Useless Thread MM: RIP Bob Uecker - "Just a bit outside"

[John Price]

 

[PanthersPens62]

Oh lookie........another tweet that is multiple years old.

Watching "Joshua"

 

[John Price]

Oh lookie........another tweet that is multiple years old.

Watching "Joshua"

there is no statute of limitations on ownage

 

[John Price]

people ripping on bojangles

are you not educated

 

[John Price]

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Correlation does equal causation, apparently

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

@PanthersPens62

SUNRISE, Fla. -- — Dylan Larkin scored two goals and the surging Detroit Red Wings beat the Florida Panthers 5-2 on Thursday night.

Larkin, Jonatan Berggren and Patrick Kane had power-play goals for Detroit, which also got a goal from Marco Kasper. Cam Talbot stopped 40 shots for the Red Wings, who have won eight of their last nine games.

lol

Anton Lundell and Evan Rodrigues scored for Florida, which is 4-6-1 in its last 11. Sergei Bobrovsky was chased in the second period after allowing four goals on 15 shots




Stanley cup hangover

O-4

 

[John Price]

Wait Cam Telbot is on the wings? That guy sucked ass with the Oilers

 

[Oogie Boogie]

people ripping on bojangles

are you not educated

Is it about the name again?

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Gotta get some groceries today

 

[John Price]

Is it about the name again?

no

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Hood morning and happy fri-yay to the ever wonderful @PanthersPens62

 

[John Price]

 

[John Price]

I'm going to be "Frank" here I don't like Dawn

#TeamMulkey

 

[SoupNazi]

The Plushie Exiles: Shadows in the Capitol

---

Chapter 1: The Watcher in the Shadows​

From a discreet distance, Special Agent Vivian Hargrave adjusted her earpiece and watched as Juan paraded his newly acquired QAnon Shaman plushie down the Capitol steps. Sandy followed, twirling her cape of chocolate wrappers, her enthusiasm bordering on manic.

“Target is leaving the premises,” Hargrave whispered into her mic. “Still no signs of coherence in their goals, but the potential for public disturbance is high.”

A voice crackled in her ear. “Maintain surveillance. This Plushie Party nonsense might seem ridiculous, but remember: the ridiculous often masks the dangerous.”

Hargrave smirked. “Understood, sir. They’re certainly… unique.”

She tucked her phone away and stepped back into the crowd, careful to blend in. The FBI had been monitoring Juan and Sandy ever since their plushie-themed antics in Pyongyang made international news. And now that they were in D.C., with delusions of political grandeur, Hargrave’s assignment was clear: ensure they didn’t turn their chaos into a national security issue.

---

Chapter 2: Plushies and Pancakes​

Juan and Sandy’s next stop was a 24-hour diner called “Capitol Eats,” where they settled into a booth with enough plushies to fill the seats on either side of them. Sandy ordered a stack of pancakes “with extra syrup, because life is sweet,” while Juan spread out a map of Washington, D.C., plotting their next move.

“The National Archives!” Juan exclaimed, slamming his finger onto the map. “We’ll demand they include plushies in the Declaration of Independence!”

“You can’t rewrite history,” I muttered, sipping my coffee.

“History is just a story, and we’re the new authors!” Sandy countered, drowning her pancakes in syrup.

In the corner of the diner, Agent Hargrave sipped her black coffee, pretending to scroll through her phone. She watched as Juan scribbled “Plushie Rights!” in big letters on the map, his determination both baffling and oddly inspiring.

---

Chapter 3: A Close Call​

As we left the diner, Juan insisted on taking a group photo in front of a life-sized Abraham Lincoln statue in the parking lot. Sandy posed dramatically, holding Plushie Shaman above her head like a trophy, while Juan struck a pose that was half superhero, half used car salesman.

“Say ‘Plushie Revolution!’” Sandy cried.

“Plushie Revolution!” Juan bellowed.

From across the street, Hargrave snapped her own photo of the scene with her phone. But as she did, the flash accidentally went off.

Sandy froze. “Did you see that?”

“See what?” I asked, feigning ignorance.

“That woman over there!” Sandy pointed at Hargrave, who quickly ducked behind a parked car. “She took our picture!”

“Maybe she’s a fan,” Juan suggested. “The Plushie Party is gaining traction!”

Sandy wasn’t convinced. “Or she’s a spy. We need to keep our guard up.”

---

Chapter 4: The FBI Gets Personal​

Back at her temporary base—a nondescript motel room with a wall covered in maps and sticky notes—Hargrave reviewed her notes on Juan and Sandy.

“Plushie Party,” she muttered, circling the words on her notepad. “A bizarre mix of delusion, determination, and outright lunacy.”

Her laptop pinged with an email from HQ. Attached was a surveillance photo of Juan and Sandy at the Capitol steps earlier that day. Beneath it was a message:

“These two are now priority targets. Keep close tabs. Their unpredictability could make them dangerous.”

Hargrave sighed and closed the laptop. “Dangerous, sure,” she muttered. “But mostly exhausting.”

She looked at the small plushie Juan had dropped outside the diner earlier—a tiny stuffed eagle with googly eyes. Against her better judgment, she picked it up and placed it on her desk.

“To be continued…”

 

[John Price]

 

[John Price]

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

I'm going to be "Frank" here I don't like Dawn

#TeamMulkey

Well, you're a moron, so of course you would get this wrong

 

[John Price]

Well, you're a moron, so of course you would get this wrong

Forgive me for not being enthusiastic about someone who didn't lose a single college basketball game for 2 years

 

[John Price]

Well fine, Dawn Staley lost one game to Caitlin Clark in the final four lol

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Forgive me for not being enthusiastic about someone who didn't lose a single college basketball game for 2 years

You don't like her because she's too successful, lol

 

[John Price]

She went 32-0, lost one game in the Final Four, and then went 32-0

That's like 64-1 in 2 years

how is that allowed

inb4 college basketball is favorite heavy

You don't like her because she's too successful, lol

well yeah people typically do not like very successful people over time i.e. Belichick

Why do you think people "hate" the Yankees

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Mulkey is just plain unlikeable.

well yeah people typically do not like very successful people over time i.e. Belichick

Why do you think people "hate" the Yankees

The Yankees haven't won f*** all in 15 years, the Cowboys haven't done shit for 30 years, yet people still hate them because they're treated like special teams and get shoved down everyone's throats.

 

[John Price]

if Sasaki signs with the Dodgers I will be disappoint

But I will understand

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

People still call the Patriots, Brady, and Belichick cheaters because they're just jealous of their success.

Spygate and Deflategate were bullshit started by loser franchises like the f***ing Colts and Jets.

"We only lost by 40 because the Patriots deflated their footballs." What nonsense.