Plushie Showdown in Edmonton
Chapter 43: Oilers and Embarrassment
After the disaster in Winnipeg, I hoped the group would take a break from their plushie-fueled antics. Instead, Brenda decided Edmonton was the perfect place for Juan to “make his mark on Canadian sports culture.”
“The Oilers,” Brenda said with dramatic flair, “need a little Plushie Party spirit. Juan will bring it to them.”
“Why not skip Edmonton altogether?” I suggested. “We could... I don’t know... go somewhere quiet?”
“Quiet is for losers,” Brenda said, giving me a pitying look. “We’re visionaries.”
Juan, seated in the back with a new plushie—a poorly constructed walrus—nodded enthusiastically. “And I’m ready to put those Oilers in their place. Connor McDavid doesn’t stand a chance.”
Hargrave, now resigned to his fate as a reluctant chaperone, mumbled, “This is going to be bad.”
Chapter 44: Chaos on the Ice
By the time we arrived at Rogers Place, Brenda was in full campaign mode, waving her new banner that read,
“The Plushies Must Rise!” Juan had donned a homemade jersey that said “Plushies > McDavid” on the back.
The game started off uneventfully enough, with the Oilers dominating their opponent on the ice. But as the second period wound down, Juan began muttering under his breath about McDavid's “arrogance.”
“He thinks he’s so great just because he’s fast,” Juan grumbled. “Well, I’m fast too!”
“You’re fast at devouring lasagna,” I muttered, but Juan didn’t hear me.
Suddenly, he stood up and yelled, “I’m going in!”
Before anyone could stop him, Juan vaulted over the barrier and slid onto the ice.
“Juan, no!” Hargrave shouted, though he made no move to stop him.
The crowd erupted into laughter and confusion as Juan, slipping and stumbling, made his way toward Connor McDavid, who looked both bemused and annoyed.
“I challenge you to a duel!” Juan shouted, holding up his plush walrus like a weapon.
McDavid raised an eyebrow and skated over, clearly unsure if this was some kind of prank. “What are you doing, man?”
“I’m here to prove that plushies are the future!” Juan declared.
The next few seconds were a blur. McDavid didn’t so much fight Juan as gently nudge him out of the way, but Juan tripped on his own feet and faceplanted onto the ice. Security swarmed him before he could embarrass himself further.
Chapter 45: Brenda’s Verdict
As we were escorted out of Rogers Place (again), Brenda was unshaken.
“That was a
real barroom banger of a fight,” she declared, patting Juan on the back as he cradled his bruised ego (and his walrus plushie). “You gave it your all, sweetie.”
“McDavid’s lucky I didn’t have my full plushie arsenal,” Juan grumbled.
“You slipped on the ice before you could even touch him,” I pointed out.
“Details,” Juan snapped.
Hargrave shook his head. “At this point, I’m just waiting to see how much worse it can get.”
Chapter 46: On to Vancouver
By the next morning, the group had already set their sights on Vancouver. Brenda was convinced that the Canucks would be more receptive to their plushie-centric philosophy.
“Vancouver has culture,” she said. “They’ll understand us.”
“They’ll understand enough to call security the second we arrive,” I muttered.
But Brenda wasn’t listening. She was already brainstorming her next catchphrase.
As we sped west toward Vancouver, with Juan working on his next batch of plushie prototypes and Brenda making plans for another arena invasion, I couldn’t help but wonder how much more Canadian patience we could test.
One thing was for sure: the Plushie Party wasn’t slowing down anytime soon.