's literally hearsay.
 

Ad

Upcoming events

Ad